Even for 18 and 19-year-olds they often behave very childishly. I'm sure it has something to do with the cult but I can't pinpoint what it is

Mental and emotional maturity come with learning to make decisions and understanding the natural effects of your choices. Not only are young people raised in the church not given the opportunity to explore choices of their own, the second-hand lessons they are taught are often wrong.

Because it's what the church wants. Don't question the people in authority. Don't think for yourself. Don't ask questions, but if you do, make certain you come to the church approved answers. Also, if you do something the church doesn't approve of, go to your bishop or mission president and confess instead to learning from your mistakes.

How mature were you @ 18-19?

That's why I said "even for 18- and 19-year-olds". Some of them are even older. Also, they're supposed to have a sacred calling. Some of them brag about being missionaries. That makes their immaturity even worse

Part of it is the culture of being a missionary. I sort of equate it with the break the Amish take before becoming a full fledged member of their church. Missionaries know that when they get back from their mission they will be expected to get married very soon, go to college and more than likely hold down a job as a student. They are free for a bit from school responsibilities but just ahead is a heavy dose of fitting into the Mormon mold. Missionary silliness is expected and passed down from those who came before them. There are even stories passed down. Missionaries also dislike the label that they are weird. So they over do the behavior that they think will make them look like "regular guys".

And then there is the sexual angst! Eighteen and not allowed to even touch a girl? Where is that energy supposed to go?

I have to disagree. An environment where every minute of every day is strictly controlled is quite the opposite of an Amish rumspringa. Silly behavior is more likely a desperate attempt to find a sliver of individuality in the midst of such utter mind control.

'Rumspringen ist mein Leben.

I did say "sort of" and not exactly. And on my mission we did not have "every minute of every day strictly controlled". We were given a schedule to follow but we didn't have anyone looking over our shoulder. My senior companions were all very casual and went with the flow most of the time as was I as a senior companion. We were given a reasonable amount of freedom to make normal choices. Unless things have drastically changed, missionaries have many opportunities to choose how, and where they do their proselytizing. They may be directed on what hours to keep but mostly we found excuses to insert rest and relaxation. Only the Nazi missionaries were that strict and they were despised by their companions.

I accept that I may need my viewpoint corrected if LDS, Inc. has found some way to monitor missionaries 24/7 that I did not experience.

I did not go on a mission, so I have no personal experience to draw from. Perhaps every minute is an exaggeration, but missionaries are required to be with a companion at all times, and that condition alone is a severe impediment to individuality. Perhaps not all companions are rigid, but there is still at least one set of eyes around (almost) all the time.

Pooped Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Unless things have drastically changed,
> missionaries have many opportunities to choose
> how, and where they do their proselytizing.
>
> I accept that I may need my viewpoint corrected if
> LDS, Inc. has found some way to monitor
> missionaries 24/7 that I did not experience.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Pooped;
Great comments and questions.

Yes, it has gotten much worse.

All companionships (at least in the USA) are now tethered to
a Cell. phone, and they are GPS equipped (at least in my area). They know where they are 24/7, literally.

The church owned and supplied I-Pads also have a tracking capability. There was a conversation here a few months ago, and one participant with knowledge in this area even mentioned what software is used in the I-Pads.

We don't need to go into the tattling abilities of modern automobiles either.

Even messages home must only be transmitted by official lds church email accounts. Why?

There has been a huge push for missionaries to live in the homes of the members. This saves ChurchCo money of course, but it also provides yet another avenue for surveillance.
A person I know had missionaries live in their home for over 3 years. In that time, he received numerous phone calls not from the mission, but from church HQ in SLC regarding how well the missionaries kept to their curfew, did they hang around the house during the day, have "unauthorized" visitors etc.


I doubt that I could have stomached this for two years at my own expense years ago.

Wow! Thanks for setting me straight. I would have been miserable under those conditions. My parents were never even that controlling but to have my church do that to me would have been unbearable. And I would NEVER send a child of mine into that environment. Age 18 is right around the age range when children start needing to be set free and be allowed to individuate from their parents. Putting young adults under constant surveillance could have some serious psychological consequences in my opinion.

I think my mission assigned iPad and phone with GPS would find their way into the toilet repeatedly if I were treated to that level of control. And if Church Headquarters didn't like it they could gladly send me home. For great sakes, missionaries are supposed to be volunteers!!!

I think it's a combo of the inherent emotional stunting of Mormonism, mixed with an all male environment and no real family responsibilities. Mormons don't have a monopoly on it. I had the pleasure of staying and eating with some catholic monks at the monastery. The pranks and teasing and drama reminded me of junior high school except they were all 50-70 years old.

"All male environment"? I don't know about that.

I recently looked at the website of my former mission and it looks like it's about half sister missionaries now! (Rough estimate)

When I went in the 90's there were significantly less sister missionaries. Then we joked that TBM females that went on a mission were the ones that weren't able to get married. But even then we still interacted with them a lot. In fact, it turned out after my mission that an elder and sister in one of districts got married.

We also interacted with female members of the ward and public a lot. Even back then it was nowhere near an all male environment. Heck now the military isn't an all male environment for most career fields.

I don't know about missionaries being more immature than normal for 18-19 year olds.

To test this hypotheses, you need to hang around missionaries and then experience 18-19 year old college frat boys as a control or comparison group.

Just remembering my youth, I would probably have to say the missionaries would be on average the more mature group.

I think the missionaries just seem immature because they are trying to teach very mature subjects that 18-19 year olds really don't have enough life experience to be teaching/lecturing older adults about.

Whenever my ward has tried to reactivate me I've always had a more positive experience when it's been an older (late 20's and above) ward member who stops by my house than when it's just been the missionaries. The missionaries just seem too young to be hectoring me about how I should spend my Sunday's.

True, but you would think that missionaries would be expected to have a higher-than-average maturity level because of how important they supposedly are

Having attended BYU, albeit many years ago, I have to vote with those who say the church culture emotionally stunts the members. They aren't allowed to explore, make mistakes, be authentic or many of the things 18-21 year olds are trying to figure out for themselves in the real world. Not that teenagers are all that mature outside of Mormonism (think frat parties) but at least being a grown up is considered a goal. In Mormonism, they actively try to be a "child" of God. Young adult activities could usually be exchanged for Primary activities with no changes. Constant chaperonage. Fear of normal adult activities. My teenage son's Mormon friends all wanted to do things like watch Disney movies - few would even go to a PG-13 movie with him. And while movie ratings don't make you a grown-up, the fear of grown-up things will definitely stunt you.

So you get these boys AND girls, who have been sheltered by their parents hoping to keep them clinging to the iron rod. They are encouraged to be childlike and submissive and fear many things grown-ups are unfazed by and usually have very little life experience. They didn't have the money to travel or see anything outside of their small Mormon bubble, because they were saving for a mission. Their view of the world is typically Mormon. There is just so much about the way Mormons raise their kids that give them a different sort of immaturity than non-Mormon kids of that age. Combine that with the fact they are actually expected to be MORE mature as self-proclaimed representatives of Christ and that probably explains what you are seeing.

"child" of god = being submissive, non-questioning, a lack of critical thinking skills, etc. Mormons are sheltered from the world. They brag about "being in the world, but not of the world", yet when these 18 year olds are thrust into the alley ways of the inner cities and back-streets of the subarbs - they're expected to fit in and survive. The entire system is idiocracy at best.

I was watching BYUTV over the weekend, flipping through, being only able to stomach maybe 5 minutes at a time. They were bragging about the history of the lighting of the "Y." It was so infantile to hear these guys from the 60's talking about soaking mattress stuffing in oil and then lighting the Y, almost like I was hearing a bunch of frat boys from the 60's bragging about their glory days, but the content was so immature and sophomoric.

Mormons must amuse themselves in childish ways because their church sucks the fun out of a possible joyous activity that life offers.

I firmly believe that mormon boys are becoming more immature, more functionally illiterate, and more socially inept as time progresses.

Perhaps more so than their female counterparts - maybe.

Anecdotal evidence exhibit A:

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1651786,1651786#msg-1651786



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/24/2015 11:17AM by schlock.

Because they are still kids whose whole life has been indoctrinated to believe it's what they're supposed to do. Most have never been inside a different church!
nor do they have any knowledge of what the world outside Mormonism really is like.
In Utah, going on a mission is viewed in such high regard it's scary- like just doing it is what's important - not the content.

I view it as kidnapping the minds of the 18-20 year olds.

I found that the most immature missionaries, when I was one, were those from Utah and Idaho. I think it has to do with being insulated from much of what goes on in the world.

Two years in the military would help them mature. At eighteen I was still a kid, but by the time I was 22, after some time away in a far off war, I had matured. I doubt a mission would have done the same. I will say that the elders in the '60s seemed more mature, at least the senior companions anyway, because they were older when they started.

Most have never experienced life from outside under the rock: opened their eyes (and in many cases, their hearts and minds), seen the sunshine/ daylight or taken a breath of fresh air.

They are stunted.

I think alot of it is simply their background. They are sheltered and naiive, many have only seen Disney movies and have very limited social experiences.

Three years ago, I attended a church luncheon at the Marine Corp. Recruit Depot in San Diego that was put on by the local mission for LDS graduates of recruit training. My son-in-law and seven other young men were graduating. They could not have been more different than the missionaries that were in attendance. The missionaries were more obese and seemed far more immature than the marines. The marines all came from Utah but were from far more humble circumstances and had lived far more in 19 years than their missionary counter-parts had....

It's because of their age and lack of any real life experience.

Because the are YOUNG

Wait, I thought the missionaries were even younger nowadays? Didn't they have some grand revelation that said kids straight out of high school could go on missions?

Those that are 18 when they graduate practically get sent as soon as graduation ends!!

Because religion infantilizes all adherants.

For instance you are not encouraged to think for yourself,

ever. You are supposed to believe in a Big Powerful Daddy

in the sky who can grant all wishes or not dependant upon

your behavior and/or one of the many rules of said Ghawd.

You are to obey and pray for ever. It discourages your personal

and critical thinking skills rendering you powerless.

Get the idea?

As a never-Mo who teaches community college courses, with most of my students being only two years or less out of high school, I have to say that I find most people in that age group to be immature generally--and I teach very, very few Mormons. (Most of my students are Latino or African-American, and there is also a large Muslim minority on our campus.)

However, I think there is a distinction to be made between "naive" and "immature." They often overlap but aren't exactly the same. Few of my students would be considered naive, since so many come from tough neighborhoods, violent backgrounds, etc. However, even if not naive, they are usually still immature, often strikingly so.

Personally, I am far more struck by the immaturity of Mormons I know who are older--in their early 30s for the most part. The women, especially, say things at times that are so immature my overriding feeling is one of embarrassment for them. When I say "immature," I mean things I'd expect to hear not even from a high schooler but rather a junior-high age student. I guesss what I'm trying to say is that I expect most 18 and 19 year old to be immature, Mormon or not. It's when people are several years past their teens that I am really struck by the immaturity and find it sad.

well just like you could quite put your finger on why missionaries act so goofy, many missionaries can't quite figure out why they feel more like they are being mentally and emotionally raped instead of feeling like they are experiencing the best two years of their life just as they have been told they would. Its because they are being mentally and emotionally raped and they are not allowed to acknowledge that REALITY. Gaping disparity like that creates havoc with a person's thought processes and in turn with their behavior, compounded by the fact that they are quite young.

as well, If the MORmON leaders can not face reality, like the fact that MORmONISM is a really lame money grubbing scam founded by a PERVERT CRIMINAL CON MAN who used a supposed magic rock as a prop, then why should the little toady missionaries

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9VDRe17heE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XN6xXS6rUPo

but nothing will help the situation like being very mature and insulting volunteers for their efforts

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuN_ZDJKkPo

The mission is really a coming of age rite of passage ritual for the Mormon culture.

You know, "leave as a boy, come home as a man" type of thing.

This is another of those "kids these days" threads.

How were you at 18?