understand that you will be the subject of a great amount of ridicule and discussion behind your back.

Mormons, even family, will dwell on any personality trait, perceived mistake, spoken word(s), and twist them around in their minds and to their friends, in order to knock you down several pegs.

It will be assumed that the commandments are too hard for you to follow.

It will be assumed that you enjoy porno so much that you can't maintain your church duties.

It will be assumed that you are lazy.

Get ready for it.

Very likely true.
However, the faulty assumptions of other people aren't my problem. And being honest and authentic -- and open -- is far more valuable than pandering to those who make faulty (and harmful) assumptions.

+1

Non-belief is easier to take for Mormons than a contrary belief. Further, Mormons can understand and will calm down sooner and live with non-belief easier than a contrary belief.

Believe me I know by personal experience as I at first expressed non-belief to them. Subsequently, I expressed a contrary belief and it really tore some up. But life does go on!

spiritist Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Non-belief is easier to take for Mormons than a
> contrary belief.

My experience has been the opposite.
My formerly TBM sister, who left and joined a "mainstream" christian church, is more accepted than my atheism within the mormon family. Oh, well :)

That's what the TBM part of your world will think. Everyone else will be pleased, relieved, and wonder what took so long.

Your post assumes that the ward members genuinely feel something one way or another about resignation.

I propose that most of the sheeple are so busy with earning their way to the CK that little energy will be expended on any member who leaves. In graduate school and in the school of life, I have learned that humans have a very short attention span.

In addition and perhaps more significantly, after a fairly long life, I now believe that people are self-centered naturally and really don't think that much about anyone other than themselves -- except for the possibility that pointing out someone else's perceived negatives helps decrease their own feelings of inadequacy.

Of course, I am way out here in the mission field in rural Florida but I don't think anybody misses me in the least. I also have no evidence whatsoever that anybody misses me - that is kind of sad but . . . what someone thinks about me is actually none of my business. My integrity is far more valuable than what other people say about me.

Besides, how can "they" knock you down when you have risen so far above the pile of stinking BS?

You say "Get ready for it." Frankly, "insert any name here," I don't give a damn.

I remain "happy as a dog in a meat shed!"

(edited because I found a punctuation error - oops!)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/03/2015 12:42PM by geezerdogmom.

tbms are so indoctrinated with cult busy work and cult meetings all week they have no time to think about much else.

Most tbms we rarely see I suspect have an idea something is amiss with the church but they've invested so much they stay in the cult.

.

For years after leaving the LDS, my wife and I had no belief in a deity. She still has serious doubts and misgivings with the idea of a supreme being. For me, I am cool with it. She is on her journey in life and while I would like for her to have a faith that is a decision she must make for herself. She told her sister's and some other relatives of her non-belief and it sparked a very verbal response. Things have calmed over the years and she is accepted for herself. The God thing is never raised.

Talk behind my back doesn't bother me, because I'm not listening. And if someone is too chicken to say it to my face, then they're no concern of mine.

My mother always said, "If they're talking about me, they are leaving someone else alone."

You need to learn when other people's opinions matter and when they don't. If they are foolish enough to stay Mormon, then who cares what they think of you?

The tribe says you should live to please the tribe and to fear tribe disapproval.

Too bad a lot of people never grow out of the juvenile craving to be popular, to not be the social outcast.

I'd care about it if I could influence it. I can't.

It's our job to care about our own thoughts and actions.

All those things were done even before I expressed my disbelief. I just became inactive and the discussion and character assassination began. I resigned in a far distant state and returned home years later It appeared the bishop knew all from the other state ward! The eyes of LDS, Inc. are everywhere. What's really funny is how adored and looked up to I was before my apostasy as I had been pretty high in Church Ed.

The point is well taken. We often have the mistaken notion/ expectation that our LDS family and friends will be supportive and happy for our change in beliefs. Most often, just the opposite happens.

It's wise to remember that people need time to adjust to other people's major changes in their lives, especially if it's a core element of the foundation of the home, marriage, the traditions of the familial generations.

When we change our mind about our whole World View it often changes our whole family dynamic. Understanding how people are likely to respond and taking the process very slow often gets, in the minimum, better results.

that there were a few years there I wanted to stand on the roof and scream, "It isn't my fault." My husband was dearly loved in the ward. I'm kind of a quiet, reserved kind of person and keep to myself. The gossip going around was that he chose to be gay after we went inactive. You know, the old thoughts that you will become a drunken pervert. And I was blamed by almost everyone except my family and friends.

So when I lost beliefs. No big deal. My parents were a little shocked, but were very supportive of me. Most of my siblings were already out. All my nieces and nephews are out.

I am actually treated better in this ward than ever before at this point and I've been inactive over 20 years and resigned for over 4.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/05/2015 11:32AM by cl2.