I shipped a box of packaged tuna fish, tooth paste and brushes, handi-wipes, and twenty bibles (bibles were specifically requested by a soldier for bible study so the men could have a copy of their own and not have to share) directly to our military in Afghanistan. I paid for all of the items personally. The box weighed 80 pounds.

When the subject of donations came up, I believe during tithing settlement, the BP chewed my behind out because I didn't send "them through the LDS church's Humanitarian Aid department so the church could get credit for it."

Had I sent them through LDS Humanitarian aid, would they have reached this soldier whom specifically requested these items? No.

Do I have the right to ship items to our military overseas without oversight by the LDS church? Yes, I do.

When I hear of specific needs, I am going to continue to ship packages to our US military. The LDS church be dammed.

Happened DW and her RS sisters, too, when they went onto a nearby Indian reservation to help a local charity sort and pack donated clothing after a large fire had wiped out many homes. The stake president verbally chastised them for not making it a missionary activity for the church by getting more women and having everybody wear the yellow "Mormon helping hands" smocks. They were forbidden from doing it anymore.

And no, even that experience of taking Shiz from an ass-hat didn't help DW see the light. He may be an ass-hat, but he is God's ass-hat.

You might remind those who do this of 'alms before men' or some such.
Doing aid projects for publicity is the opposite of what Jesus taught.

Thank you for sending packages to our military in Afghanistan. My husband served 2 tours in Iraq. It is sad that the bishop can't say "thank you" for giving your time and money for a good cause instead chewed you up. Honestly it doesn't surprise me. Sometimes I think but I have no proof that the bishops get more praise of wards who pay more tithing and wear more the "Mormon helping hands" shirts.

None of the bishop's business what you do with your own time, money and resources.

For church authorities, it's all about the relentless marketing and salesmanship.

Isaiah 5:20 Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.


I couldn't say this any better.

Stop attending tithing settlement.
You don't owe Mormonism anything,not even an explanation.

You need to give only to the CULT so they can use the funds anyway they want which means on themselves.

You are doing what I spent many, many years doing unsuccessfully and that is you are under no obligation to tell anyone including a bishop or SP what you do on your own time and your own dollar.

Telling them only gives them that power to lecture you like you are a five year old. Oh,no, wait; I mean a three year old

I always went to people telling them what I did or was going to do and rather than getting verbal support. I got the kind of crap you got.

You can stop it by taking back your own power and send what you want, donate your time where you want and don't ever expect to get support from these people because you won't.

Thank You IMout !!

THIS subject has ALWAYS drove me NUTS !!! Whatever
happened to the " Don't let your right hand know what your left hand is doing ? ? ( paraphrasing , obviously ).

But..........doesn't it either say or hint in the bible about that ?? Yet...........They get up every conference and brag about it , or else put it all over inside the Ensign and/or the church news. We quit getting the church news because I was sick of all of the bragging !!! I've
asked about this several times on facebook & only the nomo's or the nonmors agree !

I like the way that YOU did it, IMout , & I'd keep doing it that way !!

Thank you "momto15kids" I learned a little technique recently that should help anyone needing reassurance without telling anyone about it. It is called "self soothing".

Using Danielle's example, she can sit and imagine a soldier who might be in the hospital or dodging bullets, or in the middle of a situation that is so frightening, that they actually wet their pants, and then imagine them getting her box and KNOW with absolute assurance that if they could they would kiss her feet.

There is also the possibility that her one box could be the last act of kindness that some soldier receives while he is still on this earth.

For goodness sakes, these are just kids. They aren't playing video games over there. Her heart is absolutely in the right place and so is the heart of every individual who gives unselfishly for someone else. Just knowing that will often have to be enough to "self soothe" and give ourselves the support and reassurance that WE need. Thats the beauty of moving from being a good person to being a great person without anyone knowing what we do.

Ain't it great?

Remember, when you are in the interview with the Bishop or the Stake President, you are to answer and accept counsel as if from the Lords own mouth.

Everyone knows that when Jesus is teaching of charity, he always tells people to make sure everyone knows about it so that they can receive the rewards of man.

quote their scripture at them:


Matthew 6:1 KJV

Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.

When I asked his wife to find out what he needed, she did and told me. The two young attorneys in the office at the time offered to pay part of the cost (which I was quite willing to pay by myself, but I didn't say no) and it took two Priority Mail boxes to ship. Total cost? Not a lot. The important thing was that something needed was sent to the troops.

What did my friend want? Disposable razors. I sent him 150+. That's how they were packaged.

Besides helping a friend, you probably will never know the impact you left on the lives of the two attorneys that you allowed to help pay for shipping. You raised their awareness enough to make the offer. Who knows if they would have thought of such a thing otherwise. Kudos.

Reminds me of going to the visitor center in SLC and seeing a giant display case featuring bags of LDS relief clothing. At first I was touched by the gesture, but then thought "Don't these clothes belong with the needy and not behind glass?"

-nevermo (who was quite confused at the time)

I often talk about taking your power back and owning it. One of the first and best ways of doing that is refusing to report anything to the church leaders that is none of their business. Unfortunately, the traditional patterns have been that the bishop is the "father of the ward" and as such the reporting agent. Not so. It is not necessary. You are under no obligation to go to tithing settlement.You get their copy of their records. You can reconcile those figures without going to tithing settlement.

You have the right and the power to own your own mind, time, money, etc. The LDS Church has no legal right to instruct you or require you to report to them. They like to think they do!
I found that saying: "that's private" is one of the best ways to confound the inquisitors!

And a Big Thank You for sending items to our military. My oldest son spent time in Kandahar. It's a barren place over there and morale is often low. His contribution was music - entertaining. They would get a few guys together and make a band and enjoy the music!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/04/2015 10:01AM by SusieQ#1.

Thank you Susie for your take on this subject and reminding me of something that I have always hated. The term "father of the ward" seems to inadvertently make the rest of the ward the "children" which, in turn, tacitly gives the Bishop the idea that he has the right to talk to people like they are only five years old. I say "enough already"