thegoodfight Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > The list sounds pretty accurate except for the > stay at home mom/ working mom piece. That part was > garbage.
Did you see the research study that backed the "garbage" part?
Maybe seeing an able-bodied adult (stay at home mom) relying on another able-bodied adult (father) has a nullifying effect on a child, especially a daughter.
Do not see it as garbage at all. I think that a working mom, if she enjoys working, lets her children see that there are many options for them.
A stay at home mom who is happy and lets her kids know that being that is her choice but she could have done something else also has a positive effect.
My mom wanted to work but didn't because in the fifties Mormon women just didn't for the most part. It was a bad reflection on the husband where I came from. So, my mom went back to school instead when us kids were older because she wanted something more. It was a valuable lesson for us kids. We saw her as something other than just mom. We saw that she had her own dreams and needs. I was just old enough to get that.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/29/2015 10:27AM by blueorchid.
I take this with a grain of salt too. How do you define mother who works outside the home? Does selling Pampered Chef or Mary Kay Cosmetics count? Extra chicken eggs? And just how long does one need to be employed over the course the the child's life? By the way, the article linked to another article and not the Harvard study...huge red flag. This article was written for an audience of working mothers...hmmmm. Btw, I work and am a mother so no issue there. This type of rhetoric is annoying.
I find this fascinating. All of my siblings have been very successful. However, we don't fit all the nine items. We came from poor, and social skills were so-so.
What mattered the most was that we were all told constantly that we were smart and that we could be or do anything. We were told that a higher education was a must no matter how we had to get it so we needed scholarships because all the money was going to missions.
However, they missed one of the most important ones--work ethic. We were given chores to earn an allowance from an early age and we got jobs at twelve. I count that as gold even though I always envied the kids who didn't have to work. I worked a full time job while at BYU at a gas station to get through. I hated it then, but appreciate it now.
On the down side, I missed the good relationship with my father because he was always Bishop--eleven years. He was robbed.
"Mastery of early math skills predicts not only future math achievement, it also predicts future reading achievement."
Both of my older kids got lots of "math games" really early on ('cause I'm one of those odd people who LIKE math and find it fun), and they could do 3rd grade math when they entered kindergarten. It very clearly helped them in both math and reading achievement, as well as with music.
I plan to do the same with #3, currently an infant. I already play "1 + 1 = 2" games with her hands at one month. She doesn't understand of course, but she likes it :)
I was in college when my kids were in middle school.
I taught them what I learned in my math, chemistry, and life science classes. They were totally capable of not just learning, but comprehending what they were learning. They were far ahead of their peers in math. That gave them good self esteem.
My daughter had a teacher who scolded me for teaching my daughter how to do quadratic equations in 4th grade. She said it made the other kids feel bad about themselves. I was stunned that she could be so stupid. I told her to teach the rest of the class the same thing I taught my daughter. Problem solved. She said she couldn't do that because it wasn't in the curriculum. In other words, the system has no problem dumbing the kids down. Heaven forbid if you teach them more than they "should" know.
Maladice, that teacher was an idiot. I'd be careful about blaming "the system" for that teacher's idiocy, though. My kids, being well ahead in math (and reading), got chosen by their teachers to help other kids who needed it, and got "advanced" lessons to do on their own. They were encouraged and supported, not beaten down. In my case, "the system" was just fine for them :)
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/29/2015 03:01PM by ificouldhietokolob.
madalice Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > My daughter had a teacher who scolded me for > teaching my daughter how to do quadratic equations > in 4th grade. She said it made the other kids feel > bad about themselves. I was stunned that she could > be so stupid.
Let me guess; some mouth-breather at a public school said this? ;)
Great article! On the at home moms/working outside moms question, I think it comes down to how happy and fulfilled the particular woman is doing what she's doing; how well it suits her. I have seen some really wonderful results from both situations. I have also seen some downright tragic results when the woman is unhappy and stressed because she is a poor fit for her situation.
One of these was my aunt, who worked as the Executive Assistant to the Director of Medical Education at a top teaching hospital in the Southwest. She was happy, excited, respected. They adopted a child, hired a housekeeper/nanny and she continued working. It was working great. Surprise pregnancy and child #2, and she became a SAHM. Big mistake. She had been brilliant in her job, but trying to be what she was not as a SAHM brought depression and dysfunction. The whole family struggled as a result.
I recently read a study that most women, after childbirth, have more respect and acceptance for the choices other women make regarding their role as mothers. They are more "nuanced" in their views than men or outsiders.
The problem is that there are too many religious organizations trying to dictate what a family should be. There are all kinds of families. Mine was a mom and grandma raising four kids, who all turned out great. Many of my children are raising their kids just fine while both mom and dad work. I know very successful people who were raised by a single parent, and I know gay parents who are doing the same. What families need is support, not criticism.
Yes! No one way is the best for everyone. The best things we can do are: love our kids, say sorry when we screw up and encourage them to do their best.