Both of these two finished their missions only in the past year. Now, although one of them was an elder who posed with a girl (presumably his girlfriend) on his Facebook just prior to his mission he never mentioned anything about her to me. Nor did the other one; she never mentioned about having a boyfriend back home (though she told me about her grandma's passing) but now mentions she's getting married soon. She had no pics of her with this guy until these new posts on her account announcing her wedding.

I can't help but wonder if they're being pressure to go to the alter (is there an alter in the temple?) and start pumping out offspring right away. I am reluctant to ask directly as I do not want to "blow things up" so to speak. But at the same time I want to warn them about marrying someone they don't really love.

Sounds to me like you are far enough removed from them socially that your input would not be terribly influential and you may be cut from the 'wait outside the temple' invite as a reward for your concern.

The goody-goody kids out in the field take seriously the goals that are set for them and agonize when they can't quite meet them. So after months of straining to meet goals, this is what happens when they are released, and told to get married within six months.

I don't see it as caving in to "pressure", or beng told to get married within six months (are any missionaries really told that anymore?), to me the answer is pretty simple...they want to have sex. And they have either had a girl who waited for them for two years or one they just met who wants to have sex with them.

Just sayin'

Since most don't really know each other, they are often mis-matched. Their brains aren't fully developed until 25.

They don't know if they are completely suited for each other unless they have sex/spend constant time together. If not, they are lucky they can negotiate all of those expectations.

Many Mormons are getting divorced, or don't spend time together when the kids are gone. Church busy work is one excuse not to see each other...

Telling young Mormon kids they don't know what they are doing is usually wasted effort. Simply asking the question, the reply was, "The church advises dating, then a very short engagement to avoid temptation."

Ex-Sis Wrote:
Their brains aren't fully developed until 25.


Do you have a source? This interests me.

25 seems like a bit of an arbitrary number. I feel like I've developed a lot since then.

(sorry, I know this is a bit off topic).

Sandra Aamodt, Neuro-scientist

Book: Welcome to Your Child's Brain

NPR interview with Tony Cox

More and more research indicates the decision making part of the brain isn't fully developed until well after the teen years.

in most psychology/sociology books it will say something to that effect also young people are unable to imagine other points of view until 25. Before that it is black and white, everything is true or false. One way is the right way. If someone doesn't agree then they have let go of the iron rod and are wicked sinners punished by Gawd.

Hence the church sends kids off at 18 before they had time to figure out that they might not be right no matter how good they feel about it.

young utah tbm dating scene is a meet market. Of course those that are the cutest with a splashy personality hook up first, the rest wait and dream of the perfect mate. Legal mounting is paramount in many a young persons brains.

To me, it seems as if there might be some pressure for returned missionaries to get married before they're home a year, but it's also possible that they get married after a brief dating period because they don't want to succumb to temptation. My youngest step sister was engaged and married after a quick dating period 7 months after she got back, and she was among the last of her former companions to get married.

Sorry, I can't avoid posting this! I loved your question "Is there an alter in the temple?" I think you meant "altar."From my screen name you can tell I work with animals, especially dogs. We call "alters" animals who have been neutered or spayed. So I am ROFLMAO thinking about human alters in the temple. Didn't they used to be called eunuchs? Oh, the vision is hilarious!

Yes, there are alters in the temple. But they aren't the ones I am envisioning - just the padded white things in the sealing and endowment rooms.

(I apologize for being a "grammer" or spelling troll but it is just too funny to us dog people! Thanks for the chuckle!)

I AM a proficient speller, but I have a habit of posting before I check what I write for spelling errors. I knew it once I saw it posted, but just didn't feel like editing it. Yes, it is "altar", but stupid me for procrastinating on correcting it.

But I suppose that temple weddings don't have a cute 3-year-old girl in a pretty dress, dancing and frolicking around. And they don't have bridesmaids in the truest sense, right? Am I to believe that instead of a tuxedo or suit, the groom wears that Pillsbury Doughboy toga instead?

Edited to pluralize "weddings"



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/28/2015 03:21PM by agnesbroomhead.

No three year old, no bridesmaids, groom in a Pillsbury dough boy uniform. Many brides are not in a wedding dress because the dress has to have long sleeve and a high neck. Sure there are things to can attach to the wedding dress to make it modest enough, some brides get married in a regular temple dress.

To me it seems like they raised the pressure in that issue. From 8 I spent more time with in the past year 4 got married within 3 months after they returned home. 2 more are engaged and will marry soon. Just 2 sisters are not "taken" yet..One wants to enjoy life (as far as you can as a mormon), and the other one is a lesbian. Three of the 4 had one waiting home they met short before they left, one married a former Mish from her district she met only a few times before he headed back home.
De Facto they're all married to strangers. Even if you've waited for 2 years a mission experience will change yoyr personality and getting engaged 2 weeks after being home can't be a good deal. However I wish them all the best. They might need it.

You know, when I read the thread title, my first thought was:
"Oh, cool -- two just returned male missionaries are ditching the church and getting a ssm!"

Sigh. The reality wasn't as good as my fantasy. :(

ificouldhietokolob Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You know, when I read the thread title, my first
> thought was:
> "Oh, cool -- two just returned male missionaries
> are ditching the church and getting a ssm!"
>
> Sigh. The reality wasn't as good as my fantasy.
> :(

That is also what I was thinking, and wish Boyd had still been alive to invite to the wedding.

Same here ...

It indeed sounded nice, the two getting married to each other, i did indeed see two guys in my mind, holding hands, kissing and just being blissfully happy

Im seeing this happen A LOT since the age was lowered. These kids are coming home and after 2-3 months they are announcing engagements on facebook.

What??