He wants to meet me. Delima: Would you attend the meeting? The excommunicating tribunal lacked compassion. Why would I expect any now?

Btw, the missionaries have been tasked with teaching excommunicated members. They must not have enough investigators nor inactives. Whom is providing these elders with our names?

Attend if you still believe but don't go anywhere near him if not.

If their "lacking compassion" is your only concern try studying what's regularly posted here. If after that you can find no other fault then sign the rest of your life over to them.

Ignore their request and go live a full and happy life.

dimmesdale Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ignore their request and go live a full and happy
> life.


Yes, this.

You would always be a second-class citizen in their eyes.

Excommunication is different than resignation. They "get to" keep records on ex'ed people. This is so that you don't move and try to get baptized again. They also don't want to give you food from Bishop's storehouse or clothes from DI.

Even though you're ex'ed you would still have to do the whole resignation w/no contact letter. Otherwise, they will try to reconvert and love bomb you.

I had heard that missionaries were now being tasked with finding ex'ed and inactive members. If the inactive has determined that they are no longer members, the missionaries were to ask if they wanted to resign. I don't know if this "program" is still in place; maybe they were finding too many did want to resign... so to keep the membership numbers up, maybe they stopped asking.

Go. Say the standard pleasantries. give him no info for the first couple of minutes. Then when you are ready hand him your letter of resignation.

http://www.exmormon.org/remove.htm

"I would appreciate it if you would proceed with my resignation immediately. Thank you."

Then make your exit. No further words necessary.

That box gets checked. No more visits. No longer a member.
No arguments. No testimony bearing. No intrusive questions.

Done.

I had only seen the missionaries at my door once in over 25 years. The year after we resigned, they showed up 3 times. They are still after those who have resigned. I have plenty of friends who keep hoping I'll change my mind. My neighbors have left me alone for a while. Can't say that of other new members in the ward.

Resigning was WONDERFUL for my sense of self. Otherwise, they ramped up the love bombing for a while.

But I certainly wouldn't meet with the SP unless you are just curious and we'd love to hear a report!!!

Go in and hand him a piece of paper with two lines:

CESLETTER.COM and MORMONTHINK.COM

What do YOU want to do?

The only reason you should meet with anyone from the church is if you want to. You do not have to respond in any way, shape, or form to their letter.

They hold no power or authority over you. They want to meet with you to get you back. Do not give them any power over you.

If there is a reason that you want to meet with them, go ahead. Just remember that you are in control, they want something from you, not the other way around.

Personally, if it were me, I wouldn't bother. Since they ex'd you, they are already going to be looking down on you. Unless you're planning on getting re-baptised, meeting with them in person, even if only to say, "leave me alone", would just confirm to them that you were properly ex'd. If I were to respond at all it would be with a formal resignation letter.

Whatever you choose to do, do it for your reasons, not theirs.

What he wants doesn't matter. At all. So what if he wants to meet you.

Don't let him set the agenda for your life. If YOU want some kind of closure, if YOU feel the need to talk to a Mormon leader, then do it if and when you are ready to do it.

If you don't want to talk, or don't want it yet, then tell him "Don't call me, I'll call you. . . . maybe." You might even throw in a "Your church kicked me out, and it was done pretty heartlessly. I don't need a church like that in my life, ever again."

The main thing I've learned in dealing with contacts from TBMs who wanted to talk about church again, was not to let them screw with my head. Sometimes I'd let them derail me from what I needed to be focusing on in my life, and let them upset me for a few days or a couple of weeks while I tried to come up with an appropriate response. I learned that it wasn't going to let them do it again. I learned not to give them any space in my head. If you don't want to deal with it, then blow it off and tell him you aren't going to 'go there' with the church talk. It's not on your 'to-do' lists. You are done and he'll have to find another target.

Whenever I have met with any church folks it has ALWAYS been on MY turf, not theirs. If you want to meet with him, make him come to you.

Compassion?! Compassion for what? Compassion means feeling with someone with the goal and ability to help someone become happy. Compassionate doctors cure the sick, for example. They recognize someone else is sick, they have disciplined themselves to receive difficult education and a difficult course of practice in order to have the ability to help a sick person become well, become happy. It's very practical. A MLM fraudster, on the other hand, exploits the sick person by using the placebo effect against them. The fraudster may care about the person's illness, but, because they lack ability to do anything competent about the problem, they cannot be compassionate.

Mormons have a view of reality based strictly upon an a particular view of the afterlife, with a literal belief in ghosts thrown in. In other words, completely impractical. It's simply the opinion that "I'm right." If one's a SP, they believe not only that they're right, but also that God and Jesus confirm every thought in their heads, and their righteousness. This arrogance--wearing the authority of God--isn't compassion, this is an obstacle to compassion. Even if the SP is empathetic, and really wants you to come back, repent, and resume your progression to be with Jesus forever, it's meaningless because the program itself is made up. Any natural sympathy or empathy is stamped out because of the errors in the practicality part.

If you want to resume your progression to be back with Jesus forever, you've got to ask yourself, not necessarily if you want to repent of whatever got you ex'd in the first place, but what makes you think that TSSC's got the formula to get you back to God. Well, they certainly say they do, and they believe it. But so what? What's the theoretical proof? JS claimed he was a prophet and received the restoration of the true church. On what grounds should anyone believe JS? JS never had a true prophecy in his life. Personally, he was not only "just an man," or "imperfect," he was a criminal. The doctrines change on a whim, so what's the grounds to believe any of it? The whole thing is like repenting of sin in order to be allowed to play a video game, or be one of the cool kids. What has compassion got to do with it?

Whatever the problem is that one seeks compassionate attention from someone else, I would think an SP, backed by the ComicCon that is TSSC, is not the place to go. If you happen to know this SP personally, and he's a wise man, sure talk to him. But the fact that he rose to SP suggests he's deeply deluded about how and why people become happy.

When the guy from the Ford dealership in your local TV commercials says, "Come in today!" do you go?

The stake president has less to offer you than that guy.

haha! +1

Hell no. There is no reason to meet with him.

Remember the advice that you should never meet with the police without your attorney? This is because they are professionals. They're used to manipulating and trapping people. The same thing for a lot of the church leadership.

They kicked you out, and now they want you to come meet with them. I think not. Just tell them you do not rejoin any group that kicked you out. Only "stupid people" go back where they were not wanted and you are not stupid.

Then send SLC the silly letter they want and be done with them.

Tell them you don't want to join any club that would have you as a member.

Morg people assume those who were exed might wish they could return. Resignation makes it clear that's not the case.

I'd say snub them. Don't go unless you do actually want to return to church.

I'm sure you're right. There will be little if any compassion toward you at any meeting. If they're nice, it's because they want something from you not because they care.

Ignore them. Give them zero response and encouragement. Treat them as any unwanted salesman trying to get his foot in the door. You wouldn't respond to other spammy emails, right?

You've moved on. You don't need what they are selling.

They somehow conned you into attending a "excommunicating tribunal" which makes them think they are in charge of you. Time to stop giving them power.

Just my take. Whatever you decide, return and report!

Excommunication is part of a repentance process.
When a person gets exed, they are supposed to come crawling back and go through all the hoops so that they can be found worthy of HF's love again.

When people get exed but not return, they are fair game. Your SP's claim that your tribunal lacked compassion makes it look like the SP is trying to smooth over any resentment you have toward your judges and lure you back into the fold.

If you should return, the first year will be the hardest as they make you crawl through their demands and restrictions, and whether HF forgives you and your sins are blotted out, you will always have a note on your membership file that says why you were excommunicated. That notation will be held against you in any kind of disciplinary discussion. It will also be thouroughly reviewed before your ordiannces and blessings are restored.

On the other hand, resigning from the church brands you as a lost cause and a potential enemy. And if you voice your doctrinal and historical concerns to your bishop, there will be a notation that says you are a danger to the flock and you will be left alone.

Odd. You're not a member. If you want to stay that way, ignore the SP.

If for some reason you really want to return to the LDS church, then go.

However my recommendation would be to ignore this summons. Any "club" that kicks you out doesn't deserve even a drop more of your good will, your money, your time, nor your hard work.

Not that I'm recommending the Catholic church, but let me contrast their repentance process vs. the Mormon church. In Catholicism, you go to confession along with a number of your other church members. You wait in the pew. No other member will think that you are in the least bit unusual because everyone is expected to go at least once a year. Some go weekly or monthly.

When your turn comes, you go into the confessional. There is a dark screen between you and the priest. The whole process is officially anonymous. If that isn't enough privacy for you, you can even go to confession at another church if you wish. You tell the priest your sins, whether they be large or small. He absolves you of your sins and gives you a penance, usually several prayers that you say immediately after you leave the confessional. You walk out of the church and you are FINISHED. You are officially forgiven, with none of your fellow congregants being any the wiser. You get to hold your head high and take communion the next day along with everyone else. There is no written record taken of whatever you confessed. Priests will go to jail before they will divulge whatever you said in the confessional, and that's assuming that they can even figure out who you are.

Now compare that with the lengthy, public shaming process that happens in the Mormon church. Ask yourself, what do you think would be closer to what Jesus had in mind for the repentance process?

If you still feel the need of religion in your life, I would urge you resign from the Mormon church and to find a kinder, more compassionate church.

Good luck to you and do let us know how things proceed.

get the hose ready...

I'm going to go against the grain here. If I were to be put in your situation, I would go and meet with him…

BUT ONLY to tell him that he was a member of a cult, had no authority, and that he could go f*** himself. Then stick my middle finger in his face, turn and walk out.

To be disrespected like that, on his home field, by an ex'ed member, would (I think) be a supreme embarrassment and humiliation for him. And there would be absolutely, literally *nothing* he could do about it, with no means left to retaliate.

NEVER.

He wants to get you back in the fold for more free work and your money.

You should know better than to do what "your" SP wants.
He is a nobody. Ignore him.

Am I missing something here?

Contacting excommunicated people is sadistic.

For OP, if you had been in a relationship with a psychopath who dumped you, would you answer his/her call after that?

How is this situation any different?

SP has complete disregard for your boundaries and yoru right to self-esteem and self-determination.

I personally think this action on the part of the SP shows how desperate the cult is for members. The cult is hurting, not in control and not a happy camper.

Go if you want, but I suggest you extend an invitation to him to discover the happiness and freedom you've discovered while handing him your resignation letter and the CES letter. If he talks cult, you be sure and talk freedom, smiling and beaming all the time.

LD$ Inc. wants your money !

+1

I decided to meet with the SP. I'll let you know what transpires!

Yes, do return and report.

You could always reply back with the temple recommend question:

Do you affiliate with any group or individual whose teachings or practices are contrary to or oppose those accepted by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or do you sympathize with the precepts of any such group or individual?

I told the former regional rep that I would be happy to meet with him any time....haven't been bothered by anyone. I think they are afraid I have a disease fatal to their testimony.