My mom called me today--at an airport, to tell me my (3 years younger, not overweight) brother had a mild heart attack. He's OK now and going to have some stents put in, so this is not the problem. I appreciated the call.

BUT THEN, Munchymomom proceeded to tell me she had gotten a little bit of money and sent some of it to me and Brobotaz, and I am to use it for what she wants me to use it for and not argue or make fun. Big introduction, because she knows it's going to be a problem.

Cue the fear-based, fundamentally racist apocalyptic B.S. She wants me to get some food storage. Things are about to get really bad here (she's been saying this for like 10 years--used to be because Prezident Hinckley sedso), and I should take this money and buy canned goods.

I reminded her I still have several cases of canned goods that she sent me, then switched to uh-huh mode until she finished going on about the evil, eevil people in the world. *This* money is going to make her feel better. She kept saying "this money."

"Are you going to tell me how much?" I finally asked.

Ten dollars! My mother is going to sleep better knowing I have half a dozen cans of soup or something.

What should I get?

Spend it on cigarettes, chocolate, and a poster of Katy Perry. Those should help in case anything really does go wrong.

Edit: Oh and I hope your bro is back on his feet. Bummer about the heart attack.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/07/2011 02:41AM by Freevolved.

They didn't find any blocked vessels, so he didn't get the stents. He's been having frequent left arm pain and numbness coupled with heart pounding for months and probably longer, but is an extreme doctor and medicine avoider. Won't even take Tylenol unless he's dying. He can't hear, either, and drives everyone crazy but won't get a hearing aid.

They put him on some medication but couldn't find anything specifically wrong. Munchymomom thinks this is a good thing; I don't.

Rent "Prop 8" with a bucket of popcorn and a beer?

Then toast her health and happiness. Well, 'tis the least you could do.

She means well, clearly, but...

A case of diced tomatoes will stand between your family and destruction?

munchybotaz Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> What should I get?

Condoms!

Glad2B Out

Twinkies (banana flavored)! They have a shelf life of 203 years.

Just sayin'...

Ron

WTH? what can anyone spend on ten dollars?

What I would do to set both of you in the win....
go to walmart section and buy 10 dollars (hell buy 15 dollars) of freeze dried icecream in the camping section.

When you are feeling blue and the world (mom) has you down you can tear open a pack and feel better.

That way you can tell Mom that you bought $15 of food and it's designed to last a long time. Then you can sit back and enjoy the sweets..

Anubis

I'm going with Ron on this one.
Any Hostess product has a shelf life that exceeds the time there will be life on this plant.
In Jr. high a home ec. teacher has a twinkie that she had , for over 10 years. That was in the 60's. I checked back a few years ago, the department had it, it still looks worth of nom.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/07/2011 10:32AM by nomilk.

"What should I get?"

3 options:

a 12 pack of your favorite mass produced macro-brew beer on sale.

a 6 pack of your favorite micro-brew beer.

a decent bottle of wine:
Mirassou cab or pinot noir.
Ed's Red
Korbel champagne

Yikes!
She made that much of a production about $10!? That's just so...mormonylicious.

My mother is a professional worrier. Her mother was one, too, but not as bad. Being Mormon makes it worse ... a lot worse.

I forgot to mention she implied that she'd had some sort of heavenly inspiration to do this.

You, know, one of those water filters that make it possible to get potable water from a buffalo foot step full of water??

Not really a bad idea if you live where its possible to be plagued with tsunamis or "100 year" floods. Put it in your first aid kit! Or your 72 hour pack!
Then you can sleep better!
But for $10.00 you might want to buy a really good non electric can opener for your canned goods! :D!
What a loving mother you have!

$10 dollars..

Bottled water..tomado soup..and chocolate kisses

stormy

stormy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> $10 dollars..
>
> Bottled water..tomado soup..and chocolate kisses
>
> stormy


Make your $10 go further at the 99.99 cent store! :-)

Mormons start with two strikes against them when it comes to understanding reality, but even for a Mormon, solving the coming collapse of civilization for $10 is a stretch.

Been wondering the same thing for years.

I don't think she really believes the $10 will help much, but it makes her feel better. It also makes her feel better that my brother's doctors don't know why he had a heart attack.

My recommendation: five bottles of "Two Buck Chuck" from Trader Joe's!

~VOW

I have to humor my mom and one of my best friends about this. Friend said something you might be able to use "If you don't store water, don't bother storing food." Go get a couple of cases of bottled water and stick them under your bed or something. Water bottles come in handy, unlike canned, dehydrated carrots.

Lottery Tickets, of course!

I'd get chocolate and/or Coca Cola or coffee. None of them have a lot of nutrition, but they are good.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/07/2011 06:43PM by bona dea.

and I'm STILL LAUGHING! LOL!!!!!!!

$10! LOL!!!!!

My "evil times" preparation, which began during the aftermath of hurricane Katrina, consisted of buying 1000 rounds for my AK-47

A mother's day card telling her how much you love her? When she dies and you feel that emptiness of losing the only person who worries about you that much, you'll wish you had.

... nip porn squeelers?

Timothy

I'd get a pint of whiskey. You never know you could get snakebite and it would be handy.

Ramen noodles. In a disaster you can drain some water from your hot water heater and use it to cook the noddles on a barbeque grill. That should make Mom happy.

less than $10 new.

Get canned tea and coffee!

For ten dollars, if you shop around, you can get a box of wine. It will last you quite awhile, will make you feel better and is good for you.

That's my vote.

Donate it to a local soup kitchen...along with $90 of your own. Let it be useful NOW, and that pittance will surely help. There are people who need every penny, and others who know how to make every penny count.

And silently thank your mother for starting this ball rolling, instead of exploiting her for the sake of board sneers and jeers.

YOU can make something good come of this, and mine is just a suggestion to think about it differently.

I do appreciate the thought, but my mom needs that $10 a lot more than I do, and I hate how she sits around worrying and fretting about things she has no control over--things that are dumber and less likely to happen than the economy and/or the government imploding. Really, you have no idea. This is just one example. She's irrational, and I'm just never going to be thankful for that. Call me a spoiled, selfish mother exploiter.

You're welcome to a break. I just wanted to add a different note from the usual "throw it in her face" (figuratively) suggestions to use it for something personal that would upset her if she knew it.

As many know, I'm living in Japan, and although it's not in my area, there are thousands and thousands of people who are homeless or danger-area refugees living on donated food and water and will remain in that condition for months. Sort of gives me a different perspective.