Personal authenticity is highly valued these days in Western society, but sometimes I wonder what it means.

The athlete formerly known as Bruce Jenner recently revealed that for many years, he has believed himself to be a woman. While he says he has no plans to have a sex-change operation, he now takes estrogen, wears make-up and dresses, and refers to himself (or herself) as Caitlyn.

Eastern Washington University professor Rachel Dolezal - a blonde caucasian with freckles - has been passing herself off as half-black for the past decade. To complete the physical transformation, all she had to do was spend lots of time in the tanning booth, smear on dollops of dark skin cream, and find an obviously marvelous hairdresser. But her spiritual transformation (in her mind, anyway) required something else: victimhood. To that end, Miss Dolezal produced racist hate mail supposedly addressed to her - which law enforcement has now said never went through the US Postal service at all, and which, it seems undeniable, Dolezal placed in her own post office box. Through a change in physical appearance and a few choice victimhood stories (albeit fabricated by herself), Dolezal finally felt "truly herself".

This sort of thing has been building up for a while. Singer Michael Jackson felt uncomfortable with who he was for years, and finally attempted to entirely "de-negrify" himself: in the end, he sported white skin, straight hair, and a face surgically denuded of any West African features. He went from being a handsome black man to a cross between Karen Carpenter and the King Tut death mask. Some people thought he was a freak, but Michael felt he was manifesting his true self.

What about Lil' Kim? She used to be a black woman, but surgically turned herself Chinese. http://thatgrapejuice.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/LIL-KIM-THAT-GRAPE-JUICE.png. She too is happy with her changed state.

Nikki Minaj is mostly ethnic Indian, but for most of her career has masqueraded as a black woman by using make-up and strategic diction adjustments. By contrast, Mariah Carey didn't even admit that she was black until well into her career.

Closer to home, I know one forty-something year old ex-Mormon who, since leaving Mormonism, has not been able to settle on who she is, or should be. She has changed her name (yes, her *first* name) several times now, flitted from one life path to the next almost as quickly as she could imagine new ones, destroyed a number of her most important relationships, keeps moving, and is regularly spotted at parties drunk and sobbing. She has most recently decided that the secret to finding her true self is in getting large, gaudy tattoos. Along the way, she too has had several cosmetic surgeries.

My questions are: What does it really, truly mean to be "oneself"? How can you reliably discern that? Is there a depth at which "self" actually just is immutable? And at what point (if any) can an outsider legitimately conclude that another person really isn't being so much "authentic" as manifesting real psychological dysfunction?

By the way, here is a video clip of one of my own experiments in "transformation". I was supposed to appear as myself on some Christian TV show, but at the last minute, decided to appear as my "new self": British rock star Ian Starglow. I only told the host two minutes before we went on air. (I didn't light the ciggie because I didn't know how to smoke). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5hLrcenCxs



Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 06/14/2015 12:24AM by Tal Bachman.

I think there's a distinction and a difference between how one looks and what one is.

One of these are the facts about a persons life and the other is the way one wants to present themselves in their dress, their skin color, their make-up, and their all over presentation. We all invest in our "identity." But that doesn't necessarily have to do with the facts of our origins, our history, our parentage and our current personal situation.

*Comments are disabled for this video*

Yeah it wasn't me who disabled them lol

Tal Bachman Wrote:
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> Yeah it wasn't me who disabled them lol


*comment*

Ozzy and Iggy have met their match. Nicely done, Ian.

Sorry, Tal, until you have your upper lip surgically stiffened
it doesn't count as a profound transformation to a Brit.

Baura - The Brits aren't like that at anymore. They've "caught up" to us North Americans, and are now as soft and whiny and stupid and spineless as we are. Rugby's the only exception.

I was reminded of Spinal Tap. Pretty funny spoof, bravo.

This is the eternal question, isn't it? It's nothing new. It may be more of a postmodern/deconstructionist 'moment' but these questions have always existed. Caitlyn Jenner isn't reinventing the wheel, there's just more technology available now when before it didn't exist so people couldn't express those things physically...they just had to psychologically. There is lots of evidence of transgender people throughout history. It's not a new thing.

Plastic surgery, robots, social media that serves as an extension of ourselves, blah blah--technology is changing. Humans and their desires haven't.

Also, I don't think all of these things can be conflated. I think each one of the identity politics-related issues you cited has a huge weight of history, nuance, and different cultural imperatives that would cause someone to want to 'pass' as something else. Collapsing all of those categories doesn't make sense as each one has an entirely different set of societal norms/expectations/microhistories about appearance, beauty standards, relationships to social status, etc.

I left this on the other thread, but I think it's important to talk about the reasons why the Caitlyn Jenner and Rachel Dolezal issues are entirely different and shouldn't be compared:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/06/12/rachel-dolezal-caitlyn-jenner_n_7569160.html

Tal, to be clear, this video of you is a meltdown? It's hard to know if you're being serious.

It was inspired by an ongoing meltdown, but dramatized for comic effect

I have felt more myself since I left the Church than I had in decades. It's more like how I felt when I was growing up, like from maybe under the age of 16.

I don't feel like a kid, but I feel like the "Me" I was back then, in how I think and feel. It's hard to explain, but I hadn't seen this Me in a very long time.

I like her much better than the Mormon Me. I just feel more natural and comfortable. I'm not always trying to be perfect and embrace myself just as I am.

It feels more genuine.

Changing to white. He had vitiligo, which is why he wore the the one glove in the 80s. He was hiding the changing pigment of his skin.

http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2014/09/michael-jacksons-skin-turn-white-got-older-2/

http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/07/09/michael.jackson.glove/

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/13/2015 09:57PM by baneberry.

George C.: Quit using multiple board names. It is against board rules. If you have something to say, use your regular board nick.

FYI: Tal Bachman is not Admin. He cannot delete your posts. Your posts in this thread (and any other we see that are against board rules) were deleted because you are using multiple nicks.

Also, it is against board rules to post or discuss IRL (in real life) information about another poster. That type of comment will also be deleted. However, we don't want to have to follow you around to make sure you comply. So, you are requested and expected to follow basic board rules just like any other poster.

Maude, RfM Admin
for Eric, Board Founder and Owner

Tal,

Removing one's penis, taking hormones, binding breasts, removing breasts, is not passing fancy. Wow, if I call foul, the powers that be, that appear to have a celeb complex, will most likely delete me. Poof, those in disagreement, be banished.
Shame on you - big time.

Tal, does Ian's amp volume go up to 11?

The saddest transformation is Jocelyn Wildebeast, or whatever her name is. She looks vaguely like a lion?

As long as people aren't harming someone else, to each their own, although it is sad when aging celebrities have too much work done on their face...

Saanhetna - huh?

Did I miss something, or are you making light of their need to transform. If so, I call them as I see them. If not, Tal, huh?

I'm not really clear as to why these people have felt the need to change who they are on the outside. But changing one's appearance doesn't really change someone's inner self, or does it?

What it strikes me more as that these people are suffering from some very troubling self-image issues with their bodies, their faces, their very identities - like name changing for instance several times shows a person who doesn't really know their own self anymore, like the woman who left Mormonism only to become bogged down in desperately trying to find herself in empty and unfulfilling pursuits.

Pseudo esteem is what psychologists call someone who needs to feel good about their outward appearances first and foremost to feel at peace with themselves. Why people want to change their skin color could depend on discrimination or just wanting to be accepted - but that doesn't explain why someone would choose to become black and feign victimization unless they have deeper lying psychological issues. That woman Tal highlights has made her living working for the NAACP pretending to be a victimized colored woman. She could have worked for the NAACP as a white woman without all the fakery. So why live a lie? That just goes to an underlying sickness IMO, not to someone trying to be authentic.

Pseudo esteem is false esteem. Healthy esteem isn't based on outward appearances, but inner qualities. The smoking video with Tal in different dress trying to appear to be like a British rocker, discarding his Canadian roots even as an attempt to be funny was a serious commentary on someone having an identity crisis - and trying to as he says "find himself" by trying on different roles. I'm glad you didn't know how to inhale, Tal. Getting addicted to smoking is one less thing you'll need to add to your check list of things to get over lol.

We live in a crazy messed up world. That doesn't mean we need to become that after leaving a well ordered and defined religious cult. You can still find order and meaning in living, and be fruitful and productive - and happy. Much of what we get out of life has to do with our expectations. And also how we find balance without being ordered by a structured religious order that Mormonism provided. It is possible to do, without losing perspective or sanity.

I've always had an affinity to worship somewhere after leaving Mormonism. What I've been very careful not to do is to get sucked back into anything that resembles another cult like Mormonism. Or anything else. For me finding myself didn't require destroying who I was in the process. It does involve fine tuning, and exploration, allowing room for growth and self-discovery. We're each on a journey to somewhere. We each come into this world alone, and we each leave this world alone. The measure of a life is what exactly? That is unique to the individual, but all life has worth, and each life has meaning.

I guess I just don't understand why someone would want to self-destruct, although there's lots of people who do. And lots of people who try to re-invent themselves, but can't that be done without self-destructing?

I guess I'm just not really sure of the worth of pathologizing other people or assigning value judgments to them based on their self-identificatory choices, which don't affect anyone but themselves. I don't know if they have great self esteem or none and there's no way I could know. What is clear is that when people step outside the norm, other people get scared and offended and pathologize it and say things like "they hate themselves." Maybe they do or maybe they love themselves enough to do anything to make themselves happy. Just because the way they do that doesn't fit societal expectations doesn't mean they don't know who they are. It doesn't affect me one way or the other and I can't make any assumptions about their internal experiences.

How is that impossible?
Even for a nano_second?
We live with it every second....
It's called our Brain.

Well done, Tal.

It doesn't get more Canadian than Ian Starglow. Well done.

Cheers,

Human

I'll take Tal at his word regarding the intent of his original post.

FYI - He, or anybody is absolutely FREE to observe behavior and make judgments based on his own life experience.

Others are obviously free to call him on what they think are errors in his ways.

I've noticed a trend among certain posters who want to chastise people who disagree with them, or with the prevailing politically correct/pop culture philosophy just because...exactly. Because the opinions or beliefs may not be popular.

Reminds me of a cult full of bullies.

To the poster using board names George C and sassenach (and likely others): You have been asked by Admin to follow the major board rule of posting using only one board name. Some of your posts have been deleted due to you using multiple nicks and you have been advised of this. Yet you continue to do so. This is not allowed. It is a misuse of anonymity and is an abuse frequently used by trolls.

Please do not respond on the board (also not allowed). If you have questions or concerns, contact Admin via email.

Maude, Sr. Mod
for Eric, Board Founder and Owner, who calls all the shots for the good of the board



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/14/2015 07:28PM by Maude.

great accent, you should take up acting.

With a flair for comedy.

Trailer Park Boys guest star. Do they still make that? Guilty pleasure

I didn't see it that way. It was something he brought up to discuss, not to condemn. Many of us use examples of people we know, without mentioning names. Unless that person is a regular here, I don't know how that would offend anyone. I understood it as an analysis of someone who has lost her sense of selfhood, if she ever had one. Or struggling to redefine herself after leaving a cult behind, and getting bogged down with alcohol and identity crises.

Nor has Tal edited it since his initial posting. It is the same as it was when I first read it earlier today. It hasn't changed. The paragraph is still intact as it was when it was first written.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/14/2015 08:43PM by amyjo.