I hate it when I post a reply or a comment on a thread and it gets totally ignored. Either people just kind of talk around it or else it just seems to kill the whole topic. I never fit in at church stuff and I guess I don't fit in here either. I must be a really boring person.

Yeah I know, cue the little tiny violins.

Meh.

You only notice when it happens to you...

Bet you didn't notice when these same thing happened to me many times.

It ain't you, it's just the way the board works...

We had a poster named Threadkiller. Pretty awesome, that.

So, yeah. Some posts sink like stones. Usually it's because other threads are getting a lot of comments.

What would you like to talk about that has been ignored? <- sometimes it seems like a comment is ignored, but I find myself nodding or laughing at many comments. I try VERY HARD, MAUDE, to not hog threads. If I replied to everything I found funny or agreeded with, Maude would beat me.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/30/2015 06:25PM by Beth.

If I had a dime for every post of mine that's dangled from the end of a thread like a sharp needle...

csuprovograd is absolutely right.

Only about 1 in 10 posts gets a reply. It is higher for opening posts but, even then, it is not unusual when no-one responds. Sometimes this is because the post is definitive.

It depends on who happens to be reading at the time. I've posted the same ideas here and there over the years and sometimes they get more action than I can handle, while the very same post has had zero interest at other times.

Also, sometimes you might have incited thinking and agreement but no one has the time or right words to let you know.

I have plenty of posts ignored. I've even had plenty deleted by the moderators.

It is the same for most of us. I can see two threads today i posted on that nobody either supported, commended, or disagreed with.

We're exmormons, we've spent decades living a boring life, we're slowly coming out of it, don't beat yourself up - let the TBMs do that ;)

Thanks Beth, that will be my NEW screen name "Threadkiller"!

I killed too many threads, too many times....it's not even funny!

I hope I didn't "kill" this one! :-(

confused. Like Threadkiller2 or something.

This thread lives!

I bet I've killed a lot more.

Just because someone doesn't comment on your post doesn't mean we didn't read it and that I didn't like what you had to say. That is why many people have suggested a "like" button.

But, yep, I kill threads regularly and, yes, it bothers me.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/30/2015 07:01PM by cl2.

If I can help it!

When I do comment, I thought of the OP, thinking "please ok, don't comment, I don't want this thread to die"! :-)

I hope this is is not true, but yeah. (SerialThreadkiller) that's me!

I even ignore my own posts. :-(

I thought the very same way you did when I started on this board, however, I thought about it

carefully and let me share what conclusion I came to. I've had to try hard not to project my past

negative experiences from the church and the people who have done really, really unkind things onto

this board, the here and now and onto myself as a person. I paid attention to other posters and

it's a mixed bag of personalities. Some people post something and it is virtually ignored while

others post and it practically goes viral. I've had both happen to me. I noticed that some people

know more of the posters than I do and some are brand new. Some are extremely well read, and able

to shed new light on subjects that seem stagnant or as some say "no solution". No one is boring.

The fact that you voiced your feelings in such a way shows, you being authentic and willing to take

a risk with your audience and it created a great deal of interest when I read your post. Sometimes when I

post something, I get one response, but it would be all I need to help me not implode or give up.

More than anything, however, everyone is trying to rescue themselves as well as share with other's.


Some concrete things I noticed are this:

The poster's that get the most responses usually post a question, all be it sometimes hypothetical,

it forces people out of complacency and sometimes it is something they had never heard about before.

on many occasions their question is left unfinished on the subject line, so you will automatically

click on it to find out "the rest of the story" I also noticed that until the thread gets rolling,

the poster pays attention to what is said and reflects back how it has affected them.

When people, including myself, feel like their life is in the proverbial toilet, it is hard to

reach out sometimes. This is not a reflection on the people around them. I remember several

years ago when I would go to our small mall and people from church would walk past me and not

even acknowledge me or speak. I was very offended until I went to group for awhile and

one of the people started telling how depressed and worthless they felt and didn't want to talk

to anyone that they ran into. That changed my way of looking at things.

I hope this helps. I've been where you are and I thank you sincerely for verbalizing what many

people feel, but are unable to address.

I remember I had that feeling when I first started engaging here. I’d say something in a thread, and no one would have any comment about what I said. The worst was when I commented and then it hung there as the last comment in the thread. I did wonder sometimes if I made everyone run away, or that maybe people were avoiding me personally.

Then I eventually realized how that’s just the nature of a message board. You’ll notice most other comments down the thread don’t get responded to directly either. Some threads are just a bunch of personal statements being made regarding a topic. Sometimes if you even ask a question, or make some thought provoking comment that you thought might spawn a discussion, and it just sits there as other people continue to make their own statements down the thread without responding to yours directly at all.

Don’t stop posting, you’ll get used to it. People don’t usually respond to what I say directly either, and I rarely start my own topics. That’s just the nature of a message board. Sometimes the surprise is actually when someone does comment on what you’ve said after you get used to that not happening very often. Then I never know if I should acknowledge back, or just let it end there. It could end up like one of those ‘you say goodbye, then I’ll say goodbye, no, you say goodbye first, then I’ll say goodbye last’, and on and on that goes. LOL

It's not you. It's just a different way of interacting that takes some getting used to.

I pass my original moniker, Thread Killer, on to you, in the hopes that you will begin to get lots insightful replies and you can then change to a more fancy-pants name.

P.S. Yeah, I used to be be able to kill any thread, any time, anywhere--even a Steve Benson thread! :-)

I thought SB's threads just committed hari Kari by themselves

After a decade+ on this board, I am likely Jack the Champion Threadkiller by now. Mine is often the last post on many-a-thread and then I worry, like maybe I went down a rabbit hole and and confused everybody.

Seriously though, I used to feel like it was only me that was getting ignored but then I realized most people post replies that are not specifically answered. That makes sense if you think about it.

What is worse is if you *start* a thread and nobody replies. Especially if you really were aching to have a lively discussion about your topic.

I agree with the others that have said it's just how the board works. Don't take it personally, please! And just keep on posting. Many eyes and hearts and minds are likely noticing and responding to your comments but for many reasons they don't necessarily write a specific reply.

For a lot of threads, if it is a doctrinal topic or philosophical or science-related, I don't post if I can't come up with the intellectual goods to avoid sounding stupid. Also, I refrain from replying in threads where I might get into an argument about beliefs or something like that, if I don't happen to feel like it at the time.

So, there is a lot going on for a poster that is nothing to do with who posts or what they write.

It's a good exercise for us as posters, whether repliers or thread-starters, to accept that it's not about us!

Or not usually, anyway.

When I first posted here back in 2007, I was surprised to find my post had been lightly responded to and was now on the third page!

Sometimes I've had people rudely say "ignore her" when I've posted things they don't like that repudiate their world view: my real life experience.


Yet one time I posted a heartfelt paragraph that someone said it made them tear up...it was empathy about some early church history I'd pointed out.

It still warms me to know I touched someone's inner being with a fresh perspective on what the early polygamous young brides went through.

It is not unusual to have our comments ignored or not talked about.

I wish we had a 'like' button. I hate to fill up a thread with a "like" comment, because I want to read what others have to say.


But a "like" would be very handy so we know others are reading our posts even if they are not responding to them.



Please keep posting....

Popularity is the slutty little cousin of prestige.

Or worse, they get delated!!

And just wait until you have a post deleted. Or even get a whole thread you start deleted. You get over that too, it happens.

I've never had the mods post one of those 'so and so please email the admin' subject lines about me though. I always wondered what that feels like. Oopsy daisy!

It's all good. I remember it was mostly when I hung back and only posted very occasionally. Then it was like I was making a big assertion by building up all the courage to finally speak up and say something.

Just post some more and you'll get used to the flow of things.

You know what Anon370455V, I'm not even going to reply to your silly post,

just so it will quit going to the top and will die quicker.

Stupid flanders.

just because there are no replies doesn't mean people are not reading your stuff.

Topping for more sympathy

I feel somewhat like the OP (but more life in general than this board as far as being ignored goes). A lot of the time I find myself writing a response to something, and about 9/10 times I think to myself "what is the point" and just end up not posting it. I wonder if other people sometimes feel the same way and that is why some lines of thought don't get followed...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/30/2015 10:12PM by bakagayjin.

I get really tired saying the same schpiel over and over. People will either learn or not, it's really not my job to edumucate them.

But I can't help it sometimes.

Before we left Moab, one of our friends was going into the "We didn't come from no monkeys!" line and I replied, "Yes, I know. That's not how evolution works. We came from the same family as apes and apes and monkeys are not exactly the same species."

I want to help people become more learned, but it's exhausting to do it all the time.

Well, it could be worse, Anon - you could do your best to type up thoughtful posts on weighty matters, and then they could be regularly dismissed and projected on to by a cavalcade of twit-groupies who fill up the thread (capped at thirty), thereby precluding any serious discussion, and helping turn this board into the intellectual equivalent of the FAIR board...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/30/2015 10:18PM by Tal Bachman.

Don't be that guy, Thread Wrecker. Don't be that guy.

I'm fairly certain that you could make great contributions to the FAIR board Tal...

bakagayjin

I have engaged many times with church defenders, but for the most part, it is pointless: when your interlocutors have already rejected fact and logic to begin with, by definition, you cannot have any meaningful discussion. It's like trying to play tennis against someone who rejects all the rules of tennis: whatever it is that you're actually doing, it ain't tennis.

Not that that sort of thing is unique to the FAIR board. The RFM board has its share of the same types.

Thank you for your support at this difficult time, Beth :P

I think you bring up interesting points of view and interesting topics Tal. I don’t see why people give you such a hard time. I don’t always feel qualified to contribute, but I do find your posts thoughtful and interesting to read. I hope you’re not really going through a difficult time, at least I hope not because of this board. Hang in there buddy.

My goal is to be the last poster on this thread before Admin.

decides to close it.

Please, everyone, help me accomplish this, effectively becoming a

true thread killer.

D'oh!

I don't know - I was thinking Beth, with her sexy sarcasm, deserved that honour...

QUICK BETH, POST!