Should be pretty straightforward.

No religious soliciting sign on the door.But if missionaries ignore such a sign, then open the door and show them the sign.

Is there a law against soliciting of any type when it comes to talking to minors who answer the door? There should be!!!

When parents aren't around, kids need to learn to ignore anyone at the door except close relatives or one or two agreed upon best friends.

Sell. Them. Something.

I don't feel like myself, when I'm rude. It makes me even angrier, that Mormons have the power to alter my behavior, and bring hatred into my life.

I fling the door open suddenly, and talk very loudly and rapidly. "Hey!! I'm glad you dropped by, because I'm taking donations for my nephew's campaign for congressman!" (or it could be the Red Cross disaster relief, American Cancer Society, the food bank, SPCA, etc.).

I keep brochures by the door, to shove into their hands. This gives me power. They hem and haw, to explain why they won't give me money, which puts them on the defensive. I love to watch them squirm. Then I tell them I'm in the middle of something, and have to go, and close the door.

If the missionaries or whoever it is persists, I ramble on and on, like a crazed fanatic, without letting them get a word in edgewise, telling about the congressman's record, his qualifications, his family and children. Then I say, "I really have to go now, the buzzer is buzzing.

The Mormons are relived that the conversation is over, and glad they didn't lose any money. It's win-win. I have never had the same people come back again.

You could also ask them for donations to your Democrat nephew's campaign for whatever. Your gay nephew who has just legally married his partner in whatever state he lives in.

That'll stop them.

hand them issues of the watchtower

just take off your clothes , works every time

I just answer the door naked with all my tattooed feminine glory hangin out.

I tried dousing myself in fake blood first once...in which hilarity ensued. Scared them straight....

I would have loved to have shown up the same moment as the visitors when you had the fake blood. I would have said “Oh no! Am I too late for the sacrifice? Damn! Hey, Elders, I bet g0rgone will let you join in next time, but remember: first timers have to bring the sacrificial animal.”

You must be fun on a date.

I do not answer the door when I am not expecting a caller. Works every time.

Unless you're expecting visitors, don't answer the door. Too bad if they know/think you're home. Oh well. When I lived in a country setting and the doorbell rang at 8 p.m. on a dark, cold night (cliche notwithstanding, but it wasn't stormy), my lights were on. When I checked through a window and saw it wasn't anyone I knew, nor anyone who seemed to be in extreme distress (ie, auto accident survivor or escaping a kidnapping), nor police/emergency personnel, but just a clean cut looking duo of strangers, I ignored their summons though I kept the phone nearby to dial 911 if anything indicated a burglary or home invasion attempt. They rang twice more then left. Don't know if they were VTs or missionaries and I don't care. Who puts people into such uncomfortable, subtly threatening situations? People without understanding of normal social boundaries. Such people do not deserve the courtesy from me of answering my doorbell.

Try answering the door like they did at speakeasys during prohibition except don't have a password that might work if not at least your having fun frustrating them

::::::::::::::::::paging SusieQ #1:::::::::::::::::::

Unless I'm expecting someone, I keep my door closed and locked until I verify who the caller is. And if I don't want to talk to that person, I don't open the door.

I wouldn't want to keep props by the door to dissuade Mormons. I wouldn't want to change into costumes or quickly poor a glass of wine to bring to the door. I don't want signs or devil statues in the entry.

I think honest authenticity works best. Say a clear no if that's the message you want them to hear.

My watch dog goes to the door and barks furiously. The dog has more persistence than the visitor. He will continue barking until the unwanted visitor departs.

I remember with fondness the old fashioned backdrops before all this electric mush that today passes for dazzling stage props. The recent American Idol must have had a million dollars budgeted for their flashy distractions that tend to make any squealing a #1 hit.

Bring back the simple, authentic artwork of yesteryear.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7uC5m-IRns

Oh, I know, you youngsters think I'm just an old fart yearning for simplicity and peace. Well, you got that right.

It can't return fast enough.

A good sign is

"Forget the dog

Beware of the resident.

Shotguns loaded with rock salt are scary"

In this sign nothing was said about he resident having such gun. It would all be in the mind of the reader!!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/25/2015 01:32PM by thedesertrat1.

Tell them what they can do with their Book of Mormon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0p4_GGDbS0

I'm pretty sure that's from Orgazmo.

Still funny, though. If it wasn't there's an extremely similar scene in it. I haven't seen it for years so I can't quite remember

When I have had persistent, inappropriate, rude contact from LDS Folks, (missionaries, for instance) I use my Front Door Sign and watch them read it. It's priceless. I used this when nothing else worked. One posting - one reading - and bingo. Success! :-)

My Door Sign to keep the Mormons away.
Once they read it, it spreads through the Mormon Grape Vine like wild fire, which is what I counted on. :-) This will stop the request for "No Contact" which does not work well with the Mormons, or even Resignation that is not respected and contact is made.


NOTICE:

I am under no obligation to:
avoid all loud laughter,
lightmindedness,
evil speaking of the lords anointed
or any other impure or unholy practice

Enter at you own risk
Rachel, My New Name

(Big Smiley Face here!)

I put it on the inside of the window in my door then I watched the Mormons that came to my door read it! It was priceless. Only needed to use it once.

For those that have been to the temple, this statement is from The Law of the Gospel, one of the temple covenants. As the temple is so sacred it is not to be discussed, seeing this statement on a door can be quite a shock! And humorous to observe the reader.

Law of the Gospel: We are required to give unto you the Law of the Gospel as contained in the Holy Scriptures; to give unto you also a charge to avoid all lightmindedness, loud laughter, evil speaking of the Lord's anointed, the taking of the name of God in vain, and every other unholy and impure practice, and to cause you to receive these by covenant.

REST HERE:
http://www.lds4u.com/lesson5/templecovenants.htm

Yupperz... that's the one!

Thanx,SusieQ!

Missionaries stopped by about 6 months ago. Started asking them exactly what they were going to do in the celestial kingdom. They didn't have a good idea. Told them the only thing I might want was polygamy and lots of sex, but the wife isn't too thrilled about that. Otherwise I'd rather work on the farm, so the lower kingdoms are just fine with me.

Related my years as EQP trying to get guys to home teach. Explained that most members really don't like church stuff, so why do it for eternity?

Also shared stories of failed inspiration and failed blessings, and the stake president who was caught soliciting a minor for sex, etc. Good dose of reality.

Anyway, they haven't been back. Will probably be another 5 years, as it was before them.

between us and the front porch. I'm never afraid to open the front door to see who is there.

The missionaries have learned, after YEARS of patient tutoring, to call and ask for an appointment before coming over. And my DH, the only remaining member (inactive) in the household, has learned to be very assertive with them. It was a revelation to him that one CAN say "no" to these intruders!

He will say something like, "Well, this week is out, but next Thursday would probably work. Would that work for you guys?"

When a gang of "adults" (like the bishop, the stake president, and Heaven knows who else) appears on the porch, just look at them blankly, and ask, "Oh. Were we expecting you?"

Of course, they hem and haw and shuffle their feet, and come up with something like, "We are visiting people in the neighborhood. . ." I cut them off and say, "Sorry, this isn't a good time. But thanks for stopping by." And I shut the door.

We haven't had many of those in a long time. I guess their fragile egos can't handle rejection.

my husband once told them he's a Tetragrammaton cleric (Equilibrium) and if they were ready to learn the way of the Gun Kata. We had a good chuckle with how quickly they backed away from the door. No uninvited visitors since.

I don't answer the door. If people want to see me. They need to call ahead. Almost everyone had a cell phone. I was taught you should always call someone before going over to their house.

My dogs would alert us to someone driving on the property first and then I would step outside and we'd have a chat. I would ask them what they want and then after them saying anything about the cult I would order them to leave....but being as nobody from the ward has been here since we ran off the home teachers 30+ years ago, I ain't too worried.

Ron Burr

Open the door a crack, put your right hand out, and ask "What is wanted?"

"What are the principal similarities and differences between Judaism and Islam?"

"What, you don't know? You said you were a missionary. Where did you study? And they had no studies on major world religions?"

"Come back when you're prepared"