the who LDS thing now.

He grew up as a perfect LDS boy: Eagle Scout, mission, temple marriage, etc. Since the CES revelations, his faith has been shattered.

His buddies at work have been inviting him to join them for a beer and burger after work, and he has finally begun to go out with them. (His work hours are very late, so it's not like he is missing supper with his family.) He doesn't particularly care for the taste of beer, and he is always very careful to wait for at least a couple of hours for it to absorb into his bloodstream before attempting to drive home, but he no longer feels guilty about it.

What a change. . .

His wife is still TBM?

This is a shattering experience for them. They have built their entire lives around the church. All of their friends and social activities revolve around "the ward."

Our son is very careful about having a single beer (or not even finishing that one,) having food with it, and then giving it time to process through his system so there won't be any chance about DWI. He is, and always has been, very law-abiding.

He and his wife are shattered by the new "revelations." Their feeling is that "If they lied about A, and lied about B, what ELSE have they lied about? What do we believe now?"

They aren't sure how to adapt. Leave the church? Become "New Order Mormons?" It is very upsetting for them.

How wonderful for him that his wife is on the journey with him! This sounds like a happy story in spite of the pain of not knowing what to do.

Sounds like both husband and wife are on the same page.

The pain and confusion your son feels now will subside as they both transition out of the church. If his wife was still in, then life typically sucks, and doesn't get better....

My wife and I are in the exact same situation. Mostly because of what direction we want our family to go. We both believe they need structure and direction, just haven't figured it out. The teens decided they were out a year or more ago. They were scared to tell us.

Is this more of a drinking and driving concern, or that your son has found his way out of the LDS thicket of trees and can now see the forest for what it is?
Realizing ones own agency and freedom to choose for themselves is a very powerful and liberating gift. It's a good thing.

Sounded quite the opposite to a Drinking and riving concern. The OP said her son waits an appropriate time after a couple of beers to be able to drive within the law.

I hope he lives a happy non-Mormon life in the real world.

The burger and beer thing is great for recovering Mormons. One beer does the job and then the burger is so yummy.

He should know that recovery is a long process. There's a lot more to learn than just the CES letter. But in the end it's totally worth it.

YAY! It makes me happy to hear about others breaking the illusion! :D

Hey, a root beer is just as satisfying with a burger.

No guilt or wussiness there.

Chicken N. Backpacks Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hey, a root beer is just as satisfying with a
> burger.
>
You are only speaking as a man, not a prophet with a statement like that. ;o)

That's not a man!

It's a trap!!!

LOL

Chicken N. Backpacks Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hey, a root beer is just as satisfying with a
> burger.
>
> nope...

not even close.

Apparently I've had too many In'N'Out burgers while driving down the road, and my judgement is blurred....

Burgers should be

1) Grilled not fried;

2) Plump not dessicated;

3) Medium or medium rare, not burnt to a crisp;and

4) more than half an ounce like In n Out ones. At least 4oz - 6-8 would be best.

So yes, you have eaten too many if you've had more than one. ;-)

Good shakes though.

First point I made to my kids is that I still believe in God and Jesus Christ. TSCC is NOT God and Jesus Christ.

Making this obvious point will help. For many kids raised in the church they cannot make the disconnect. They've been indoctrinated with the mantra "the gospel" to mean God and the church. Not the same in fact.

I know many people may be down on God and Jesus Christ. I get that, but for young LDS people trying to make a break the best thing we can do is help them hold on to God and Christ.

At a minimum believing in a creator and/or the TEACHINGS of Jesus Christ is a good thing.

The biggest nightmare of current church leaders are young people who say this:

"Hey I believe in God and Jesus Christ. I just don't believe Joseph Smith was a prophet, or that the church is what it claims to be."

If that MANTRA gets rolling watch out you junior members of the Quorum of 15. You're going to spend the next 25 years of your life on the fucking hot seat, and you may be BEGGING for emeritus status. Playing golf up in Deer Valley will be a better alternative than defending the indefensible.

Doubting Thomas said,"I know many people may be down on God and Jesus Christ. I get that, but for young LDS people trying to make a break the best thing we can do is help them hold on to God and Christ.

At a minimum believing in a creator and/or the TEACHINGS of Jesus Christ is a good thing.

I respect your opinion, but I disagree. Once you see through the BS may I think you are better off to dump the whole myth. All my kids are out and atheist like me. We are all happier that we can live life for us not a (we believe) mythical God being with no evidence he/she/it exists.

> I respect your opinion, but I disagree. Once you
> see through the BS may I think you are better off
> to dump the whole myth. All my kids are out and
> atheist like me. We are all happier that we can
> live life for us not a (we believe) mythical God
> being with no evidence he/she/it exists.



My sentiments!

My kids were out before me (and my husband is now well on his way! FINALLY). Out of the 9, only 3 believe in a god... the rest are self-proclaimed athiests.

thorn Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I respect your opinion, but I disagree. Once you
> see through the BS may I think you are better off
> to dump the whole myth. All my kids are out and
> atheist like me. We are all happier that we can
> live life for us not a (we believe) mythical God
> being with no evidence he/she/it exists.

I agree. What "works" for different people differs, and asserting that continued "belief" is the "best" is not going to work for everyone.

For me, ditching "belief" and doing research to distinguish what's factually demonstrable from believed without evidence worked. I didn't want or need to "replace" mormon supernatural belief with some other supernatural belief -- I wanted and needed to ground myself in facts.

If changing to more mainstream christian belief worked for you, great. Please don't assert it's the best or only way to recover from mormonism. It's not.

IMHO that is the worst thing about Mormonism. It makes God and Jesus so unappealing that so exmormons don't want to have anything to do with God when they leave.

As I see it, and I may be reading the survey wrong, but it is the Christian communities that are unappealed with their faith. Jesus leads many Mormons out, but Allah sets them free. The Tao puts all the anthropomorphic deities to shame. IMO


http://www.pewforum.org/2015/05/12/americas-changing-religious-landscape/

I just wanted to say it before someone else did.

You may see it as something bad, but I consider it a blessing in disguise. I think it's best that the lies are laid in so hard with Mormonism that the shelf comes crashing down so hard it shatters all of them - both the (relatively) new Joseph's Myth as well as the older ones it was built off of. There is so much religion-inspired hate in this world, the Mo's are only the tip of a very big iceberg.

May everyone who gets out of Mormonism and all organized religion look to evidence rather than myth for their understanding, morality, sense of self, and responsibility. There is no need to believe you are under surveillance and under the threat of hell to be good. Just be good to be good.

yah, its a big let down when a person has been emulating the LD$ model for life in order to please god and a person then suddenly discovers that MORmONISM was founded by a complete wretch of a human being. Realizing that Joe Smith NEVER really saw god explains a lot about how so very few others have been able to do it, even if it is dis appointing in other ways. But life does get better after a person gets off the MORmON tread mill and does not have to do all the MORmON mental gymnastics.

My grandpa's home made root beer had at least as much alcohol as does wine..... yummy!

It's been 30+ years since I've had home brewed.

Haven't done much research, but how do you get started? I really miss the old brew!

For my sister, it was more finding out about the BoA being just a funeral text. Then she found other things. She was already struggling with the idea that she wasn't praying the right prayers (her's weren't being answered the way she needed/expected), But, finding out that information had been "hidden" shook her to her core.

I have to admit, I was a lot jealous. She didn't have any intimidation about announcing she was "OUT" because my brother and his kids, and I and my kids were already openly 'out' and she had a safety net.

As for the drinking part, well, my kids didn't have a problem trying different things. And, were my safety net when my doctors told me I had to start drinking wine. I really enjoy going for a drink with my kids!