Anyone can create standards - even if they don't own a home.
A kid who owns no home can require his parents to treat her with respect if they ever want to see or talk to her again. She can even make the rule while living at home and let the parents know that a single violation of her rule and the parents will be forever shunned.
"Standards" might include cooking dinner or cleaning the house, or running errands. Things related to your providing them with a place to stay. Religious participation is not related and cannot be imposed on you by anyone if you are over a certain age and they have any morals at all.
whywait Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Any adult, however, can set standards for who, and > especially other adults, lives in the home. Those > standards can include religious participation.
Sure, they *can.* But SHOULD they? Will trying to force kids to attend a church make them want to be a part of it? Or will it just alienate them from both church and parents?
Sorry, but any parent who sets "standards" for "religious participation" is missing the point entirely. They're only interested in forcing young individuals to conform to their own wishes and expectations, not in producing thinking, responsible, intelligent adults who can make their own good decisions.
"You can lead a horse to water, but you cant make him drink."
I've had this discussion several times in GD, and EQ, with other parents of teenage children who argue that God has made it their responsibility to see that their chidren are raised in the gospel, attend all meetings, and are taught "true and correct" principles. Even if that means "dragging them kicking and screaming to church".
I tried asserting the point that once kids reach an age and maturity level to take care of themselves without a babysitter, they should have the option to choose for themselves to be an active, church going member.
I wanted my kids to love the gospel (at the time), not dread having to attend church. To love God, and learn he loved them. Not the family drama and fighting that I knew took place in other homes trying to get teenage kids out of bed early on a Sunday morning.
As far as adult children staying/living in our home, The same principle would apply. What religious nut-jobs enforce in their homes is up to them. That is if they like to have an adult relationship with their kids at some point.
TBMs-raised children only have a 40% chance of remaining TBMs in adulthood. Even the brainwashing of primary and the peer pressure of YM/YW only keeps 2 children in a family of 5 in the church.
I've seen many Mormons abdicate their parental responsibility to TSCC. The thinking seems to be that as long as the kids are attending all church activities then all is well and there is no need to pay attention beyond that.
I can't believe that if someone pays your bills, people believe they actually have the right, even as an adult, to determine something as deeply personal as religious/spiritual activity, which is effectively lying-- participating in something that may go against your beliefs, your sexuality, or that you know to be a sham. I cannot wrap my head around the fact that people really consider that appropriate, as if you have some sort of ownership over someone because they help you with money. I honestly find that morally repugnant.
If the age of accountability is 8 years, and we have "free agency", then any children of LDS people MUST have the opportunity to be baptized and attend OR NOT.
Otherwise it is spiritual coercion, which was Satan's plan according to Mormonism.
She forced her kids to go to church even when they were being treated poorly. They all are exmormons, married outside of mormonism, etc. All rebelled big time considering how they were raised.
They are all productive members of society and their marriages have lasted.
My nephew was here with his wife and she said something about she felt that she should expose her children to some religion. He said, "You take them then. I've served my sentence."
Go ahead, parents. Force religion and church on your children. This must be why the non religious section of society keeps increasing. Nothing like forced religion to leave a delightful taste in the mouth.
It makes sense that if parents got the luxury of deciding what religion to be, then so do kids. Would parents like to be forced into a certain religion? If not, what makes them think it would be ok to do that to kids?
Unfortunately I do think parents have the right to force religion on their kids. This doesn't mean the kids will believe it, by they might be forced to go to services, seminary, etc.
I am forcing religion on my kids. We don't go to church. We have a rule that if a minor in my care choses to join a religion they have to jump through lots of hoops before we will allow it. This is my way of forcing critical thinking on my kids. To join a religion the child will be required to live for a year as if they were a member of the faith, before they are babtized. So if daughter wants to join mormonism she will be required to stay home while we go out to our traditional lunch on Sunday. She would have to read all of the scriptures, and basically write a book report on them. I will test her and she has to pass. She has to learn the milk and the meat before baptism. She will have to read the transripts of what happens in the temple and watch the video, she will need to explain to me why she believes this religion is more true than others.