When I was married 32 years ago, it was bad enough that my own mother could not attend the temple. She was an active member but my stepfather was not a member so she could not have her endowments out--the church would not let her.

When my daughter was married, my 15 year old son was not allowed to go to her wedding in the temple even though he was very active in the church. He had to wait outside with the kids.

Now my oldest daughter is going to get married and I cannot go to the temple and be there with her because I am not a member anymore.

My friends at work were horrified! They could not believe that my own mother was not at my own wedding and that I cannot attend my daughter's wedding!

How on earth does that promote family? Only people who have temple recommends will be together in the next life--according to the church?!!!

Whenever I hear the slogan, "families are forever," it makes me gag! That is about the furthest thing from the truth in TSSC!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/02/2015 11:49AM by happyfeet.

Exactly!

the chasm in All things between their claims/sayings & RL is like the Grand Canyon of (LDS) Faith.


I believe that children need to attend weddings to 'think forward' about their own lives and to think in terms of social continuity, & community. The Morg denies them this in their rules of splitting lives.

Then there's the accommodation that they allow a TBM spouse to divorce a NOM/'apostate' spouse by twisting their applications of Love, Kindness, & Honesty (referring to non-abusive, non-adulterous situations).

Mormonism exists for the church and not the members. It's cases like yours that prove this is a fact of life.

Sorry you have to tolerate such bullsh!t. I got out prior to marriage so our and our daughters' marriage were witnessed and celebrated by ALL our family (including some TBMs), friends, and co-workers.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/02/2015 12:07PM by Templar.

when is the break for middle-aged couples who join/get sealed to have their 'older' children sealed to them without the children 'going thru'?
Isn't there an age where adults & older teens can't attend without a TR?


those anomalies only occur when your 'faith' system is based around BS.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/02/2015 12:28PM by GNPE.

Families are Forever has to be one of the best marketing tools ever created! Many times if you ask members why they stay, it's because they believe families are forever. It's one emotional bonding concept which brings many people into the church especially if you've lost someone close to you.

But, how does it really work in TSCC?
Are you with your children and their spouses?
Are you with your parents and siblings?
Are you with divorced parents?
Are you with divorced spouse?
Are you with in-laws and ex-laws?
Are you confused?

With all the dirty history of the church this is one slogan that might give TSSC some credibility to anyone uneducated with the teachings. It sounds wonderful and idyllic but, it's complete nonsense!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/02/2015 01:34PM by frackenmess.

I always wonder, what if you don't like your family? Or you don't get along with certain members of the family? You going to spend eternity with them? Yea,, right...

I think that for some people who grew up in abusive households or who were molested by a relative, the thought of spending eternity with them is more like hell, not heaven.

It could only happen against my will. I'd have to be put in one of those Star Trek thrall collars.

If a family was together forever it has nothing to do with this moment and everything to do with this moment, right now.

So when Mormon people go around spouting that it's forever say isn't now part of forever?

They'll say you have to do Temple junk.

I'd say live in the moment [full] - fool.

Eternity doesn't start in a minute and it didn't start when you had that false ceiling either.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/02/2015 02:49PM by moremany.

moremany said:

"isn't now part of forever?"

Excellent point.

Families are together forever.....except for you.....you.....and you.

Let's face it. Not everyone is going to make it so you might as well start ignoring them now.

News Flash: Families have been around as long as there's been civilization, and that was well before and up to bleeping Mormonism junk religion.

The size and shape of families may continue to morph and evolve, but people will continue to reproduce and form families now and in the future outside of Mormon junk religion.

And are probably lots closer by comparison than this nonsense of excluding loved ones from their own children's weddings.

Just more proof of the cult that it has always been. I hate that church for the damage it does to families in general, and for trying to coin the idea that families are "forever" or "together forever;" because that most certainly did not start or end with junk religion.

Let's hope with the strength of the numbers that are growing who leave that cult behind, we will become a voice like a light in the dark to those who stay behind.

It's a damn shame what it does to families in the name of holy.

CAN BE... Too often the CAN is left out, but it is the most important word. It denotes the need to follow all the Mormon doctrines that qualify one to be in the highest degree of the Celestial Kingdom.

"The family is the most important unit in time and in eternity and as such, transcends every other interest in life." (Howard W. Hunter, Ensign - November 1994)


at least that's their Claim.
RL is a different story, however.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/03/2015 12:18AM by GNPE.

There's that "R" word again. No thanks. I don't obey stupid rules.

RB

MORmONISM: holding families hostage in eternity (Over stupid secret handshakes) since the 1840's

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LA_Eusla4o

I've seen some members treat their children appallingly but they never miss an opportunity on facebook to post how much they love them and say they are so glad they will be together forever. Poor kids.

The policy in the US of having a civil marriage first and having to wait a year after to be sealed is flat out destructive to families. And the church is inconsistent because that policy isn't in the UK. It isn't based on revelation and Spencer W. Kimball pushed it with scare tactics but he didn't even do it. He was married in a civil wedding and went to the temple after without waiting a year. The one single, simple thing that the church could do to improve family relations for non-LDS family members and relatives is to end that bullshit policy of the one year wait after a civil marriage.

I sort of feel like if you truly want your family to be a part of your wedding, and you value your family over the church, you should have no issue waiting a year to be sealed. I feel like in the case of couples who decide not to do that, they really are so sucked into the church they somehow feel like it would make them "less than" to do it that way.

siflbiscuit Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I sort of feel like if you truly want your family
> to be a part of your wedding, and you value your
> family over the church, you should have no issue
> waiting a year to be sealed. I feel like in the
> case of couples who decide not to do that, they
> really are so sucked into the church they somehow
> feel like it would make them "less than" to do it
> that way.

I think there are good reasons to wait, in addition to the joy of having everyone who loves you present when you say "I do".

Waiting a year allows a couple to know each other so much better and to concentrate on spiritual unity without the exhaustion of a busy wedding day, worry over the details of the reception, and the nervous anticipation of having sex for the first time. Plus no bad feelings or guilt about excluding your family. Seems like a win until you factor in the cultural dismissal of your marrying the wrong way and the assumption that you weren't worthy.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/05/2015 06:26AM by caedmon.

Maybe they don't use the fear anymore but they used to. We were told that if one or both of us died during that one year wait, that there was no guarantee that even if we were sealed by proxy that it would work. God would not be mocked they said. Spencer W. Kimball told a BS story about a young couple that it happened to and they would not be together forever because they didn't do it right the first time.

michaelm (not logged in) Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Maybe they don't use the fear anymore but they
> used to. We were told that if one or both of us
> died during that one year wait, that there was no
> guarantee that even if we were sealed by proxy
> that it would work. God would not be mocked they
> said. Spencer W. Kimball told a BS story about a
> young couple that it happened to and they would
> not be together forever because they didn't do it
> right the first time.

Yep. And my mother drilled it into me that getting married first civilly was disrespectful of god, of mocking the temple ceremony, of a lack of faith, of disobedience. Downright antidisestablishmentarianism.

Funny that God doesn't seem to regard it as disrespectful when a couple marries in the UK.

I'm very sorry you will be excluded. It's so wrong in a myriad of ways. Your daughter will realize she should have been with you before her ceremony. She may not admit it, but it will hit her, like a ton of bricks.

Someone said they rush the brides around like some kind of race. I wonder if it's so they don't have time to think and realize how freakishly wrong and how bizarre it is (and many have missing family members...)

I was maid of honor in 4 Mormon weddings. Maid of honor of the parking lot, or hotel, or babysitting... The last time, excluded with the bride's own father, I swore I would never be in a Mormon wedding reception again.

Know that we understand some of your pain and know how sadistic Mormonism really is. Of course you're still supposed to pay for everything... You just can't attend. Crazy!
((Hugs))

I do not understand why ex-Mormon parents simply refuse to pay for weddings that they are not allowed to attend.

That would get the attention of ungrateful children real fast. What child would make wedding arrangements that purposely disallow a loving parent and siblings to attend? And why do parents put up with that bullshit?

I've dealt with my issues over it. What I want the lds people to know is that I CHOOSE not to be there. I'm not against my daughter choosing to get married where she wants to. I will be there to support her in every way that I can in her life because she is mine. She is NOT their's, as much as they'd like to believe otherwise.

When push comes to shove, she needs her mom no matter what all the mormon people do.

I will be at my parents' grave, 1 mile away from the temple. I do believe my parents would choose to be with me if they were still alive. I was rather shocked when my over the top TBM aunt said she wanted to be with me at the grave. I asked her to please go and represent me. Only my sister and my aunt will be there from my family. The rest of my family is not mormon any longer including all the grandchildren.

Myself, I was so devout, but all my friends and my sister just 17 months older than I am, got married before me. I was not allowed to attend their weddings.

Near as I can tell, my mom believes she'll be going back to live with her parents after she dies and that she won't see any of her children or her spouse again for all eternity.

Kind of explains how well she "loves" us in this dispensation - which she does try to do - but still manages to keep us at an arm's length when it comes to any genuine intimacy or interpersonal vulnerability.

I have some new words for that sickly-sweet Primary hymn:

Families can be fucked over forever
Through Joseph Smith's sick plan
I always want to fear for my own family
And Joe's lies have shown me how I can
Joe's lies have shown me how I can!

My theory is if Mormons think you won't be at their "level" in the celestial kingdom, they barely give you the time of day, even family. It is a creepy, cold way to operate in the world, and the explanation doesn't make it any less hurtful...

The quote from GNPE should be:

"The family is the most important unit in time and in eternity and as such, transcends every other interest in life. [God will not allow his church to issue you the sealing ordinance, to be a forever family, UNLESS YOU PAY US FIRST.]" (Howard W. Hunter, Ensign - November 1994)