I know some of you might not approve, but I'm not here for approval, but to invite you to join me as the prodigal son at the banquet of the Lord. Sure, catching up on years of tithing won't be easy, and I might lose a few of my friends. I might not have time to do all the worldly things I enjoyed, but the truth is that serving in the Kingdom is all the satisfaction I, or any true son or daughter of God, truly needs. Besides, postum isn't all that bad. Now you might be wondering why the sudden broken heart and contrite spirit. Well, Brethren and Sistren, I've spent much time in humble prayerful supplication. I knocked and He opened the door. I asked and received in abundance. I inquired of the Lord if going back was his will, and I got this burning in the bosom. I was pretty sure it wasn't just the chimichurros I had for dinner, but I plead on my knees for a great while for just one more confirmations. Now, I know some of you will say I'm crazy, but in the early hours of the morning in the still, cool spring air before dawn, an Angel appeared unto me in glorious vision. His vesture was white as snow and his countenance bigther than the sun, and with a thuderous voice roaring as the sound of many waters he spake unto me thus: Happy April Fools' Day!
If I had to live with the likes of BKKKP and ETB, then count me out of Mormon "Heaven". The CK is for people who like MoTab and Priesthood session, serving in the temple and watching the Disney Channel.
You'll recognize me right away. I'll be wearing a stylish denim jumper, which is what Godly wimmins wear. I'm a little hunched over from bowing my head so much and submitting to my holy husband. My many children will all be following me.