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Posted by: rt ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 06:58AM

A penis, obviously.

Other than that, the types I remember who made stake, mission or temple president, or area authority, generally were the corporate-career-type a-holes.

Am I generalizing too much here?

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Posted by: axeldc ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 07:52AM

1) You must be conformist. Ask the right questions, not the wrong ones. Dress like an IBM employee. Your main vice should be watching too much BYU sports. Your wife should look and act like an Osmon, and your kids should too.

2) Having Mormon royalty helps a lot. Having the right last name and a regional or SLC authority as your uncle or grandfather helps a lot.

3) Have a job that pays well, gives you plenty of time for church service, and doesn't require your wife to work. Dentist is good. Professor, except at BYU, is too intellectual. Corporate exec used to be good, but corporate America expects people to work 60 hours a week now.

4) Do lots of visible church service. Turn in 100% HT, fulfill your calling to the max. Doing non-visible charity won't help you. Make sure the Bishop and SP know you are always available to help out as needed.

5) Have the right resume: seminary, BYU, RM, married by 25 in the temple.

Beyond that, it's luck and connections.

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Posted by: Heartless ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 08:46AM

J Golden Kimball said there were two ways to be called as a general authority. Revelation and relation and if he hadn't been Heber C Kimball's relation, he'd never been a general authority.

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Posted by: amywho ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 10:20AM

Picture a ladder that's cut off in the middle, and the top half is missing.

That's about as far as 99.999% of any mormons will travel "up" the up ladder to corporate success in mormon religion.

After you reach the halfway mark, ie, bishop, stake president, regional this or that.. there isn't anywhere else to move up to.

And back down ye'll go soon enough.

It's a corporate hierarchy, oligarchy, and dictatorship rolled into one. It probably does help to be related to someone. But even those with connections are likely to never see the light of day inside church office space.

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Posted by: axeldc ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 10:23AM

SP must be the worst gig. You are responsible for 2000 souls, have to oversee 4-8 bishops, and yet you get no compensation. You have to work your regular FT job, and then answer to Mormon leaders who are all paid for their work.

Getting to be a 70 and you start getting paid. They don't work for a living, other than church work. You get to travel on the church's dime and push around volunteers like they were your employees.

The SP is just the highest ranking volunteer in the church. Above him are paid clergy, and below him are thousands of people wanting his time and attention.

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Posted by: Cowboy Jack ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 10:39AM

In LeGrand Richard's opinion, it didn't matter. The wisest thing I ever heard when I was active in the church in regards to what's important in the church was when he said, "Everything above a Bishop is just talk!"

He felt that the work of the church was done in the wards and everything else was just unnecessary fluff.

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Posted by: axeldc ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 02:24PM

My point is that SP is the highest unpaid position in the church. His superiors get healthy "stipends" and expense accounts. He gets to do all that church work while holding down a paying FT job himself.

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Posted by: Chump ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 03:43PM

I think area authority 70 is the highest unpaid calling.

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Posted by: rt ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 12:17PM

amywho Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Picture a ladder that's cut off in the middle, and
> the top half is missing.

That's a good picture; I was thinking about the lower half when I wrote my post.

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Posted by: Chump ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 11:28AM

Only one requirement: pay LOTS of tithing consistently over many years. I've never had a stake president that wasn't very well off. I've known a few area authorities and all were very wealthy. As others have mentioned, any higher than that and you have to have some connection...related to a GA, former stake president of an apostle, connections to important people in gov't, etc...

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Posted by: Amywho ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 11:38AM

Maybe this is why the old geezers work until they croak, because they don't have a 401k as they live off the contributions of members.

They work until they die, the old farts keep collecting their hefty salaries right up to the morgue!

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Posted by: ConcernedCitizen ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 12:02PM

...you either have to be a sadistic dentist, or, be a "Double Diamond Direct" in some sort of Utah-based MLM swindle.

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Posted by: tig ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 12:19PM

There are three great tions by which individuals are called to positions of authority in this church: inspiration, desperation, and relation. Of those the latter is the most significant.

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Posted by: Exmointexas ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 12:25PM

My ex-FIL (now deceased) was a GA (president of church-owned college) a long time ago and got his church career started as a seminary teacher, institute teacher, being pals with GAs, bishop, etc, getting a phD, keeping in touch with 'elite' Mormons, making friends with 'elite Mormons' and finally getting a position/calling/whatever (hey, if they have to 'set you apart' for it what the hell is it?) as this college president.

Bottom line: It's an old boy's club.

That doesn't drink. I don't think.

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Posted by: Exmointexas ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 12:26PM

Oh yeah - he grew up in SLC. That helps.

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Posted by: scmd ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 03:12PM

luck, connections, FAMILY connections, and ideally wealth on top of that; beyond that, to get into the system, one needs to have offspring who appear to have a low chance of straying, though once one is in the Q12, anything can happen with one's posterity and it won't interfere with one's natural succession

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Posted by: Ex-Sister Sinful Shoulders ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 05:09PM

Nepotism, wealth, RM, scriptorians...

Combo platter bonus:

Law degree (defense practice)
Second language
Charismatic speaker/Paul Dunn types
Real military service (flying planes/helicopters)
PR/international business experience (presidential press secretary type defense/debate skill)
Successful shady real estate deals
Proven track record of defending the church/brethren (LIE)
(Angry pulpit pounding when required)

Trophy wife, educated but 99% silent (quiver birther)

*decent toupee and dental work

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Posted by: Hmmm... ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 05:16PM

With the exception of a few PC placements, the most important thing is the appropiate information on one's birth certificate.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 05:21PM

rt Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> A penis, obviously.

And a vagina/beard.

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Posted by: Richard the Bad ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 05:34PM

Much the same as in any corporation. You have to supply your own knee pads and chapstick.

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Posted by: Jonny the Smoke ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 06:00PM

A whole lot of ignorance and a very short ladder.

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Posted by: Just Browsing ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 06:16PM

1. Never ask difficult questions!!
2. Never think outside the box !!!
3. Never quote dead Prophets !!!!
4. Always say YES !!!!!
5. Make sure your kids stay on the straight and narrow.!!!!!!

6. PAY PRAY AND OBEY !!!!!!!!

I could not adhere to any of those concepts

That is why my Stake President said I would never amount to anything in the Church

JB

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Posted by: lemmie ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 06:31PM

I've been wondering, Is BIC required?

And does anyone know at what level, if any, is divorce a deal breaker?

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Posted by: Inky ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 08:04PM

I heard that if you have been divorced you can never be a bishop.

To hold a higher calling you need $$$$
My SP family member earns $1m+ a year. He's also loyal to the cult. It seems like the only requirements really.

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Posted by: ohnevermo ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 07:18PM

Chapstick?

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 07:49PM

BIC? Divorce a deal breaker?

Excellent questions. Bump1

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Posted by: ladell ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 08:11PM

Some have intangible qualities such as the Rock Star looks of Dieter, and his international flair. Basically anything that moves you up the ladder of any multinational corporation.

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Posted by: scmd ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 08:25PM

It used to be to rise in the lower half, you just had to appear to be a good person and be a relatively good speaker, but now a solid business or professional job is needed as well, and generally your wife shouldn't work.

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Posted by: NormaRae ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 09:42PM

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

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Posted by: Ansel666 ( )
Date: April 01, 2015 09:53PM

I had a Bishop who had been divorced. It's probably not common but not a deal breaker either.

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