I am still having meetings with the missionaries. Along with another male member living in town. The two missionaries are super nice and really cool guys, thats why I like them. And because this is a very small town, and I dont have many friends.

Obviously, they are wanting me to read and attend church. I have "started over" so many times in this church..I dont want to do it again. I still read my Bible, because I still am a Christian. And I do read from KJV. *Sometimes* I read my BoM, but I am not sure if that is purely out of habit, or what.

This kid is a nice kid, and I do like him. But I need to know why I like him. He does bear a strong resemblance to an ex, I just made that connection last night. Perhaps that is it. He's not Peter Priesthood, which I love.

prior thread

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1532277,1532277#msg-1532277

Girl, I just read your prior thread.

If you're 28, and tempted by a 22-year-old, you don't need the Book of Mormon.

You need sex.

Excuse me if that sounds crude, but I've been there, too.

Right around the time I joined the church, I was tempted by a younger man (a 21-year-old nevermo). He was smitten with me, and I'm so thankful now that I didn't give in. (If the Mormon church did one good thing for me, my adherence to the Law of Chastity helped steer me from that temptation.)

Men aren't the only ones who will seek out younger prey. Under the right (or wrong!!) circumstances, women do it, too.

We all have physical needs. If you don't address them, you can do stupid, even predatory things.

Buy yourself a good vibrator, and an erotica book. And tune out all that silliness about "self-abuse".

Pursuing this boy is a greater self-abuse than buttering your own muffin.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/22/2015 09:30PM by godtoldmetorun.

I wrote this up, then held off. But I may as well post it.

I remember your previous threads.

You’re just teasing yourself by continuing to interact with them, you know. It’s like being a reformed alcoholic, and thinking you can hang out in the bar with your old friends and never be tempted to pick up a drink. You need to stop driving yourself crazy like this and just cut it off. That’s what I think.

I’d say cut it out and stay away from these mishies. Mormonism seems to exact a way bigger toll than a little loneliness will. If you were a guy, I might even say to just jerk off and release those hormones. Afterwards, you might say, “My god, what did I almost just do?”

Honey, DON'T.

Look, I've been there.

Not with a missionary, but with a member around my own age. (30 at the time)

He was nice. Or so it seemed. I also know that he liked me, too. He also didn't seem to play the Peter Priesthood part. I liked him because he was the only guy in my ward who seemed sincere, and wasn't an overtly arrogant tool.

He showed a completely different side when I left the church. Right after I resigned, I confessed to him my feelings for him.

He wasn't man enough to tell me flat out that his first love is the Mormon Church. He chose to do it in a crueler, more deceptive way.

Look, honey, I converted to the Mormon church at age 28. I was lonely, hated my new job and the place I was. I joined the Mormon church out of loneliness and a feeling of emptiness that only I could fill by making a real change in my life.

If your guy is a Mormon missionary, he's probably more of a Peter Priesthood than you think. If he's giving two years of his life to the Mormon Church, the church has its hooks into him deep.

Not even your love and affection are a match for the manipulation he is a victim of.

If you seek community and friendship in a religious setting, there are so many different church congregations you can check out. I go to a United Methodist church that is in better alignment with my values as a Christian and feminist. (Female clergy, LGBT friendly, very focused on social justice.)

And girl, let me tell you, there are cute and absolutely wonderful men in those places who don't have the kind of baggage that your guy does.

True story: My current boyfriend is Methodist. He was a seminarian. I met him at a Halloween party. I didn't find out until the second date that we go to the same Methodist church (he usually went to the evening services, and I went to the morning). That wouldn't be such a big coincidence, except that I live in Chicago, and we have more Methodist churches than Wal-Marts.

ex in champaign Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I have "started over" so many times in this church...I dont want to do it again.

So, don't do it again. It really is up to you. If you don't take control of your life, someone else (or in this case, the Mormon church) will gladly do it for you.

> ...I need to know why I like him...He's not Peter Priesthood, which I love.

He *is* an active Mormon, however. If you don't want to be a Mormon, don't marry a Mormon. I agree with Godtoldmetorun, find another church. Try out the Methodists, the ELCA Lutherans, the Presbyterians, the Episcopalians, the UUs, and others. You will meet nice people, one of whom might be a good match for you.

Look, it's not at all unusual to crush on a man who in the end would not be a good match for you. Many of us have done just that. I've done it several times myself, once for a prolonged period of time. That's why your head needs to be in the game just as much as your heart.

Are you in Champaign, Illinois?

Was. Can be if there is am exmo meeting/support group. Are you?

Many of these guys have girlfriends/fiancees at home. They tend to omit that tiny detail with a potential baptism.

Why are you attracted to such a young guy? You may want to ask yourself a few more questions... because you are in for a world of hurt if you pursue him. His true love is a corporation.

If you're in Champaign, Illinois, you'd be much better off spending your free time at Jarling's Custard Cup!

Darkfem Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> If you're in Champaign, Illinois, you'd be much
> better off spending your free time at Jarling's
> Custard Cup!


============================================
The one in Danville's good too!

It's to act cool with anyone who is lonely or vulnerable. The effort is focused on gaining converts for the Mormon church.

Don't be a dupe. Go to a counselor who can help you learn to live independently while you learn to make friends with people who are not out to get you for their own purposes.

Read Doctrine and Covenants Section #32.

Understand clearly (something that the priesthood will not talk much about) that in heaven your "Crush" if righteous can choose more wives. Ask yourself, do you want to be the wife of a man who looks at your worth as "the first wife"?

You will give ten percent of your income and your children will be Mormons. Period. If not everything will become a nightmare as church dogma tears your family apart.

There are ten thousand better options and there are far better men more your age who have solid morals and ethics who can love you without the time, money and emotional indebtedness that you will get if you follow this "crush"

Cut the crush loose and count your blessings. I promise that you will look back in the near future and say to yourself "damn! thank god I took a step back and listened to wisdom. What was I thinking!"



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/23/2015 09:33AM by AmIDarkNow?.

I think he meant for you to read D&C 132. You really should.

When you find yourself crushing on this dude, keep telling yourself:

"I'm worth more than this. I'm worth more than this. I'm worth more than this...".

I used to in champaign, now I live in a much smaller town around the city. In order to retaim some anomotiy, I still claim champaign as my home. And I truly love that city.

Even many of the ones that seem like liberal, non-Peter Priesthood types still have lifetimes of indoctrination under their belts and come from families that have rigid expectations for them, all of which include their marrying in the temple, living a lifetime running on the TSCC's hamster wheel of obligations, and raising their children to do the same.

Even if this mishie's flirtation with you were to extend beyond your baptism (which is his goal, make no mistake), he would eventually expect you to fit yourself into that mold, or he'll move on to someone who already does. Been there, done that. Save yourself the heartache, and find someone who won't expect you to change yourself to suit him.