My step daughter and her husband decided to drive 1,000 plus miles so their children could visit her grandparents during Spring Break from school.

Our grandchildren have friends that are black and school teachers they adore who are black and cousins they are close to that are black. My wife and I spend a lot of time with the grandchildren and they tell us about what they learn in school. Last month the youngest one told me about how they studied racism which he said was a bad thing. He said that if he lived when I was his age, his teacher (who is black) would not have been able to be his teacher simply because of the color of her skin. He had a hard time understanding why people are/were racist.

Fast forward a month and my 10 year old grandson is spending time with his SUPER Duper TMB great grandparents and he is texting my wife (his grandmother) about how his TBM relatives keep using the N word and how wrong it is.

I guess these ubber TBM did not get the message their church and religion is no longer racist.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/18/2015 10:24AM by themaster.

Mel Brooks said that in no way could he possibly have made Blazing Saddles today.
Still one of the funniest movies of all time.

I've decided that the 80+ crowd is too set in their ways to expect change along those lines. My mother still says "coloreds" and it sends shivers up my spine. I've told her that she should at least say "blacks" and that her word is very derogatory and just isn't used anymore and almost begged her not to say it. But she can't remember and says it anyway.

It might be better for us to just use it as an example to our kids and grandkids of how things change, how hard it is for older people to change their language sometimes and discuss how we can tactfully point it out to them and help them. Now if they're saying it specifically to be derogatory and racist, that's a whole different ballgame. In that case, tell them to go fuck themselves.

When my son was 10 years old, she asked if he could stay with her for the summer. She lived in NJ, and I lived in CA. I told her that among the rules were:

1. No corporal punishment
2. No use of the F word (a slur against gays)
3. No use of the N word

It was totally unacceptable for me to have someone use that language around my child.

I don't care how old someone is or how set in their ways they are. (Refer to threads where people talk about major life changes and changes in thinking and attitudes regardless of age.)

My son knows that I hate that language, and that it's nothing but discriminatory and racist and homophobic. It's hatful language, and longevity doesn't give one a pass. I didn't want my child confused because someone he loved and admired used such words. I didn't want him to think that these words are no big deal.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/18/2015 11:09AM by Beth.

I wrote a bit about this when I first came to the site, but I didn’t get very far with it, I was told to get a life and that the word didn’t mean that anymore, it was just a vanilla swear word. The word was bastard. The last acceptable ‘slur’ swear on prime time TV (which means it gets used a lot … it’s the go to slur word nowadays.) Being that I’m an illegitimate child, and it was the sole reason I was badly abused as a child, so sure … I notice it when it gets used.

I’ve been around plenty of rednecks who use the N word removed from any addressing of a black person … you know, just as a vanilla swear (a slur). They will use the homophobic F word in the same way too … maybe for someone who just didn’t serve them a beer fast enough; a vanilla swear (a slur). They might call a dude a woman too, as if there is something inherently bad about being a female. It’s derogatory; slurring as a swear implies defect towards the slurred identity. It implies discrimination, even if it’s used out of the original context and just as a vanilla swear or slur, that’s why a slur is a slur in the first place … a derogatory, discriminatory connotation.

But, I have to just ignore everyone calling people bastards. It’s cultural, and you can’t take toys away from children without a lot of foot stomping and complaining. But, taking the definition (see below) … you can see how even if people aren’t using meaning #1, based on the ancient discrimination associated with the term, it isn’t really all that acceptable to use meaning #2 either. Realize that some people are using N or F to simply describe a scoundrel, villain, rogue, rascal, weasel, snake, snake in the grass, miscreant, good-for-nothing, reprobate, too … and that still doesn’t make it ok. A slur is a slur is a slur ... and there is a history behind why it evolved into a slur.

But don’t feel self conscious, I don’t really care ALL that much. People aren’t going to stop slurring bastards anytime soon, if ever. We’re an invisible minority, so we just hide our shame, or maybe pay for some expensive therapy. It’s all good … but it does make for an interesting study of sociology. You fucking slurring bastards! :)



bas•tard
ˈbastərd/
noun: bastard; plural noun: bastards

1. Archaic derogatory
a person born of parents not married to each other.
synonyms: illegitimate child, child born out of wedlock; More
dated love child
"he had fathered a bastard"

2. informal
an unpleasant or despicable person.
synonyms: scoundrel, villain, rogue, rascal, weasel, snake, snake in the grass, miscreant, good-for-nothing, reprobate;
"he lied to me, the bastard!"

I can relate, Tortured...

When I was a kid, my last name was an easy one to modify to a common derogatory word. I was called by that word a lot in elementary school. After growing up, I have not been called by that name.

However, there is a mildly popular public figure with the same last name as mine. When critics use the same epithet on him that they used on me, it lurches me back in time and I feel the same flush of anger and frustration that I used to feel some thirty plus years ago...

I know the history, but I never thought about how this word could be hurtful. I'm sorry.

And before anyone starts hollering about being PC RAWRRRRRRRR, for me, it's not about being PC; it's about language and power. Language and social identity. It's about respect.

Don't worry Beth. I don't begrudge people, it's an awareness thing.

It's like the word retard. People use it to insult someone, independent of any developmental issues in the target person. But we've caught on that it's not polite ... someone in the room might have a downs syndrome brother, or a brain injured father, or ...

Human's will be humans. People don't always intend harm.

Like I said, it's not really a big deal for me. Mostly I question how much it's used on prime time TV. Long ago, you used to see many slurs on television, and they were acceptable. It's been interesting to watch them become unacceptable ... but there are still a few left. Again, it's a sociological curiosity to me more than anything else.

I AM a number 1....and if someone does me wrong I can react like a number 2...just sayin'.

Ron Burr

The Mormons tried to make the word "Mormon" into a word that was a religious slur. They didn't succeed. LDS and their other mile long name weren't good replacements. Even the Mormons themselves couldn't quit using the M word.

Now, I would not like being called a Mormon, but for an entirely different reason.