So there's a temple opening in the near vicinity. My TBM parents (we get along, more or less) would like to take me and the kids to the open house this summer. I told them I would ask my kids (twins who are 9) if they wanted to go. I also told my parents I wasn't coming back to mormonism (sort of joking, sort of not). I think they laughed. I hope that my parents know (it's been 21 years now) that I'm not coming back - but denial isn't just a river in Egypt.

Anyway, I asked my kids about it last night. My kids rock. They have little to no experience with the LDS church. I've talked before about why I left - just giving them bits and pieces. Things like: it's really, really boring or that you can't drink caffeine.

They're not interested in either of those things.

We also talk about the treatment of women, people of color and the LGBTQ community. Even though they are 9, they are both supportive of gay rights (and women's rights), as much as a 9 year old can be. FWIW, I encourage them to have an open mind and examine (and defend) their opinions.

My daughter said last night that if we went to the temple open house, she would wear a pro-gay t-shirt. They both liked that idea. They're just great kids. I want them to learn about the religion I was raised in (safely), so they can better understand me and my parents. So far so good.

My concern would be that the Morgbots would make your children feel uncomfortable.

But that might be a good first-hand experience of the bigoted nature of TSCC.

I'm sure there is a strict dress code for what they deem appropriate while visiting an open house at a temple. I would discourage making a statement at such an event. Or any place else that would require dressing appropriately.
People have different opinions that does not make them a bigot, however. That is entirely something very different than an opinion.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/27/2015 04:39PM by SusieQ#1.

Either being turned away or having people glare at them would indicate the level of tolerance some Mormons exhibit.

Xyandro Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Either being turned away or having people glare at
> them would indicate the level of tolerance some
> Mormons exhibit.


That would also be true for showing up with out a tie and shoes when they know they have to wear them to get into an event.
It's just common sense to dress appropriately for the event. Most people know how to do that.

Is there an actual dress code? I thought it was a come-as-you-are type event, although most Mormons I'm sure would wear standard church clothes.

Mormons have open houses to show off their church. They aren't going to turn people away because they are wearing tennis shoes or t-shirts. This isn't a church service.

Would you want your realtor turning away people from your open house? LDS, Inc. is selling something, and they don't want to turn away potential buyers.

like something that doesn't fit their strict dress code, to make the ones running the show mildly uncomfortable.



sleeveless blouses or tank tops

polka dot tights

shorts above the knees, but not too extreme

2 sets of ear rings

How about something a little difficult to understand. I once saw a guy with a terrific T shirt. It read 2QT2BST8 -
at one and the same time understated and gets the message across. Or you could settle for a rainbow T shirt - more appropriate for kids.

Or you could tell them that when one accepts an invitation to visit somebody else's house, church etc, it is not polite to challenge the host's opinions or convictions. I suppose that if your parents were to visit your house, you wouldn't tolerate Mormon propaganda.

If a parent sends them to a Mormon temple, I think they need to dress as expected. There's no need to set them up for derisive looks and comments. They have feelings. They're not sign posts.

I would dress them in dignified uncontroversial clothing. No shorts or other playwear. No messages on their clothes. They need to take in the event without causing a big stir. They can come home and give their assessment and learn what they can from it.

Teaching children good manners counts for something. I think it's rude to set them up as spokespeople for causes when they're so young and vulnerable.

A temple tour is optional unlike school.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/28/2015 08:08AM by Cheryl.

And kids wear marketing signs all the time. Better to wear progay stuff than market Disney or McDonald's on their chests.

I can't see the point of this. Why give your parents hope that you are coming back. Why not invite them over for a meal afterwards. Or maybe the next weekend because right after the temple visit that's all your parents will want to talk about.

If you do go, I would not encourage your kids to wear the clothing that will offend people and embarrass your family. Teach your kids to be a class act in the face of the cult.

Personally I would find something else all of the family had to do that day. Later, as teenagers, if they want to see a temple I would take them but all they would see at this point is a pretty building, (9 year olds have no taste) and can't really understand all the issues.

If you have a decent relationship with your folks, why do anything that would hurt or embarrass them?
You may know they are in a cult but it is their choice.

The grandparents would have a cow.

I would kibosh the idea. (Although, the rebel in me loves it.)

The Temple Tour Guide may not let you in?

I would keep it subtle if you are going to do it -- perhaps rainbows or rainbow pins.

My husband and I went to a temple open house a few years ago. No one told us there was a dress code. We were wearing jeans. Everyone else there was in dresses, nylons, suits and ties. They all looked so uncomfortable and over dressed just to tour a building.

There were also some missionaries there who were trying to act like extroverts but came across as looking like very strained and over extended introverts.

I like Trouble's idea of rainbow clothing of some kind.

You've given me a lot to think about.

Both being polite at someone else's event, to thinking about my motives. I want what's best for my kids.

If we go, we probably won't dress up (ie. wear the sacrament meeting uniform).

There are rainbow colored gay pride clothes without words.

Just saying: poor taste, don't do it.

Thank your kids for the thought for me. It means a lot even to a gay stranger who's seen it all through the decades.

So happy that you have that kind of open honest dynamic with your children. Money can't buy that--not even if it's tithing, haha.

I think if that's what THEY want to do, that's fine. Give them each a light jacket to put on over the shirt should there be a problem. Tell them to be respectful, well behaved, and willing to put the jacket on, if asked. It doesn't have to be a circus or a demonstration.

There's a passage in the Old Testament that is wisdom regardless of how you feel about religion:

"A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city."

Wearing pro-gay clothing to the temple open house is an act of provocation, and will likely be seen as something intended to offend. Like it or not, this is church property you're visiting, and you're a guest while there.

If you honestly want to change hearts and minds on this topic, it's best to go about it in ways not intended to alienate those with whom you disagree. That's a lesson of deeper wisdom that may cause pause for your children. Demonstrate a devotion to tolerance above and beyond those who you believe are intolerant. Otherwise, you're as bad or worse in your display of intolerance.

If you want to teach your children that groups like the Westboro Baptist Church are wrong and intolerant for showing up and protesting at churches and funerals with their venom, you need to avoid activities that are a moral parallel, even if not as outrageous.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/28/2015 08:40PM by Tall Man, Short Hair.

I say absolutely! Good for them. If mormon missionaries can wear their little offensive badges and all it represents then there is not one reason why your children who have strong independent intelligent minds ( you are right they are not sign posts!) should not wear them. I am offended at the thought of NOT wearing them based on the idea that we need to respect (?) the dress code of the temple?! The temple and all it represents is offensive- let them wear what they want!

Nine year olds are young children. They listen to the trustworthy adults in their lives and begin to formulate opinions which they will modify considerably as they mature.

It's unfair to set them up for derision in a situation they've never experienced. No one knows how temple officials would react. When I went to a temple tour, the Mormons were extremely hard nosed and judgmental with anyone who showed the slightest self expression or determination. I was chastised twice, once for leaving the waiting area to use the lady's room and the other time for saying I'd like to sit by the cool fountain instead of the stifling overstuffed chairs set up in an airless corner.

This isn't about the valid cause of gay rights. It's about doing what's best for young children who are not equipped to know what reactions they'll face if they are caught in a gay rights demonstration in a Mormon controlled environment.

I ran public demonstrations and marches for teacher rights as a union organizer. I would never enlist minor children to march in them or to wear messages of support.

This has nothing to do with respecting Mormonism or gay rights. A parent's or teacher's first duty is to allow children to learn and grow and experiment and discuss ideas in a safe environment, and not to set them up as signposts for derision for anyone else's cause.

Good points. I can see no upside to taking your nine year olds to visit the temple. So I would say no to the parents but suggest an alternate activity with parents instead.

If kids ask why they can't go I would tell them that you have been through temple open houses and people there are just selling church memberships and you aren't interested for a lot of reason including the fact that the kids would now have to hand over some of each allowance and bit of gift money that they get. Be specific. "Remember when Uncle John gave you twenty dollars for your birthday? You would have to give the church two dollars of that and you would only have eighteen dollars left to spend." That should dampen their enthusiasm pretty quickly.

If you need further ammo, show them pictures of what their adult underwear would look like. Explain all the clothes they could never wear and how awful Sundays would be. Kids of nine can easily absorb some of the elements of Mormonism that would affect them.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/02/2015 08:21AM by annieg.

Exactly.

It's as if most of the posters on this thread do not understand what an open house is.


It's someone who wants potential buyers to visit.

It's not a Mormon service.

It's a sales pitch.

Take them. Dress them appropriately.

Point out things as you go.

This is the place and though beautiful the man gave his life away to the church.

This place even though beautiful is where the woman gives up her rights in marriage.

This is the place that I did the penalty oaths.

This is the place that I had to give my passphrase to get into heaven.

Gays who want to marry in this beautiful place are not allowed in the front door.

These are the real take-aways that your children need.

Your children will respect that fact that their parents could see past the beauty and to the ugly and will realize the privilege they have to live a free life all because their loving parents chose to break away from the façade of Mormonism.

The life lessen they learn will help them to see past other deceitful but seemingly beautiful facades to get them to give up their lives, rights and money in the future.