Something happened today during the church's resignation process that I wasn't expecting. Thanks to lurking here for a while, I had some idea what to expect about the whole process. (Thanks to everyone for sharing here and making a very lonely process bearable, especially Eric & Susan!!)

Quick overview: Emailed resignation to headquarters; emailed copy of resignation to bishop; he responded by email asking to meet and talk; I was firm and said no thanks; today is day 59 since I sent the email and since I've heard absolutely nothing further, I was planning a follow-up email to headquarters tomorrow telling them to process the paperwork.

Shortly after getting home from work today, the bishop is on my doorstep, shakes my hand, asks me if I'm sure (I assume about resigning). I say yes. He asks me if I still have my temple recommend. I reply that it's in my wallet. He asks for it, since it "doesn't expire until May." I'm surprised, but have no need for it, so I go get it and give it to him.

I guess I'm so surprised because I figured that ever since they added the barcodes to the TR, it would simply be deactivated if/when the resignation was finally processed. Anyone out there resign while holding a current TR? What are your thoughts? Is this standard operating procedure?

I 'tactfully' would have asked the Bp if my resig. was effective / 'in force'.

regardless of answer, I would have told him that I considered MY T.R. as 'earned', and therefore MY PROPERTY.

There is actually a disclaimer printed right on the temple recommend. It states that the recommend is the church's property and that they can revoke it at any time.

Oh my goodness, how demeaning! Sorry, that doesn't appear to have upset you very much, but that would have thrown me. LIke 'You can't have your 'club' card any more because you have been naughty'. And like you say, surely they could do it on the swipe card bars, without having to contact you personally.

I was well and truly out of tscc before I resigned so my TR was not an issue. But I admit to feeling a lot of outrage for you, because you have obviously been 'worthy' right up until you resigned and they treat you like that!!!

Congratulations on a courageous decision! Ihope that you will find your feet in ex-Mormon land very quickly!!

I have no desire to ever set foot in an lds temple ever again, so I wasn't defensive. If you want it, you can have it. I resigned because I no longer believe. A piece of paper in my wallet or not doesn't change that. I just wish I had been mentally prepared for the possibility that someone would show up and ask for it, when tactfully deactivating it would have been more Christ-like in my opinion.

Thanks for your encouraging words. This has been harder than I expected, but also more emotionally liberating than I expected.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I sold it on ebay months ago. You can buy anything in this world with money."

Oh how I wish I was that quick-thinking! That would have been priceless!

+1

"But my signs and tokens are still up there if you want those too....happy bidding!"

If only I could remember them better. I have a policy that if I am told a secret about anything, I immediately forget it, so I don't blab. Anyway, I wish I had thought to merely keep the paper when the bishop asked for it. I also had keys to the building and had a dream about them and in the dream I said: "I have better keys than these". So the next day when asked for them, I told the 2nd counselor (assigned for the purpose) exactly that. And in the exact spot as in the dream. I obviously know more about fulfilled prophesy than the profit in SLC.

He demanded your personal property, from your wallet. Was he going to frisk you if you didn't hand it over? You paid big money for that card. He thinks he's the righteousness Sheriff.

They work by ambush/startling people. It really is insidious and disturbing. Thank goodness you are out of that craziness. If the general public knew how these creepy people operate, they would be stunned.

Congratulations for resigning! You gave yourself a 15 percent raise, plus more if you had any missionaries on deck. Good luck to you!

I would have torn it into shreds and thrown it into the air while yelling HIP HIP HURRAY!!! To each his own.

I don't see it as demeaning at all. I see it as a reason for a serious celebration. NO MORE CULT EVER!!!!!!

Along this same line...

Will he show up and ask for your garments?

That would certainly be awkward. Lol!

Seriously, under pants, missionary name tag, Eagle award, Scout badges, EFY pamphlets, CTR ring... "Consider yourself demoted, brother Hagar!"

"You can't demote me, I resigned 59 days ago. Get off my porch."

Remember to make a toast to Hagar on Friday night, or tonight if you are so inclined. :)

Congratulations, hagarthehorrible! Cheers!

Feel free to tell the whole exit story here

http://exmormon.org/phorum/list.php?3

We'd love to get to know you.

JAR

I will try to put something together for the intro board. I think it is probably wise to be careful about sharing too much that involves others, so it may take me a while to put my experience out there in cyberspace.

However you think best; whenever you're ready.

Yes, SOP. It makes the bishop feel important, and they *think* it makes you feel humiliated. If the bishop had any sense, he'd realize it's all busywork that corporate makes him do, and he'd ignore it since, as you say, it's all computerized anyway. Technically, (at least they claim), the TR belongs to them.

He had no right to make such a request.

The TR was your personal property.

I've heard of bishops doing this and I'm appalled.

I'd suggest that no one shake hands with bishops who show up in violation of trespassing laws.

See a bish who knows he has no right to be there? Say, "I'm surprised you showed up. I won't be talking to you." Close the door.

Someone tells you to give them something issued by the church? You can say. "I won't be bothering to find that. I don't need it, but neither do you."

Pretty passive-aggressive if you ask me VHS was most likely angry and maybe feels a little guilty because under his watch someone left. I think he was trying to get back at you.

That is interesting...

I had something like this happen to me. Just a little different.

After I told my wife that I no longer believed and all that. About a week later or so she asked where my TR was. I said "In my wallet."

She said, "No it's not I looked." Sigh

I looked and said, yes it is. Then a few days later I noticed it was gone. I don't care, I hadn't been to the temple in many years because 1. boring 2.I always messed up on that last part and HATED the looks of "Come on stupid, its not that hard." I'd get from the old guys.


So good riddance to it!

Technically, it probably is their property. In reality, they don't need it back any more than a credit card company needs you to send in your card when you close your account.

The bishop is just trying to act like LDS inc is calling the shots. That's the same reason LDS Inc won't call the process "a resignation", which is something you actively initiate, and they have to comply with. They call it "name removal", which makes it sound like something you request, and they decide whether and when to grant your request.

Completely unnecessary to retrieve TR. And relatively rare. Bishop, and maybe SP who may have ordered it, are just trying to feel like they are "Judges in Israel", rather than ecclesiastical clerks shuffling papers at your demand.

This resonates with me. Thanks for taking the time to respond!