Oh my word, how do I handle this? Let me begin by saying I have used essential oils for about 20 years. A friend of a friend distills their own, and I've been a young living member as well. I've found the oils have massively helped me with certain ailments (ie eczema, headaches, etc). Anyway,we met a lady who sells DoTerra. I made the mistake of purchasing because I wanted to know some other women who enjoyed them. Now I'm always getting texts pushing me to spend. It's rude and f* annoying. I finally said,"I only buy once or twice per year." Then, the woman tried to get me to attend an MLM business seminar. When I expressed lack of interest she was pushing me to watch the accompanying video. HOW do I make her back off without being rude. Hubby suggested ignoring the texts, but I don't want to be rude.

You have to be direct. I'd reiterate, I only buy once or twice a year (perhaps tell her when). Please only text me then. I do not want to sell essential oils. If she does it again, block her. She was warned.

If you're not rude, where's the downside for her to keep pestering you?

There are those who ID occasions when it is perfectly okay to put yourself first. This could be one of those times. Tell her that she is wasting her time AND your time by pestering you, and if she's not against the wasted expenditure, you ARE.

There is no magical phrase that will make her go away, loving you.

Stop worrying about being rude. She's trying to engage you in a business deal, not a personal relationship, and you're not interested in her business offer. Ignore the texts.

"How do I get someone to do xyz?" Never has an answer. You can't do things to control other people unless you've got a gun.

Block her on your phone. You can still contact her at your desire later.

MCR--This is my slogan for the week, which I will post on my refrigerator:

"You can't do things to control other people unless you've got a gun."

Of course, I would never shoot anyone, so I must give up trying to control others.

OP can control her money, and buy other oils that are as good or better than DoTerra. She can control her e-mail and phone, by blocking them. She can control her own need to "not be rude" by merely being "assertive."

I use the "broken-record" repetition technique all the time, and it works great! It stops counter-arguments.

Don't explain. Just say, "I'm not going to buy DoTerra oil from you anymore. (Often, especially with Mormons, you need to repeat it 10 times.) Don't criticize. Don't insult anyone. Don't feel bad about anything. It's just business. At work, I don't do business with someone who has an agenda that I disagree with. It's easy in business. You just pass off the unwanted client to someone else, with no explanation, except that someone else is going to take that client.

Over the years we were approached by, I believe, at last count 28 different MLM schemes.

Fortunately my husband and I decided to never get involved in them so we were able to use one another as why we wouldn't be able to participate since we promised each other to never mix business with church or family. It worked like a charm

Keep in mind that there is a good chance that she is drowning in debt to DoTerra. She could be pushy, or she could be scared for her life financially. That certainly doesn't oblige you to help her out, but it frequently happens with MLMs.

As for the "once or twice a year" thing, it is open ended and hence leaves you open for incessant pushiness. You never say what days of the year, or how much you allow yourself to spend. So yeah, the lady will not stop until you get tough. You can do it in a polite way, but you will need to be firm.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/02/2017 11:37PM by slskipper.

It's not rude to be assertive. You can tell her, "I'm not interested in getting any more communications about DoTerra products. If for some reason, I want anything more, I know where to go." If she can't respect that, block her number.

Be rude, be very rude! Just kidding, it's not rude to give someone else who's being rude a taste of her own medicine.

She is ignoring your stated boundary, so is the one being rude.

It is not wrong or rude to defend your boundary. She is invading *your* space, *your* home, *your* peace and time, and it is your responsibility to yourself to defend those things. To the curb with her!

"I'm DONE buying from someone who shows no respect for my wishes. Please leave me alone, or I'll block you. No means no."

Tell her you found do terra oils to be less effective and more expensive that your normal supplier and will not be using them in the future.

I already told my husband I'm not renewing my account,and I'm sticking with my other account because the woman NEVER bothers me. Also, the pushy one has a rich hubby she doesn't need money. Blocking the number is something I can't do because we actually knew this woman beforehand. If she had been a stranger before DoTerra, I'd consider. I suppose I should be more direct. I usually buy in the spring and summer only. If I need anything I'll let you know." Man...what I REALLY want to say is,"I joined to connect with other women who love oils,I want to continue with my once yearly summer kit purchase, attend and teach DIY classes, and not feel pushed to purchase or explore the business side; that takes the joy out of it for me!" If I can get comfortable enough I'm going to say just that!

Then that is exactly what you should say, without feeling in any way like you are doing something wrong. It takes huge courage to step past the limits we've been programmed with to always be nice and submissive but once you do it, it feels refreshing.

Believe me, she KNOWS she is pushing past what you want to purchase and is deliberately relying on your good nature to score some MLM business points or bring in more $. She is choosing to ignore what you said you want because she thinks she knows better for you than you.

Typical TBM. Don't let her get away with it. If that's what you want to say, I think you shouldn't worry and just say it.

ptbarnum Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Then that is exactly what you should say, without
> feeling in any way like you are doing something
> wrong. It takes huge courage to step past the
> limits we've been programmed with to always be
> nice and submissive but once you do it, it feels
> refreshing.
>
> Believe me, she KNOWS she is pushing past what you
> want to purchase and is deliberately relying on
> your good nature to score some MLM business points
> or bring in more $. She is choosing to ignore what
> you said you want because she thinks she knows
> better for you than you.


The last sentence, above, was possibly misstated?

Ms. MLM knows what is "better" for herself, needs to recoup her losses, and is willing to use her "friends" to do so.

"I can't think of a way to get you to back off without being rude, so I'll just say it: stop bugging me. I have no interest."

Block her text number.
Use repetition. Pick one or two sentences like "I only buy oils once or twice a year and am not interested in a business opportunity." Repeat that exact sentence, over and over, every time she says anything about essential oils. I read about this technique in a psychology magazine and I have found it very effective. I use this with my narcissistic mom because it is the only thing that works. Well, sometimes I do ask her questions until she starts contradicting herself but that might be way more work than you want to put into your salesperson.

If you decide you want to be rude, you can always say "If I want to buy essential oils, I will not buy from you because you are too pushy and you make me uncomfortable."

Repetition works. Don't try to come up with a new angle or explanation each time. You don't owe an explanation to counter HER rude behavior.

Ha, I had considered just saying that over and over; I didn't know repetition was a thing in that way. Nice!

It's called the "broken record" technique.

And if THAT fails (and the person is right in front of you,) simply stare at the person silently with no response whatsoever. Keep staring at the person until s/he backs down.

summer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It's called the "broken record" technique.
>
> And if THAT fails (and the person is right in
> front of you,) simply stare at the person silently
> with no response whatsoever. Keep staring at the
> person until s/he backs down.

Yes! Love it! Thx, all.

I love the feedback. I feel better about handling it now. Some people have no shame, and they make a bad name for other sales people.

I had a dental hygienist who started my appointment with too much friendly chatter, then waited until her hands were in my mouth to give me the Do Terra hard sell including starting my own Do Terra business.

I don't know if the woman kept her job. The dentist promised me I would never hear another word about Do Terra in her office.

No one wants their behaviors and wishes curbed, but that's what happens if someone wants them to respect reasonable boundaries. The only way to set boundaries is to be clear and consistent. It's nice to also be polite and tactful, but sometimes that doesn't work with mormons or those who have undergone high pressure sales training. Anyone who has always had their own way by pushing and prodding others will be resistant to suddenly respecting boundaries. They must pay a price for never learning proper respect for the rights of others.

The only way to avoid hurting the feelings of pushy people is to cave. That's a bad option. Better to say no and mean it and to say it as often as necessary until it's meaning is heard.

"No, sorry, you'll have to find someone else to do this because I am not interested."

Then, "You're not hearing me. Please understand that I'm not interested now nor will I be in the future."

Finally, "Don't force me to use language I'd rather avoid. I said no and I mean it!"

As a last resort, curse and hang up on them or shut the door.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/03/2017 12:48PM by Cheryl.

Well, if you want to get her to leave you alone without being direct, you can always insult the church.

"Your church sucks."
"Have fun being a 10th wife in Boy Heaven."
"Joseph Smith was a sex fiend."

Expect to be shunned. Ah, what peace and bliss.

Use the broken record strategy other posters have referenced, but add a warning: "If you pitch me again about selling DoTerra or send me any more emails, posts, messages, or texts, I will never buy oils from you again. Is that perfectly clear?"

Then do it. This is not rude. You are making your feelings clear and setting boundaries. If she won't respect them, you have to enforce them.

Unfortunately, both MLMs and the Mormon church teach their sales reps that no means yes, that all objections can be handled (defeated), and if they just keep pitching, you'll eventually cave. If this friend was raised Mormon, she's already had a lifetime of indoctrination that rewarded her for not taking no for an answer, and now she's in an MLM that pushes her to be even more pushy.

Good luck!

Block her.

Tell her no, repeated three times

Rude? Like who PAYS your phone bill?
Is she your EMPLOYER?
The donot call me, I will call you notice needs to said.
You are an adult.