I could have been sucked into a worse cult, like Scientology. Just because Mormonism chewed up my family and spit it out. And did it again. And a couple more times, well it could have been something else. I could have had my life put in a blender plenty of different ways. It just happened to be this way. Things are better now. A lot better. I got over a lot of crazy ideas about the world and about people. I learned so much about love. Learned it the only way I could learn it, the hard way. My self esteem was so bad, loving the hard cases and losing them was the only way. What I learned is that you can't give someone the love they deny themselves. Johnny Lingo was full of shit.

I did meet a few very kind people in the church, just like you'd meet anywhere. I have happy memories of Church. I can't go back knowing what I know, which is very nice because I know it's not worth it. To be honest, the church of my youth is gone. In 30 years, the church of today will be gone. Maybe it'll still be suckering people, but I think TSCC faces a tough road. Who knows? This could be the end of the line for them. My great grandkids might be amazed that I was in some crazy extinct cult.

I really don't have to make the cult thing personal. I know it's not, it was only about the money. There are worse people taking your money. Dysfunctional organizations are great teachers of what not to do. The public statements of the Q15 warn against the dangers of groupthink. Recovering from Mormonism taught me to think critically. In my case, thinking critically leads me to be optimistic about the future. It's so much better than the pretentious hope of Mormonism. Seeing a solid path to peace on Earth is so much more satisfying.

So, to the church leaders, I say "Thanks for being assholes. I couldn't have done it without you."

Mormonism made me lose 2 years of my life but when I left the cult I started to think in a more critical way which would prevent me to make some bad decisions in the future.
But then I realized that the same thing happened with every dissapointment in my life.
So I think mormonism was bad for me because it made me have some bad moments but at the same time I also believe it could have been worse, but not because mormonism is not that bad (it's a cult, not the worst but still a cult), it's because I was lucky enough to get out of the cult before serving a mission and because I realized that mormonism was a cult when I made my research about it, and also but not less important, because I realized how weak I was when I joined the cult.

I used to work at a company when I was young that was pretty much a disaster of a business but eked by because they had little competition. When I left to start my own business I knew exactly what NOT to do. I sometimes think I learned more from that than if I had been at a company that was top notch. Same for having been Mormon. We've seen under the rug.

Your line, "Thanks for being assholes. I couldn't have done it without you," is a beautiful way to say what I have felt so often since I left. I am still smiling over that phrase. Bless you.

You can't get bigger muscles unless you have something to strain against. Deep understanding comes from deep trauma. A good rough patch in life can be a wonderful thing--in the end. By being one of the ones to see through the Mormon church after being BIC indoctrinated to the hilt, I feel like I escaped the Land of Shallow and Imitation.

I feel like having been in a cult and then forced to relearn everything once I got smacked in the face with a real world I barely understood, that this chain of events was the best thing that could have happened to me. I had to work hard then to find my own personality. I had no idea how to be a friend. No one wanted to be around me for long. I floundered at first because no one was dictating what I should do anymore. So I finally had to do all the heavy lifting on my own. I appreciate my new self because I had to work so hard, dig deep, rethink everything to understand what others took for granted.

The problem with the Mormon facade isn't just the shiny fake image you present to the world, it actually becomes your own house of mirrors as well as the distortion becomes your reality.

I know what it is to be in a cult! Not many do. But the thing is, now I know something valuable because of my past. I see things differently, more completely because of that experience. I have friends who see Mormonism as some kind of "Boutique Religion." They have no idea what it is really all about. Of course they don't. You have to have been there. I was.

I am old now. I left so long ago. I have loved my life. And part of that is because "I couldn't have done it without those assholes."

This is a good way to look at it. Instead of feeling angry towards those who were jerks to me and my family, it really is better, recovery-wise, to realize I still would be in that cult if it wasn't for the creeps that got me to start investigating and finding out the truth.

WOW, Baby, this is your longest post ever, I think?

I don't give the church 30 years to collapse. The wonderful internet is killing the Morg. Any access to the world wide web tells all the skinny on anything someone wants to know about, before joining a cult.

Maybe old timers like you and me will be famous some day for being in a cult and not knowing it for so long? The Duped.

The above posters are some of my favorite posters on RFM! You expressed, beautifully, the possible up-side of having endured the Mormon cult. I was BIC.

I disagree with the statement, "I couldn't have done it without the cult."

Life--just normal life, itself--offers people many challenges and obstacles, because that's just the way life is. There is opposition in all things. You would have had different obstacles, and different assholes, to refine you, that's all.

I give wonderful people like you FULL CREDIT for being who you are. I believe that human beings are intrinsically good! (Probably because I work with children a lot). You would have been happy and successful anyway.

I realize you are implying that you survived well DESPITE the horrible cult, but I'm saying that--good or bad--the Mormons are unable to take away your soul and who you really are and who you want to be.

I didn't say it very well. The bottom line is that I admire all of you!