They are in a cult and i want them all to admit it before they die or i die. They are pretty brainwashed though and they love their scapegoat adam to stay exactly where he was to prove a point to themselves. But the badass will make a comeback somehow but not really sure how quite yet.

But why? Why do they have to be that way?

If they admitted something like that, it would undermine their belief system which is the basis for their self esteem.

live and enjoy life. It will drive them crazy.

That is what most of us on this board have done. We still have problems in our lives, but my life is such a vast improvement over what my life was as a mormon.

Some of these people can't admit it to themselves. Living well is the best revenge. It really is.

I know there are people (ward members included) who watch and wait for my life to go to hell, but it basically has just gotten better and better since I left the church.

You can't force people to do your bidding.

Its much better if they do something because they want to do it,

not because you brow beat them into it.

Don't waste your time just live your own life, not theirs.

I know but i want payback you know. Just an admission of some guilt on their part. Just something.

My ex left. He and his boyfriend treated me despicably. My kids didn't even like their dad, wouldn't call him dad. Our son still doesn't call him dad. I didn't have to say anything as he just showed them how much they meant to him, which didn't seem like much. For years, I wanted him to get his. AND just when I let go of that ever happening, it did. And I didn't want it to.

My ex just went through a really bad breakup and he has told me, "When have I paid my karma for what I did to you and the kids?" He has been "getting his" for 15 years or so now. But I, me of all people, have forgiven him and he does live here. His kids like him again, but there are still issues. He cries to me sometimes telling me how sad he is that he lost so many years with his children. He used to cry to me before we married telling me how much he wanted children and then he abandoned them. He has lost A LOT. I have a lot of empathy for him after ALL he put me through. He could work the rest of his life to make it up to me and never come close.

But he recognizes now what he did. That is more than enough. My "evil" sister is getting her's right now in many ways.

These people are miserable people without you getting anything from them. Don't let them bring you down with them. Hell, they are still mormons. That is enough karma.

badassadam Wrote:
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> I know but i want payback you know. Just an
> admission of some guilt on their part. Just
> something.


I certainly understand but it's only good if they do it of their own accord, if you force it, Its not the same ..... In the meantime live your life as best as you can , treat yourself well and be good to other people. You can't change your family, you'll only end up frustrated and angry and dissapointed.

You don't have that kind of power over them, badass. The sooner you can accept that reality, the sooner you can let go of Mormonism. Right now, you are still very much involved in the emotional dance of Mo-ism

Yes and it is a dance from hell.

As long as you have that mindset the church and your family still control you. The only way to get out of that control is to take control of your life and live it. There have been people that have done heinous things to me in the church and out. These things affected my life. But, I finally realized they will not apologize and others do not even think they did anything wrong(that is the worst). Now, I am happy. Things began to go better when I released all of that by moving on and getting well both mentally and physically. Guess what? After 45 years, a person that instigated activities that caused me to attempt suicide at 13, found me. He apologized stating that he has regretted what he did for years and it has haunted him and I forgave him. It was an incredible release. cl2 is right, live a good life. Many times Karma takes care of the past wrongs. But even if it doesn't, know that no one and no memory has the capability to control you unless you give that power away.

By the way, I have PTSD because of what happened over the years. It is a bitch and was angry I had it because of others. But in time, one learns how to master the triggers and little by little they fade. Still today I have to be aware in certain situations. This is a brain chemistry change issue due to highly stress situations, not just a mental health issue. As the said in the '60's "keep on truckin", you will succeed and be whole again.

PTSD is a bitch.

basass, as the saying goes, "Living well is the best revenge"!!

I dont even know what living well looks like, i dont think i have ever lived well i have just been trying to get out of pain basically.

Where do you live? Social security covers a lot. What does your pain management specialist say.

I live in pocatello idaho. Pain specialist can confirm all existing injuries if needed, i am currently waiting to be rejected from SSI so a lawyer can jump in right now.

Each person gets to choose for himself or herself what to believe. You can plant seeds that may or may take, but you cannot force them to believe as you do or even to admit it if they actually are questioning their faith. Just be happy in the knowledge that no one else can force beliefs upon you.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/03/2017 02:37AM by scmd.

Yea right beliefs were forced upon me growing up. I had no choice.

badassadam Wrote:
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> Yea right beliefs were forced upon me growing up.
> I had no choice.


Let me change my wording. I think you knew what I meant in the first place, but I'll be more specific. Each ADULT in a basically free nation gets to choose for himself or herself what to believe. Of course you didn't get have a choice as a kid. I didn't either. Now we're adults and do have a choice.

You can't force adults in your family to "face the truth" any more than they can force you to face what they consider to be the truth. Adults in the U.S. are free to practice or not to practice religion at their discretion.

I wish i felt like a real adult that felt stripped from me as well.

badassadam Wrote:
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> I wish i felt like a real adult that felt stripped
> from me as well.


That's understandable, but you can re-claim your adulthood from anyone who took it from you.

I am trying and i think it is happening.

Your Mormon family will admit to no wrong, my friend. Mine never did.

Well you do know better than me don you lived a similar life.

Oh, Pocatello. The arm pit for pain management. Yeah, I thought too that I would have to hire an attorney and pay out for their specialist. Nope.
Try looking at Idahospineandpain.com. You spend days looking at their websites until you see on their web site the description of what you have. Deep breaths

Howdy Badass. I’m hoping that the medical folks can treat and manage your pain. My heart goes out to you, friend, whenever I read about your pain and the hurt you are feeling. I just wish I could make the pain go away. I can’t, but I’m hopeful a skilled physician can help.

Several of your posts speak about your recovery. I’m so glad when I read that you’re say that getting better each day. And that others have noticed this, too.

But, then the pain is there and you worry “if I get well...” Oh Adam, fuck it! I don’t know what to write, I just wish you felt better. And, there’s not a damn thing I can do to help with the pain.

As others have posted above, you’ll be in a good position to be a part of your family when you’re healed. Until then, Badass, channel your pain and hurt into healing. I don’t know what else to say.

My sincere deepest desire is for you to recovery from pain and hurt. You are a very strong man And are a warrior. You told me you’re honest, devoted, and honorable. I can’t think of finer personal traits than these.

Badass, big bro hugs hugs to you! Please get better and kick the pain in it’s ass! Boner

I am trying boner i see the spine specialist today to see the results of a myolegram for my neck. Recovery is a crazy thing as i think some people on here could tell me. My mind is always changing i feel like a different person every time i read a new post of yours.

Ah,badass, you'll handle recovery. The PT is hell but just go to PT. What did Dr say about myleogram? Surgery? Surgery brings down your pain medication. I was on fentenyal, Dilaudid, Lyrica, tizanidine.
After surgery I'm on 7.5 hydrocodone, Lyrica and tizanidine. And going down on them. I am getting my toes back on both legs.
PTSD? Mixture of antidepression drugs which is going down with the pain. But the best thing is to move away from the damn family. They will hold you away from your recovery. Unless your family is supporting, they are dangerous for your recovery. You step way from your family. You have nothing to prove to them. Your comeback will be your health and a healthy life. You see Mormons like your family believe no one can be happy outside the church. You can't be healthy outside the church. That is the biggest kick in the ass to them and your silence on the matter will drive them crazy.

Well i am hoping for sure my meds go down after surgery that is the idea. I can think more clearly if i do that i think. Not sure if i can get away from family yet i feel i am too weak to move still. I have been trying to take care of each pain issue one at a time. My recovery as a whole has been very secretive from the family which i think it has to be. They will try to stop my recovery if they can. I have never been fully healthy in atleast seventeen years but maybe longer. I have never been able to break free of the family and church grip mentally before until now with the help of counseling and other things. I have to do all this to save my life, people don't really know what is at stake here.

Mine went from Dilaudid and fentynal to 7.5 Vicodin but I am still ssdi. But the pain went drastically down. Have you gotten your shots to bring the swelling down?? Then
There is surgery and there is laser surgery.
If, and ,I say if your person has apple for everything, you should have all the paperwork.
Do your parents have insurance?
If you have not gotten your shots and you can't afford them, hopitals in Washington and Idaho provide surgeries for back issues through their hospital services. You are indigent or making little money. Use it or are you in too much pain to research
.