Posted by:
sportsguy
(
)
Date: January 28, 2015 03:20PM
Sorry in advance for the long post.
Yesterday was quite interesting. After the “news conference” from TSCC, I posted my thoughts about it on Facebook. I mentioned it would have been fun to see Boyd Packer have to give the speech because his head probably would have exploded. A few hours later, I got a phone call from my very TBM mother. She asked if I was trying to get kicked out of “the church”, and I told her I have already been called in to the bishop who has questioned some of my postings back in November. I told her that I had told him that Salt Lake does not control my life, and that I will speak what I want. I had even told the bishop that if he had the resignation paper work, I would have signed it right then and there. Since then, I have held back because my DW has begged me not too.
My mom said I should just keep my feelings to myself. I said why should I do that, when everyone else on Facebook posts happy little thoughts and mormony stuff all the time. She even said that posting things could affect my employment (I live in the moridor), if people see my posts. I responded that would mean “the church” is even more evil than I already think it is. She even asked if I had stopped wearing garments, and that she had never thought I would have done that. (I did last summer.) She then proceeded to tell me how disappointed she was in me, and how miserable I would become. I mentioned to her that in many ways, I have never been happier. Then came the testimony bearing, and all of the “I Knows”. I stopped her and said, just because you believe in something doesn’t make it true. I think she almost hung up on me when I said the 9/11 hijackers also “knew” what they were doing was true.
Things went on and on, and I was extremely calm. I just explained where my doubts came from, and shared some of the things from the essays. She kept asking me where everything came from, and I had to point out it was all on “the church’s” website. I kept bringing up things, and she would say, I didn’t know that, I didn’t know that. Now I know she will never leave, but at least we ended on good terms after talking more than an hour. I sent her links to the essays, but she probably just deleted them.
After the phone call, I sat down in the living room with my wife, and my oldest son (16) and only daughter (14). We started talking about EVERYTHING, and it was one of the best two-hour discussions I have ever had (even though DW eventually left quietly and went to bed). We talked about so many religious things. My daughter was stunned to know that in the future I would not be able to attend her wedding because of church rules. My son asked if I would ever temporarily get ready to go to the temple whenever he gets married in the future. I said no, I would not. My daughter said then she would not go to a temple because she wanted her dad there. (It made me proud!)
We talked more about how in Mormondom, so many people’s lives are wrapped around “the church”, and they don’t talk about anything else. My kids agreed with me that our house had been too dominated by religion, and that even though religion can be a good thing, maybe we had room for other things as well. I also mentioned that I don’t want my kids interviewed about sexual things if one of us is not in the room. My daughter was so relieved, because she said she has felt so creepy having to do that in the past.
Later on, when it was just her and I in the living room, she came to tell me good night, and that she loves talking to me, because I seem to “get her” and “understand” her. I loved it!!! :)