I heard a knock at the door, about 6:30 Friday night. I was staying at my daughter's house (in So Cal), taking care of my 2 grandkids. We were just about to sit down to dinner when the knock came.

I went to the door and opened it. There were THREE male missionaires standing in a row, shoulder to shoulder. They had their name tags clearly visible, so I knew right away who they were.

This was the first time since I left the LD$ church more than 25 years ago, when I personally answered the door to missionaries.

They were all dressed alike, white shirts & ties, dark slacks, but the very unusual thing was that they had no suit coats. Instead, they were all three wearing identical sweater vests. They were all the same height, dark-haired, and smiling brightly. They could have been triplets.

I thought they looked nice, but the idea that they were all dressed exactly alike was a bit silly to me. I asked them if the church had changed the dress requirments for missionaires. One said, "Nope. We just all 3 got Christmas money, and we went to K-Mart and bought these on sale."

They wanted to know if I was "Brother ____'s father," to which I replied, "No, I'm SISTER ____'s father. That was strange, to refer to my daughter as "Sister _____."

The "spokesman" asked me if the ______s were at home, and I said, "No, they're out of town on a cruise."

This was followed by an awkward pause for some reason.

Finally, I said, "We're about to sit down to dinner." The spokesman said, "Okay, thanks anyway." And they turned to go.

I WISH I had said, "Next time, call before you come by, you social mis-fits! And by the way, your church is a fraud."

But they were just too damned cute to be angry with them.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/10/2014 10:58AM by PapaKen.

Telling them to call or turning them away promptly doesn't mean someone is angry. It only shows them as mature, reasonable, and mildly assertive.

Everyone has a right to enjoy dinner without interruptions from unannounced salespeople at the door.

Cute has nothing to do with the situation.

Ok, OK, OKAY!

But "cute" certainly DOES have to do with MY situation, Cheryl.

Not everyone would use a hose on them.

Sheesh!

Ken - I hear you. The only time in the last 5 years the missionaries stopped by, I pointed to my No Soliciting sign and smilingly said "I have a No Soliciting sign" and closed the door before they could recover. I was very nice but I felt bad because the were so young and cute - like my son. Not at all threatening or harassing. And they haven't returned, even though it was months ago.

Sometimes you do feel like you are kicking a puppy, even if the puppy has absolutely no business pooping on your lawn.

That's because there are in a threesome.

Hah, hah, yep that's even what they call it. It is fairly common to put 3 missionaries together instead of a companionship of 2. If fact when I was on my mission I was in a threesome for about 3 weeks.

Cheryl used the phrase "mildly assertive" - I didn't see any reference to "hydraulic therapy" ...

:)

You're way more assertive and presumptuous to me than to uninvited churchmen at the door.

I would never treat you as they did nor would I put words in your mouth.

I don't believe using a hose on someone is an appropriate action either

Those weren't mishies.....they be Nephites.

Yeah that's the problem when they are cute as puppies to slam the door. no but what we should please never forget is that these little kids are often simply the poorest beings under the sun.
that's why I try to treat them nice, and not mean. missionary means modern slavery. and we could put the seed og doubt in them much more effective when we are nice to them.
being mean only shows them that we are the "wicked" and strengthen their "testimony".

The last time I tried to politely say no and close the door one of the missionaries put his hand out to push the door back toward me so it wouldn't close. I don't want to tell and be mean, but they do not know how to be polite.

*Yell and be mean

I think they need to update the "white bible": "No matching sweater vests!"

As if you want any at all. Maybe one of the was considered "the Big Gun," as in, "We're going to PapaKen's, so we'll need to call out the big guns. Elder Price has actually read the Book of Mormon--let's bring HIM along!"

Chuckle-worthy, but three missionaries usually means there's an odd number of Elders in the mission and a twosome needs to be a threesome, at least temporarily.

Yeah, I know. I've actually been there myself several times.

I saw a couple of mishies in matching sweaters the other day and thought I was seeing things. Why do the sweaters match? It's like a Mr. Rogers army.

haha! A Mr. Rogers army!

New door approach: begin by saying "Hello Neighbour".

Or sing "it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood..."

More mishies than they know what to do with and not enough prospects.

DH grabbed a burger on Friday and SIX of them walked into the place.
Dumb kids who should be in college instead of wasting their time repping a cult.
Oh well.

Did Elder Curly say, "Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck!"?

Thank-you! I haven't had this good of a laugh for quite awhile.

Sheesh....I feel left out.

I want three damn cute mishies in matching sweater vests to come to my door too, plus I would request if they didn't sing, for them to serenade the neighborhood with (as Summer suggested), "It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood..." (too funny)

Or, perhaps, "I am a child of God..." Because they are such very young youth indoctrinated to get out there and march, two, three, four. Do not stop at Go and DO NOT ask any questions. Just bring in the numbers and do it now you lazy chumps. You are God's Army.