I didn't attend BYU, and I've been curious to read what y'all have to say about it. Clearly alumni had both positive and negative experiences.

If you could wave your magic wand, how would you change BYU? As a non-alumnus the one thing that comes to mind is changing the name; naming anything after Brigham Young seems twisted to the nth degree.

What thinketh y'all?

1. Join a college conference.
2. Reform the teams and quit churning out unsportsmanlike jerks.
3. Drop all pretense of this being "The Lord's School".
4. Tactical nuke.

Religious requirements, all of them. Every goddamned one. Not a one of them make sense. It could still be owned by the Mormons, it could still be administered by the Mormons. Just take the effing religious requirements away.

Stop promoting it as primarily a marriage bureau and stop seeing intellectuals as the enemy.

Close it. Re-open it as a state school with no religious affiliation. Or the nuke option would be just fine too.

The only thing that would change the Y would be if the church divests itself (which won't happen). So, in my fantasies--

You are the President
I'm special advisor to the President
Various RfM folks will be academic deans and chairs.

Ziller will institute a mandatory pole dancing class. Everyone will participate in family home evening coed skinny dipping at least once a week.

The cougar eat will have craft beers on tap.

Students must be real and earthy. Failure to cuss will be noted and points taken off from final grades.

I'd substitute a match for the magic wand.
You can probably guess from that how I'd "change" it :)

Dude, you'd be the fuckin' Dean of Science!

BYU Boner Wrote:
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> Dude, you'd be the fuckin' Dean of Science!

Naw, I'd never pass the religious test -- when they asked if I believed in and upheld the doctrines of the church, it would be impossible to not break out laughing :)

Naw...I'd want you to be the best scientist possible! You know, have the amphibian with Darwin on your car. This is my fantasy, and you shan't ruin it with your logic.

Since I'd have a magic wand... poof, gone.

Yeah, yours is better than mine :)

Forget the wand. I say we fall back and nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/15/2017 09:56PM by donbagley.

Take down the sign at the entrance which says "the world is our campus" when in reality is just the opposite.

I'd make it a rainbow college: EVERYBODY welcome!

It would be called "Why Not Be You?"

Spread the love... like butter!

Well, since I have a magic wand, I would turn the y into a spring break destination.

Think about it, no laws, no rules, anything goes for 2 weeks a year.
The campus is inundated with gentile kids from all over

Raves, keggers, molly, shrooms, cannabis, garage bands, nudity, kids puking on briggy's statue, and the y morgbots forced to watch

some aghast at the behavior, most feigning disgust and secretly wishing they could join in and of course the brave ones who say f*#k it, I'm all in, going exmo and jumping aboard the party train!!

hey, I have a magic wand

That's magic! Positive change.

M@t

I'll try to be a little more realistic than a magic wand.

I think I would want to make the LDS Church influence have a lighter touch. There are other religiously affiliated universities where quite a few students of other faiths, or no faith are willing, even eager, to attend. The religious tradition informs some of the ethos of the place, but it's less in your face than BYU.

The "honor code" and the religion course requirements really seek to Mormonize the students.

Magic wand ready? That would make BYU more tolerable. A little lady humor lol

+ 7.5! (in my dreams...)

scootergirl57 Wrote:
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> ... That would make BYU more
> tolerable. A little lady humor lol

Little lady? Lots of ladies. Not just (plain) women, but ladies! NEW NAME for COUGARS? And CUBS?

Magic, waiting to happen.

I'd get rid of the bubble that LDS, Inc keeps over BYU, especially getting rid of the clergy endorsement rule, so that a Mormon student who decides the church isn't for them, or who is excommunicated, can still graduate and get their degree and transcripts.

I would also make it less of a marriage market, and make sure those women who want to finish their college education to be able to do so. I would even offer free birth control to students who want it, whether or not they're married.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/16/2017 03:04PM by adoylelb.

I went there in the 60's. No ecclesiastical endorsement each semester. Lots of out of staters. I never went to church. I made a lot of good inactive friends that I have today. Byu wasn't that bad then. Anyone else out there go in the 60s ? . No lie, never went to a ward. Lived off campus in whatever apt I wanted to live in. Had to take Devotional and religion classes, but got credits for them. Graduated, got a mgmt trainee job in Chicago. It wasn't as bad as now....they probably needed the students.

I'm an alumnus of BYU. Honestly the courses were quite good, aside from the ridiculous but required scripture ones. I had some great professors and learned a lot. And the campus was quite beautiful. I just hated the cultural and the religious sides of it.

So I'd remove all of that. Completely sever all ties to the Cult and remove all religious requirements and restrictions. Change the name to Provo University or something. Drop the dumb Honor and Dress Codes too. Make the dorms gender-neutral. And make sure that everyone is accepted based solely on their credentials, regardless of race, ethnicity, gender identity, sexual orientation, religion, etc.

A guy can dream, though it's far too late for me to take advantage of such measures...

No Mormons aloud even teachers and staff and that goes for visitors as well. If you have garments on or have a temple recommend or attempt a secret handshake you are instantly kicked out forever.

Now make it happen. EXPECTO PETRONUM!!!

Sugar-free condom dispensers

Retracting Plexiglass dome (operate only if full-tithe and Home Teaching visits are above 90%)

Hall and exterior Muzak during class breaks

Curriculum offering Inspired Version of Shariah Law

Calling and Election Made Sure Office

Cash Reward System for secretly reporting unbelievers

Moving sidewalks and escalators

Timers in all toilet stalls

Rename stadium after each win/loss (Blessed Bowl/Falter Field)

Bednar Fries (hollow, straight, crisp)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yh723ftNKFM

To me, the biggest tragedy is that so few women who matriculate go on to graduate. So I would put policies in place to ensure that more female students graduate.