My mother has recently been involved in preparing a few bodies of deceased Mormons for burial. I know this involves dressing those who have been to the temple in their temple garments, but I really don't know anything else about it. Does anyone know more about this? Have any of you been involved in this process? I assume this takes place after any embalming has taken place. Do the bodies come dressed in suits prior to them being changed inti temple garments? Any info would be appreciated.

I helped to dress my mother after her death. She had been embalmed previously and they had already put her white dress on. We did put on her temple robes except for the veil, which is put on right before the casket is closed.

Why is it women have to wear a veil in their casket?

I was told by the Mo that that it is not acceptable or worthy

for them to see God or Jesus or Joe Smith face to face when

resurrected...?

Can some of you lurking TBM'rs tell me why?

There are at least 5 million different explanations for the veil...each of them different. Nobody knows why. It's just part of the temple clothing and each person has a different interpretation. But it is a problem that everybody has to work out. It possibly is worn because somebody thought they had the reason---and it worked its way into the culture.

My then husband dressed my father for burial with the temple robes. He said that freaked him out horribly and he would never do any such thing again. I sure hope my sister does this for my own elderly mother who will likely pass in the next couple of years.

And can I rant about the veil a little? It is DEMEANING that the women have to wear it over their face. I hated it in the temple and I hate that the veil is put over their face in the casket!

Ditto.

Anon455 Wrote:
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> Ditto.

It is customary for women to wear a veil over their face when getting married and to put it back after the ceremony. Maybe it is related to that.Who knows.

Got the 'HONOR' of dressing a friend one time with his son in law. By the end, we were laughing because the friend wasn't being too cooperative. As we tried to button the jeans for the umpteenth time (dead people get bigger), we turned and the director of the funeral home, was standing in the corner with a pair of scissors making a cutting motion. He let us in on a quiet funeral secret that almost all cothes were cut up the back in order for them to fit properly. And then, the cowboy boots!!! Good thing you don't see the entire body. The barrel of the boots were the only thing that really made it on the guy.

good thing dead men tell no tales because we would have certainly been brought before the HC for not being reverent.

I am so glad you all are ex-Mormons. Laughing while preparing someone for burial? Ridiculing for be buried in clothes that one considers sacred? Yeah I am sure it's a little weird to dress someone who is dead. Get over it like an adult. Someone has to dress the person and I don't think it would be any less weird if it was just their surf trunks.

Wasn't the ark of the covenant surrounded by a viel? Just something the think about after you get done having your laugh at the expense of dead people and the grieving.

We're glad that we're ex-mormons, too. I would have preferred not ever being mormon in the first place, but I didn't have a choice in the matter.

What exactly is wrong with laughing? Do you think everyone should just cry and feel sorry for themselves in order to be respectful?

I feel sorry for you if that's the way you live your life. At my dad's wake, yeah I cried a lot but I also had some really good laughs with old friends. I'm pretty sure my dad would have wanted more laughs than tears.

Shocked Wrote:
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> Just something the think about after you
> get done having your laugh at the expense of dead
> people and the grieving.


Um, I'm pretty sure the people doing the laughing WERE the greiving.

I'm with Cecelia. I laugh as much as I can in life, and try to make others around me laugh. I sure hope they can continue to find ways to laugh after I'm gone. And I sure won't consider the laughter to be at my expense, it will be honoring my memory.

Not to mention being a huge stress reliever. (Not as good as sex, mind you, but that really WOULD have been inappropriate in those circumstances.) lol

Rebeckah Wrote:
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> Not to mention being a huge stress reliever. (Not
> as good as sex, mind you, but that really WOULD
> have been inappropriate in those circumstances.)
> lol

...not for the dead.

During the Temple Endowment the man takes the women through the veil. It is there he finds out her Temple name ..That is why the veil is placed over her face, because it represents the veil in the Temple.

It is so he can bring her through the veil and calls her to come forth as he resurrects her. This is done by raising her face veil and calling her by her temple name..

JB

Who decides on the Temple name? Is it just a first name or last also? Do men receive a Temple name?

That naming stuff is awful. Can you imagine waiting for your hubby to call your name?... and he DOESN"T have to. Sick religion. Jesus would be appalled.

Everybode gets a temple name-first name only. It is revelation from the Lord, and The great one on high gives everybody the same name on any given day of the week. Tuesday its Robert, Wednesday its Amos, Thursday its SHazam, etc.

Dressing dead people in Temple clothes is the weirdest thing ever. I thought it was weird even when I was TBM. Just put my surf trunks on and bury me, if you don't burn me first.

Thanks for the info. Ugh, does the strangeness ever stop?!

I did that twice. Once for my father, and once with a friend for his father. In both cases, the bodies were embalmed prior to us putting their temple clothes on, we then put them into the casket, and in the case of my friend, the body was put into the crypt, as he did not have a viewing or a funeral.

My mother's two closest friends and I dressed her for burial. She had been washed and embalmed. It was a significant part of my grieving for my mother; the final act of service I could do for her after all she had done for me all my life.

She was End-stage Alzheimer's; a few months before she died, I took her underwear shopping (garments in the nursing home were stupid). She saw a display of white cotton panties with huge purple pansies and insisted on them. So I buried her in them, under all the garments, dress, robe, apron...It brings a smile (and a tear) everytime I think about my wonderful mother coming forth on Resurrection Morning in her purple pansy panties.

Does the mortician have to pull the stick out of the asses of the Uber-Members?

Or insert one in the rumps of the less active so they will appear more righteous at the funeral?

Being respectful of the dignity of the deceased person while preparing them for burial is different from a wake where all are gathered to remember the person with stories and anecdotes. For friends or family members to be laughing during dressing shows a lack of caring or connection not only to the person, but for all that person did for them during their life. It is appropriate however during a wake when recounting memories. At teh end of the day does it matter to the deceased? Not really, but it goes to show the character of the friend/family member who can be so callous. It is the same respect we show the smallest bit of remains found and returned on missing military. To be twirling a shinebone and laughing after the person having paid the ultimate price for our freedoms, would be a gross violation of dignity and respect.

sukiyhtaky Wrote:
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> Being respectful of the dignity of the deceased
> person while preparing them for burial is
> different from a wake where all are gathered to
> remember the person with stories and anecdotes.
> For friends or family members to be laughing
> during dressing shows a lack of caring or
> connection not only to the person, but for all
> that person did for them during their life. It is
> appropriate however during a wake when recounting
> memories. At teh end of the day does it matter to
> the deceased? Not really, but it goes to show the
> character of the friend/family member who can be
> so callous. It is the same respect we show the
> smallest bit of remains found and returned on
> missing military. To be twirling a shinebone and
> laughing after the person having paid the ultimate
> price for our freedoms, would be a gross violation
> of dignity and respect.

BS.

People mourn in different ways. Who are you to decide? Performing this macabre ritual with a long face makes no difference to the dead person. If the people who are doing it find humor in it, good for them.

I want no long faces at all when I die. Actually, I want no service at all, but a big party a few months later.

At my mother's wake at the funeral home, some lady came up to me with a bowl of some salad that she'd made for us to have at home. Nice gesture. But then she asked me if I thought they had a refrigerator in the building where we could stash the salad till later. I started laughing my head off at that one, and it became infectious with all my siblings. I'm sure they had a refrigerator or two, but I don't think I'd want to put food in one of them.

But it's nice to know, sukiyhtaky, that you are the ultimate authority on what is appropriate and what isn't. Please, keep pontificating for the poor, stupid and deluded fools here because we really need you to tell us what is acceptable.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/22/2011 10:50PM by Rebeckah.

A good friend had breast cancer. Her gay life partner nursed her for over a year and was understandably devastated when her partner died. My friend made her partner promise not to wear underwear to the funeral.

My friend enlisted her four kids and six grandchildren to "feel her up" at the funeral to ensure no underwear was worn. Hysterical laughing ensued every time.

It's different when it's some one you don't know, vs. some one you do. Another friend had a clown funeral, but that's a different post...

I have helped with family and friends in preparing bodies for buriel. Both mormon and non mormon. The first time it I was terrified, but quickly found that it was an honor to be asked to trusted to help at such a difficult time. I was was amazed at how the process of dressing and preparing a body (after embalming!) can actually help with the grieving process. Of course, not everyone is able to do this.

I find it sad that many folks find laughter so inappropriate when discussing death and funerals. Laughter does help relieve stress. But also I believe that those who have passed on would like to know that in all of our saddness, we can still find it in our hearts to laugh. Laughter heals.

As my own mother was dying she told us who were caring for her that she wanted to hear us laughing. She only wanted comedy shows on the tv. She only wanted happy sounds because she said that once she passed on that there was going to be lots of tears, so until then she only wanted to hear laughter so she knew we were ok. Geez, I miss my mom. How well she knew us!! It's been 8 years and I still shed a tear or two every week I miss her so much. But, I smile and laugh much more remembering all the good times, thanks to her. And at her memorial service, we only told the fun stories that made us all laugh thru the tears.

People mourn in their own ways, and sometimes, laughter is a way to relieve stress. My mom said that when her mom died, she and her sisters got into a fit of giggles when picking out the casket.

One thing I'll never forget about an uncle's funeral was that my youngest cousin fell off the pew during the funeral Mass. We had been crying up to that point, and when my cousin fell, we were able to laugh a bit through the tears.

I didn't know about the Mormon custom of dressing the deceased until this board, since the funerals I've been to weren't Mormon funerals. In my own family, the funeral home director is the one who dresses someone before the funeral, and even then, the person is wearing "Sunday best."

When I dressed my wife it was a really nice experience. Its the last thing you can do for your loved ones. My wife was way concerned about her hairy legs so the day before she passed away she made me promise that I would shave them for her. The mortition and I had a good laugh at her request! I am sorry now that I did dress her in temple clothes. I have felt bad for doing it but I have decided it don't matter what you're wearing.