I'm going out on a limb here. Many people will disagree with my predictions, but here they are. Monson's replacement in the Quorum of Twelve will be:

- White male;

- Born, raised somewhere between Arizona and Idaho, quite possibly in a town or city situated along Interstate-15;

- Wealthy;

- Former attorney, CEO, or wealthy businessman;

- Related by blood, marriage, or long-term friendship to one or more of the the Quorum of Twelve or to someone in the First Presidency;

- Married to an attractive, middle-aged woman from a wealthy family (quite possibly a distant cousin) who talks like a child.


I know that my predictions are wild and crazy, but I feel that God has helped me know this. What do you predict?



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/13/2015 08:54AM by cludgie.

Bednar reenacts Macbeth and butchers his fellow apostles until he gets into he is crowned Profit.

Wow. You're really going out on a limb there, Cludgie. I think it will be the opposite. I think they know they've got to get some diversity in there. So I predict it will be some white wealthy businessman from East of the Rocky Mountains.

Possibly like you say, I guess, the "opposite."

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/13/2015 03:07PM by kimball.

Whitney Clayton. Attorney, from Southern California, church broke, good looking family.

Only Rasband is higher up in the 70, but he is a jerk.

When Clayton is promoted, Jim Hamula will move up to a slot in the presidency of the 70. Again, Attorney, former SP, MP, from Arizona. Oh, and good hair.

Good hair is important. Dieter has good hair. As an openly straight man, I'm still kinda gay for Dieter.

If I would have continued to fake it, my day in the sun would be coming and the church would finally, FINALLY, have its first openly horny apostle. Not to mention its first brown apostle.

People would say, "It's the Day of the Lamanite!"

But others would be whispering, "Yeah, but does he have to be so brown and hairy?"

To those in the latter group, I say, "Ha ha!"

Hey, I'm brown and hairy too!

You'd be great!

Oh, cludgie, you make me laugh. Kannst Du es dir vorstellen, ich teile mein Geburtstag mit Dieter, vor vielen Jahren, als er noch in Ffm war, tauschten wir Glückwünsche via E-Mail aus.

Man I'm losing my German.

Echt? Wann war das? Ich habe nicht gewusst, Dieter habe in FfM gewohnt.

My English is Not so Good, always lurking and recovering. Dieter lebte in Darmstadt, war SP in Frankfurt, danach in Mannheim, ca. 1987 bis 1996. Happy about this Forum!

Bleib bitte bei uns! Wenn es zu schwierig wird, etwas auf Englisch zu schreiben, kannst Du mal ruhig auf Deutsch schreiben. Hier gibt est sowieso etliche, die lieber Deutsch schwaetzje.

He was in the area presidency in 1995, until... I don't remember, 1998?! He probably lived in Tannenweg, like the rest of the presidency and some other managers/expatriates working for the church. We exchanged E-Mail wishes on our birthday. I thought it was cool.

Right, caroline7, now I remember. Uchtdorf lived in the Darmstadt area, Seeheim-Jugenheim I think. Later, when he became a GA, he was in the area presidency at the area office in Frankurt am Main.

Probably not Louis Farrakhan.

It will be a media savvy younger guy.

Monied, ivy league resume, and very camera friendly.

However, with those qualification, 1 million a year is not nearly enough money to be competing with the current senior executive management market. One would think current prices might be 5 to 8 million a year, plus executive perks.

So, my guess is the person will have those qualities, but probably come from the CES department.

However, since they are so incredibly out of touch with reality, it will be another old, rich, white, republican who will make the correct talking points.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/13/2015 02:49PM by deco.

Larry Echohawk

Church News will announce that an angel with a drawn sword came to the Council of 12 meeting and announced that the next apostle will be:

A black, gay, female historian. (Not sure who she is or what her name is. All will be revealed.)

The Council of 12 then announces that the end is here and disbands, and auctions off church property and lays off its employees. The 12 take their money and run to a tropical island some place that doesn't have an extradition treaty with the US or Britain or anywhere else where the church had status as a legal entity of some kind.

Did Monson expire ?

It would be interesting if Cult HQ broke the mold after TSM croaks and elevates a younger (than usual or as is their tradition) man to a position where he could grab power after BKP fills in for however long he is allowed to.

Ron Burr



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/13/2015 06:30PM by Lethbridge Reprobate.

They already did that Bednar. Bednar was in his 50s, a child by anyone's estimation. To Monson & Co., Bednar was practically someone who played his music too loud, drove a Camaro, and felt up his girlfriend at the drive-in movies.

Mitt, only to get him to quit embarrassing the church every 4 years.

That's simply uncanny. You must have found a seer stone.
I'd settle for any woman. ANY woman. Even Sheri Dew would do.

I think this guy is likely in the ChurchCo "Prospective GA Tracking Program."

Eric Huntsman.

LDS royalty name, BYU Professor,Ivy League PhD, has a radio show, has written books,great hair, youngish looking,maintains a healthy internet presence.

http://huntsmansintheholyland.blogspot.com/

http://www.erichuntsman.com/index.php

Do you think they'd go with such a high-profile person as a GA? If he's got a radio show, then can you imagine when he's a GA and people go digging to find all the controversial things he's said in the past and embarrass the church with it? I don't think the church will do that, they surely must be aware this will happen. Same reason why someone like the guy who ran for president is never going to become a GA.

I reckon they'll just do as usual and look through the current and past Mission Presidents and Area Seventies and choose one of them for a new GA.

Is it not time for a black person to become a profit?

The Morg's only hope to hang in there would be a hail mary third round dark horse draft pick.

Thurl Bailey leaps to mind.

I'd put $.01 on a dark horse makin' it to profit status. Ain't worth more than that.

Ron Burr

Normally I'd bet with Cludgie, as risky as that pick is. But this time I'm going with the diversity pick - a guy from Mexico or South America. Probably a life-long church employee. But he will need to be old enough that there is no chance he will outlive the guys ahead of him.

Whitney Clayton will have to wait for the next slot to open up.

They will deliberately and systematically ensure that no prophet is ever anything but white. And I don't mean just kind of white, like mulatto or half mexican. I'm talking 32nd generation anglo-saxon white.

It will be someone who is a third cousin to at least ten of the remaining members of the quorum of the 12. God chooses his leaders from one family except when politically needed.

I do think it could be a non-white person, as the church has been doing a promotional campaign the past few years to show the church is racially diverse, so they might choose a non-white person as an apostle to help with that. If they did, I think he'd often be the one put in the public spotlight.

Could be someone young too, maybe someone media-savvy, although the current apostles seem to be doing everything possible to keep AWAY from the Internet, so they might not bother.

Since Uchtdorf is clearly the most popular apostle (with both mormons and non-mormons), it's possible they might choose another European.

I don't really know how it works though, if it's going to be up to Boyd Packer, then he's the type to go very conservative and choose a white Republican US-born person. If it's the 14 of them together that decide then it could be someone a bit different imo. We never thought the church would write about Joseph Smith having an underage wife on their website, so you never know, I think the church realizes changes need to be made.

Now I think about it, it's been ages since they've had to get a new apostle. But I don't think Monson will die soon, I've heard the rumours, but they come with absolutely no evidence, so until I get evidence I'm just going to assume Monson is okay.

Another pompous businessman without a conscience.

A Utah born man of Danish descent, possibly named Thor Lars Jenssen,