DH's long-time HT and HT's wife, a lovely, well-educated lady of whom I am fond as a friend (really - I genuinely enjoy her company and conversation. My only problem is that she is still a Mormon) took us to lunch recently. It was all very friendly, mostly catching up on our children and grandchildren. Our kids grew up with theirs, so we go way back.

I am SO tempted to take Mrs. HT up on her invitation to go to lunch, just the two of us, and ask her straight-out: "Why are you still in the church? Haven't they admitted that nearly everything is false, and then this business of trying to turn the children of gay couples against their parents. . .Why do you keep going back?"

I think of our oldest son, the straight-and-narrow living TBM: Eagle Scout, RM, married in the temple Golden Boy. His wife was the classic Molly Mo to the marrow of her bones.

Then came the atomic blast back in November (wasn't it November??) about the children of gay parents not being allowed to receive any Sacraments until adulthood, and then, only if they turned on their parents.

Son and DIL were absolutely outraged. They have two children and felt the outrage that most normal parents would feel. They stopped attending church. They take day trips and enjoy family outings on Sunday. Son even goes out for a beer after work with his buddies now and again.

So I'm wondering if a couple so deeply entrenched could be blown out of the Mo-community, what gives with HT and Mrs. HT? They may be afraid that their children and grandchildren would fall away too - I don't know. Social and familial pressure keep a lot of people in - we know that.

But really, what is left of the church that we all knew at one time? If most of what they once taught has been officially spurned, what in the world do they talk about in Sacrament? Or Sunday School? Or in RS and Priesthood? How do they fill those three hours? Church "doctrine" - such as it was - whipped full of air and fluffed out, like Cool Whip.

I am sincerely interested in how they are still limping along on fumes.

Reminds me of the book title by Thomas Wolfe, "You can't go home again."

The floodgate has opened, and the dam is broke.

The sandbagging the GA may try to do to stop people from leaving in droves isn't going to be enough to stop them.

The church is an empty shell. What it was in my childhood and youth doesn't even seem like the same church. If it was, then I've changed more than it has. But tis still an empty shell. It's lost its heart and soul, when it barred children and their parents from being members.

"Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal." Cor 1:13

You could take her to lunch and ask her. Just be prepared for a blank stare of non recognition. I would guess she is more indoctrinated than your son because of her age, and fully believes anything the apostles tell her is truth. The conference talks were filled with "love the sinner not the sin" type of comments. And 'gods love is eternal, but not without consequences if you don't obey his commandments' I would also guess that many of her generation may lend itself to not ever fully accepting homosexuality as anything but a choice. I see younger people who completely understand a gay lifestyle and have no problem with accepting it. They are the ones who have become outraged and leave. My 28 year old left over it. It was the proverbial straw the broke the camels back. He has since read the entire CES letter and is in the anger phase about the church. Hopefully his marriage will endure as his wife won't ever leave.
I see this same blank stare with my in laws who will never, ever admit the church is on the wrong side of anything. They still believe that blacks couldn't receive the priesthood because "they weren't ready for it, and it was for their protection" (gag) They have a solid testimony of their beloved leaders and anything they dictate is straight from gods mouth.

I would be surprised if your HT doesn't already sense your question even though you have spoken out loud in words. I find the people who I occasionally interact with who are still in the cult, tend to only speak cordially, about on the surface subjects.
They are too afraid to engage.

They know about most of the current lies and many of the problems with JS, BY, and the rest but choose to pretend belief and allegiance. Their thinking/behavior does not work for me as I can not begin to understand the mental processes they must have to go through to throw away their integrity and be a sheep.

If I were in your shoes and the opportunity presents itself, I think I would go to lunch and ask those questions but be prepared for lame answers and future distancing.

They don't know anything else. The church has been their entire lives. Without it, they don't know what to think, how to act, how to face reality. They've never learned how to make real decisions, how to confront difficult choices, how to determine if something is real or not. All they know is "follow the brethren."

I have sympathy for such people. Not that I see their inability to muster the courage to face up to facts as an excuse...just that I can understand why they don't. They're overwhelmed by fear, and a world they know nothing about. So they curl up in the mormon fetal position, and hope to make it to the end of their lives that way. It's sad...but I understand it.

^^^^^^^
This!

They.do.not.know.anything.else.


I have family members who are the very definition of the above.

It is actually kinda funny to see them twist themself into a knot concerning a few inconvenient truths that have come out of the essays of late.