We will call him Dave. He is very very close to losing his kids. Already getting evicted from his home. It's looking ugly. He has family around (both exmo and tmb)that have attempted to talk him out of his stupor, and encourage him to seek help. But, as any addict knows, one must first want to help themselves.

I have to admit that Dave was better off in TSCC. Take away that layer of control, and he heads for rock bottom. I'm not saying TSCC is the best or healthiest control mechanism. Far from it. I think TSCC may have made the problem worse. Having grown up in a religion with strict dogmatic opposition where it's not really a personal decision may have stunted his inhibitions to overindulgence. IDK.

I do know Dave needs to find some healthy ways to 'control' himself if he doesn't want to lead a life of a homeless drunk.

Can you help Dave?

By the way there are plenty of adictive in TSCC booze or drugs.

Trading one addiction for another.

I'm limited in how much I can help due to geographical distance.

There are plenty of addicts in TSCC. In fact, their behavior is often riskier BECASUE of TSCC. For example, I've seen those that are quick to justify their abuse of prescription meds, yet somehow think sipping a glass of wine is evil.

Not all addictions are created equal. I would argue that my bros 'addiction' to Mormonism was less harmful than his addiction to alcohol. But now the genie is out of the bottle. He can't unlearn facts.

Edit: spelling



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/20/2014 01:30PM by chainsofmind.

I've heard the "better off mormon" argument often. GA's use it to feel better about the CULT they lead through deceit.

However, many preferable ways to deal with alcoholism exist such as AA and they don't require tithing or a large commitment of time!

There are some who feel that AA is very cult like and if you look at the numbers, it doesn't help as many as you would think. Unfortunately, I'm not offering solutions, just pointing out more problems.

http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-aalies.html

http://www.positiveatheism.org/rw/ofcourse.htm

If "Dave" is now turned off to all things religious/spiritual and would not be likely to join a recovery group then perhaps you could share the following link below.

https://rational.org/index.php?id=1

Then click on "crash course on AVRT"

AVRT is not about convincing people to stop drinking. It is a very strong tool that works for people who have made up their mind to stop. It is based on the structural model of addiction and is very different than the approaches that AA promotes. I know two close friends, both exmos, that have used AVRT successfully. RR is very anti-recovery group and advocates that you do it on your own. The entire program is contained in one book "rational Recovery" by Jack Trimpey. He is a former alcohol abuser and disagrees strongly with the assumptions made by AA.

Assuming Dave's desire to change his behavior is a function of believing he can stop times his sense of urgency to stop now, AVRT can help Dave by increasing at least the first variable. Knowing he has a way out that works may also help his sense of urgency too. Esp. if he is in crisis, such as, being evicted. I hope he gets his s*&t together soon.

I don't have much advice to add beyond what you're doing already and what others have mentioned. But I just wanted to say that I was sorry for this outcome. I hope for a good outcome.

Mormonism teaches you how to be a Mormon, not how to be a
person. If you have been taught all your life only how to be a
Mormon then, suddenly, Mormonism falls apart then you have to
create yourself from scratch. This is not easy to do. This is
why there is a need for "recovery from Mormonism."

Einstein said it well:

"The foundation of morality should not be made dependent on myth
nor tied to any authority lest doubt about the myth or about the
legitimacy of the authority imperil the foundation of sound
judgment and action.”
--Albert Einstein (In a letter to a minister, Nov. 20, 1950)

You do not know if he were to be better off Mormon.

He may have looked better on the inside, but you have no real idea how he was on the inside.

Being raised in such a controlling environment may well be the reason he has so little control on his own.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/20/2014 03:43PM by MJ.