My TBM husband has been working away from home for years after being made redundant from his last job. The church and members were zero help during his long phase of unemployment.

I resigned from church last year and one of our compromises is that he doesn't pay tithing. He can do whatever else he wants with the church but obviously it is very limited since he is only home at weekends.

Anyway out of nowhere he gets a job offer from a company near home with all the benefits he used to have before. It would have been an answer to prayers had I still been in the church and I made the point to him that not paying tithing for years has not hurt us one little bit. In fact now we have money for our children's education, house repairs and debt repayments.

I am not trying to deconvert him. Just taking the opportunities when they present themselves to point out the lunacy of consecrating everything to that fraudulent church.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 04/24/2016 04:53AM by europa.

He knows that by rights that job should have gone to a tithe payer!

I'm glad to hear the drought is ending.

You state that you are not trying to deconvert him, while taking every opportunity to point out the false teachings.

I'd like to offer that that approach has got to be hurting your head, not to mention, his. I'm all for deconversions, but would also say that we are our own worst enemy when we are not honest with ourselves.

If you decide that trying to deconvert him is a healthy goal, there's nothing wrong with planting seeds, but I would not plant seeds and then deny that I wanted them to sprout.

Either be gently, quietly, lovingly honest that you want him out and plant away, or actually show respect for his beliefs with fair compromises and by holding your tongue. I know it's a hard decision, and I am glad things are looking up.

My best to you both.

Thank you for your advice, I appreciate it. I think for me, after being in the church for 20 years and out for 2 years, it is still very fresh in my head.

My husband and I have worked out a good deal of things and while he is dyed in the wool TBM, he is not a zealot. We have some pretty good compromises in place and things are a lot more harmonious than they have ever been since I left. So in that respect, his choice to stay mormon doesn't affect us much at all right now.

Yes, I can't resist the odd dig about the church but I've gotten a lot better than I was at the start of my deconversion.

In the meantime, it's great to have it confirmed yet again that all those dire warnings of curses on apostates are just nonsense.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 04/24/2016 08:50AM by europa.