http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/magazine/januaryfebruary_2016/on_political_books/time_to_put_big_soda_on_a_diet059197.php

Why doesn't Tommy get him a revelation about the world's dependency upon sugar water?

He doesn't have to ban it, but he could update the Word of Wisdom with adding some words of wisdom about soda?

But that would mean he would have to be thinking/ ponderizing about the well being of the membership instead of the corporation. Ain't gonna happen.

Well, I guess Monson isn't even as "good" a prophet as Brigham.

Brigham engaged in "unhealthy" habits but was "against" them.

Monson I heard guzzles soda?

Maybe Monson and his fellows of the royal priesthood society believe in outdated notions from the 19th Century like "like cures like."

"Mary Everest Boole's husband fell ill in 1864, after he had walked two miles in the drenching rain and then lectured wearing his wet clothes. He developed a severe cold and high fever. Mary put her husband to bed and - since she believed in the principle of analogies and like cures like - thought pouring buckets of water over him might help. Tragically, this made him worse; on 8 December 1864, he died of fever-induced pleural effusion."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Everest_Boole

Monson and friends like soda so to cure them from the problems of drinking so much of it, they add more soda. Inspired sweet bubbles to the head to induce heavenly hunches and push all the pornful thoughts away!

Ah homeopathy the cure all for, well nothing. Sounds in line with the profits, good for nothing.