I am on this dating site, and have met two women thus far. Both are wonderful human beings, successful, independent, charming and full-on lesbians.

However, each one I talk to is still LDS. They are full-on lesbian, and still maintain an active belief in LDS doctrine. I cannot reconcile being attracted to a person of the same gender with being ok in the eyes of the LDS God.

These women somehow can.
Can someone explain this to me?

They must be waiting for a plyg threesome with Dan C Peterson.

Haha. Maybe so ;)

But in all seriousness... what am I missing with regards to LDS Doctrine. The Church is super clear: homosexuality is a sin. Now having same-gender attractions is not a sin, but wanting to act on it is.

I have a female friend and our friendship goes way back to 1990. I will call her Jill. When I met her, she had a "roommate" that basically went everywhere with her. I will call the roommate Ann.

When Jill moved to go to grad school, Ann went with her to another state.

When Jill got a job after grad school in yet another state, Ann went with her.

This went on for a few different jobs all in different states.

For a while, I had not heard from her so when I finally did get i touch, I asked he if she was still in the CULT and she said YES of course. She and Ann are back in the SL Valley now and go to church and especially RS every week. They even take special recipes to RS.

Jill still calls Ann her roommate. Not a soul believes that they are just roommates - at least not any non-Mos. Perhaps moron Mos believe it.

Why bother with the charade? I told her outright that I didn't care if they were more than roommates, but she insisted.

I just don't get it. They were together in 1990 and still are but they are just roommates. YEAH RIGHT. Whatever.

I don't get why people do this.

OP - I take it that you are a guy? And were expecting to meet non-lesbian women.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/08/2014 11:38PM by verilyverily.

How bizarre.
So were they pretending to be platonic friends and good, upstanding LDS members and expecting other Mormons to just accept that. So strange. To each their own, I guess.

I'm a woman, looking to meet other women.

It's quite possible that both women happened to be asexual lesbians. So they get the companionship they need, but maybe don't have to break any actual commandments. They get to spend their earthly time together in their version of bliss, no harm, no foul, then get sealed to a penisholder in the CK.

Neat little loophole, eh?

If I were a GA (and with enough attrition, it could happen!), I would take the church out of the sexual judgment business. I'd concentrate on the money. Right now every time a member is excommunicated, there's no way he or she is going to pay tithing! How dumb is that?

I forgot an important fact too - they adopted two children together still pretending to be roommates, a girl and a boy. They seem to be good moms overall except for the CULT crap.

I imagine that they had to tell the adoption agency that they were both going to be the children's moms, but I don't know that for sure. It seems that the adoption agency would be more inclined to adopt children to a lesbian couple than roommates, but then the adoption agency was in Utah so perhaps not.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/09/2014 12:08AM by verilyverily.

So these women were on a site looking to date other women.... yet they are actively LDS?..... Yeah I guess modern Mormonism is getting stronger, little more progressive, branches... but still I have a hard time. When I first read it, I thought you were a man, and these were LDS lesbians trying to date men.... And I thought "well yeah, the church effs with your head"

I am lesbian too... and it sure as hell effed with my head. Maybe if I was at that point in my life where I was trying to figure this all out, today in this day and age, I might have taken a different route... unfortunately I tried to follow the church....

Lol, the same thing happened to me the other day!

I was talking with this guy and it turns out he is an active and believing mormon!

I was like "But youre gay, and dating..."

He just kinda shrugged it off.

If you have the mental gymnastic ability to believe in mormonism to begin with, you have the ability to compartmentalize your homosexuality, I figure.

And Mormonism does a good job of setting itself up as part of your identity.... that is a powerful thing.

About 20 years ago, my mother was in the ward RS presidency. She told me one day that during the meeting with the bishop, the RS pres was telling the bishop about all the lesbianism going on in the ward. Apparently there was a lot. Mom remarked how funny it was listening to this elderly (75-80 yr) woman talking about rampant lesbianism. Bishop just nodded his head and let it go.

So based upon my impressive evidence of a single anecdote, it's possible the church has more of a DADT policy with lesbians than gay men. Maybe it's due to the lingering patriarchy: it's the guy's job to ask the gal, and if he doesn't, then the gals can ask each other. The "seven women for one man" idea: he can't biologically satisfy all of them, so they have to satisfy each other. Or maybe it's just that the mechanics of the act make it OK for the church to look the other way. Or maybe it's just that most straight guys have no problem with two chicks getting it on.

The LDS church freaks out more over gay men because it's a male institution. Since women play only a support role to the male ruling class, what they ink, feel and do is less important.

Book of Mordor Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Maybe it's
> due to the lingering patriarchy: it's the guy's
> job to ask the gal, and if he doesn't, then the
> gals can ask each othe

Interesting perspective. Kind of like a school/church dance, where the girls will dance with each other while waiting to get asked by a boy.

Seems like patriarchy also figures in in that guys just aren't as squicked out as they are when thinking about a woman being with another guy. For some reason it doesn't trigger the "chewed gum" reaction in a patriarchal male.

What's interesting is that the lefties have been in the church since the beginning. My grandpa use to tell me of when he was a boy and his two lesbian aunts use to come to his home in cache valley for dinner. Everyone in the family apparently knew. They were from a very prominent momo family from Brigham City. Walked across the planes barefoot in the blistering sun (you've heard the story).

I'm not aware of the bretheren saying much about other lifestyles up until recently. It was the topic no one dared bring up... in public that is.

According to Mormon Myth Laws, Lesbian sex is not Gay sex. Lesbian sex falls into the category of heavy petting while gay sex is disgusting and worse than murder. Lesbian sex is erotic and any lesbian can be changed with a good hard stiff you know what. According to the handbook.

Maybe the no tell policy works.

But seriously what web site has LDS Lesbians? It needs to be checked out for scientific study.

My "bishop" must have had a different handbook. I was exed for being a ladygay.

We have lesbian friends who moved in together in 1970 after graduating from BYU and are still together after all these years. One was a church employee for a couple of decades. DW desperately insists that they are not lesbian, but clearly they are. Pretty much all of us even thought they were lesbians back in the old BYU 35th ward when they lived with other roommates. I think it's easier for women to fly along below gaydar range because Mormons are always pointing out that so many women are single because they are waiting for worthy men. If two men room together for a few decades and never look for women, it seems far easier to assume they are gay.

Not all relationships have a sexual competent to them. Some folks are asexual.

What some might call a lesbian relationship might just be a very emotionally intimate friendship.

I had known a married woman who left Mormonism, her marriage and took a lesbian partner. My ex-husband used to date her and freaked out that she "became" lesbian. I said she probably always WAS and just tried to fit the LDS mold. She and I became friends and that was just the case. She tried to become what she was NOT. She was the happiest I had EVER seen her.

It is NOT uncommon for groups of women to develop these bonds and is as old as time. Some women are simply turned OFF by relationships with men. Is it really so hard to see how that could happen in Mormonism?

It was actually one of the lesbian couples I knew that opened up my brain to thinking about different types of relationships.

Worrying about what OTHER people do in their relationships (one YOU are not part of) is like being in a deli and upset that others are not ordering the same sandwich as you.

Eat your sandwich the way you like it, but leave others to do the same.

Be specific you want to date HETERO only, not bi or bicurious. Absolutely nothing wrong with stating YOUR preference.

RMM

I loved your deli metaphor and will try to fit it in to future conversations!

You're right, of course. We lose sight of the fact that some people--particularly women--just want an emotionally intimate friendship. And no, it isn't hard at all to see how women might be turned off by men in Mormonism. God forbid.

I've thought for some time that without male penetration, the church doesn't consider it "sex." Which may sort of give lesbians an "out" as far as the church is concerned, since there's no male penetration involved, they just don't consider it to be as "sinful" as male homosexual acts.

Me, I'd be happy when all of us figure out the "deli" metaphor -- I don't care what kind of sandwich you have, as long as you don't spit on mine :)

Just a note to increase awareness, patriarchal frameworks often downplay the existance or strenth of female libido. Let's try to avoid that here on this forum. As a lesbian who has both real life experience and has read up on the subject, please know that these notions are oppressive stereotypes. Lesbian bed death is a myth. Let's not assume that women living together are asexual, only need platonic intimacy, or do not have strong sexual feelings.

Too many think they understand female sexuality better than women themselves.

Easier for womyn to slide by the penishood interviews.

"I cannot reconcile being attracted to a person of the same gender with being ok in the eyes of the LDS God."

Well, there are gay male TBMs too, like Michael Quinn for instance. I find it harder to understand why any gay person would have anything to do with Mormonism. That's just about as weird as being a black Klansman. But then, I wonder why any black person would be a Mormon. I suppose that a gay female black Klan Mormon would be the rarest creature of all. :-)