I follow this board occasionally, mostly when I want to reaffirm myself how glad I am that I left. Can I consider these nutty sad women's problems "tender mercies" oh that term grates my nerves.


http://community.babycenter.com/post/a53865232/feeling_so_alone

These women are so sad. I want to feel sorry for them that they've been so brainwashed thinking being a stay at home mom is the only option, while on the other hand I don't at all.


http://community.babycenter.com/post/a53940472/not_so_lucky_in_love

I think this was every yw I grew up with. Whereas this man says they both felt they might as well get married mid-twenties because there were no other options, I knew many a girlfriend who married at 19/20/21 to the first Peter Priesthood they met because they thought they were so old.

I know so many mormons who married even though they weren't in love. They are encouraged to marry young and get saddled with a mormon spouse and kids to keep them in the fold.

Courtship among livestock is practically unheard of. Any two compatible organisms can have a successful mating. To make this work among humans, you send testosterone charged males out into the mission field where they are forbidden any female contact. When they come home, they'll marry the first temple worthy female that says hello. Again, it's just livestock. That's why people like Spencer Kimball reminded everyone that any two persons living the gospel can have a successful marriage. Don't waste your valuable lives searching for a soulmate- you've got future tithepaying cattle to make.

What did LBJ say in this regard?

That reminds me of a question my daughter's 14 year old friend asked her. The friend isn't LDS and mentioned that one thing she didn't get was why LDS have singles' wards. Her exact quote was "Is it their policy to keep them captive until they breed?"

I almost ran the car off the road laughing when she asked that.

The sole purpose of attending the single's ward is to get married. Otherwise, a family ward is sufficient.

WOW...That's pretty damn insightful for a 14yo. That's awesome.

It's sad to see so many of the women suggesting that he just suck it up and go without the intimacy that a healthy sex life provides. It's really the glue that holds the relationship together for most people. Very few people think they signed up for celibacy in a marriage.

Devoted Exmo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It's sad to see so many of the women suggesting
> that he just suck it up and go without the
> intimacy that a healthy sex life provides. It's
> really the glue that holds the relationship
> together for most people. Very few people think
> they signed up for celibacy in a marriage.

Yep. And this is not a "mormon" problem. There are pages and pages and pages of threads at a site called themarriagebed.com about refusal and the heartache and problems it causes.

What IS exclusively mormon was one woman's response that he deal with it for the next 50 years and then wait until the next life and everything will be just hunky dory. Puke.

My youngest step sister just got back from a mission, and her mom is already pressuring her to get married at 21, using the guilt trip of going on a senior mission with her new husband by saying that if she wants her mom at the wedding, she should get married before they leave for their mission. While senior missionaries have more freedom than the teenagers do such as being able to return home for a wedding, this TBM is just pressuring her daughter to get married ASAP so she can start breeding more future tithe payers and missionaries. Her other children married as soon as they got done with missions, and she wants the same for her youngest.

The proper response to that is "if the church is more important than I am, then fuck you."

I married at 19. He was a terrific guy, and it was a legendary marriage. Then he died.

Now I'm 70, and alone for the first time. I have no idea what my own preferences and tastes are. I always made choices based on what would be best for both of us. I never learned to make friends just for me. I never lived without a plethora of family junk in the house.

I love living by myself and discovering it all, but it sure would have been nice to be a fully formed human before that marriage!

I'm sorry you lost your husband, but glad you had a great time together.

My cousin's daughter just got back from her mission in August. She and her boyfriend are getting married in the temple in December.......?????????

I have just enough contact to get an invitation, but not enough contact to know if she just met the guy, if they waited for each other, etc.

I have a family member that got home in June. Went to BYU in the fall. Dated one person, and was married by the middle of November.

The one not so mormon thing they did was put off having babies. They were married for almost 7 years before they had a child. It was a planned and intentional wait. Not a common thing in mormonism.

I think it's becoming more common to wait madalice. I know five Mormon girls that married ridiculously young (i.e. all but one were teenagers.) They are all in their mid-20s now, except one who is 21, and not one of them have a child after 5-6 years of marriage. The 21 year old has been married three years and instead of getting pregnant, just joined the army because she's always wanted to be a soldier. I thought she gave up on that dream when she married at 18 but she's off at basic training, no thoughts of breeding future tithe payers.

The girl who has been married the longest is working as a nurse and not planning to stop and have babies until her husband is through dental school. The next longest married graduated with a teaching degree and is also planning to work until her husband graduates as a chiropractor. Both the other girls have graduated from college and are working too and even the soldier graduated with an associates degree before enlisting. I think today's girls, while still marrying too young, are finding a way to carve out a life, education and career for themselves despite being married. They aren't rushing into having a family until they are a little more grown up themselves. Well, as grown up as Mormon women ever get.