Recovery Board  : RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In
Posted by: TennesseeCop ( )
Date: December 05, 2014 07:20PM

Oh boy. Get divorced and gain a husband. Polyandry is what I always wanted.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: TennesseeCop ( )
Date: December 05, 2014 07:31PM

My ex-wife for this life, is still married to me for eternity with her husband. My husband is my ex-wife's husband? How does polyandry work in heaven? What happens to my children if I get a temple divorce? Do I giveaway my wife to another man and allow her to get a divorce and thus giveaway my children? Why get married in the temple and then get divorced?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Queen of Denial ( )
Date: December 05, 2014 07:42PM

These are all excellent questions for your bishop. Write him a heartfelt letter! I am sure he would be delighted to answer them each. Lol.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: demoneca ( )
Date: December 05, 2014 07:47PM

Years ago when I asked my Sunday school teacher what happened to sealed families that got divorced, remarried, or had abusive family members, he told me "it will all be worked out in heaven." Needless to say, the answer did not satisfy me. I was hoping for something more specific.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: seekyr ( )
Date: May 23, 2015 08:49AM

I know - that's such a useless answer!

If so many things have to be "worked out" in heaven, why not just start with a clean slate and work it ALL OUT in heaven?

I don't know if we have a life after this one, but if we do, I hope it's nothing like the LDS heaven. It, more than any other version of heaven, damns everyone to a specific zone from which they may never hope to grow out of over the eons of time to come - all based on the tiniest miniscule moment in time. It is the same as saying that no matter how much time passes, you can never be anything more than you were at that time. What a stupid horrible thought.

Even if they call it Telestial or Terrestrial or any other kind of "kingdom" - it is Hell. And even if you made it to the Celestial kingdom, which for women is more of a harem than a heaven, could you REALLY be happy if so many of your friends and loved ones were kept away from you? It's all just awful and arrogant and illogical.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: grubbygert nli ( )
Date: December 05, 2014 07:59PM

my TBM ex will be married soon and they plan to start pumping out babies ASAP

since they can't get married in the temple (another story for another time) that means that if they do have a baby that baby will be (by their rules) MY baby

nope, nothing weird about Mormonism...

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: TennesseeCop ( )
Date: December 05, 2014 08:06PM

Do I have to be married to my ex-wife in heaven and her husband forever, or is there some way I can divorce my heavenly husband and still have my kids together with me and my ex-wife?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: hello ( )
Date: May 23, 2015 05:48PM

TCop, they are not sealed in the temple, so he is not your husband, now or in eternity. You are the sealed husband. After death, he is out of the picture completely. So no need to trip, LDS style...

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: TennesseeCop ( )
Date: December 05, 2014 08:22PM

Oh, I want my current wife with me forever, but I don't want my ex-wife or her husband. Can I keep my kids and just get rid of my ex-wife and her husband?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: TennesseeCop ( )
Date: December 05, 2014 08:23PM

Are you there god, its me margret.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: December 05, 2014 09:34PM

Many, many years ago when I was twenty-three
I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed

This made my dad my son-in-law and really changed my life
For now my daughter was my mother, 'cause she was my father's wife
And to complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad
For if he were my uncle, then that also made him brother
Of the widow's grownup daughter, who was of course my step-mother

Father's wife then had a son who kept them on the run
And he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter's son
My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue
Because although she is my wife, she's my grandmother too

Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I'm her grandchild
And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild
'Cause now I have become the strangest 'case you ever saw
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa

I'm my own grandpa, I'm my own grandpa
It sounds funny, I know but it really is so
I'm my own grandpa

Songwriters
Dwight Latham;Moe Jaffe

If you have trouble making sense of that, then check out this performance video which charts the family tree:

http://rsroleplay.wikia.com/wiki/File:I%27m_My_Own_Grandpa-_Ray_Stevens_%28_with_family_tree_diagram%29

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: pollydee ( )
Date: May 23, 2015 01:55PM

Lol...that was hilarious! DH and I have decided to sing that at our next big polygamous family reunion - thanks for the inspiration!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Still Lurking ( )
Date: December 06, 2014 01:01AM

Yep...just like this ^^^
My son-in-law's aunt is about to become his step-mother as my ex is marrying into son-in-laws family.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: NoOrganizedReligion4Me ( )
Date: December 06, 2014 07:55AM

My ex boyfriend's current girlfriend/fiancee is his nephew's ex girlfriend, which makes her her ex boyfriend's aunt.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: omreven ( )
Date: December 06, 2014 08:31AM

Your wife can't be sealed for eternity to both of you. If you're still sealed to her, then she's your "celestial wife" not his. If she cancels your sealing so that she can be sealed to her new husbaqnd for eternity, then you don't get to have her as a celestial wife. She'll be his wife. I guess you might be sealed to him through your wife "for time" (odd to think about), but as far as eternity goes, you won't have to worry about him.

At least that's how I understand it.

If she's sealed for eternity to both of you, someone messed up. I'm pretty sure that isn't allowed. I could be wrong.

Why not have your sealing cancelled? Why didn't she? Is this new guy unworthy to take her to the temple? I think that's the only time they don't cancel the sealing.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: dejavue ( )
Date: December 06, 2014 10:59AM

My mothers father is my fathers brother. Sounds scary but its' true.

To explain..?? My mothers biological father died before she was born. Her mother then married Roy. Grandma and Roy had four children together (younger siblings to my mother and her older brother). Then, when my mother was 17, she married my dad, who is a brother to Roy. So, Roy became my uncle as well as my grandpa. It gets more convoluted but I won't go into the rest of it. Suffice it to say grandma is sealed to my mothers biological father AND to Roy.

Can anyone say "family dynamics". lol

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Crud ( )
Date: December 06, 2014 01:00PM

If you REALLY want to see a crazy family tree diagram, mix polygamy with polyandry in the same society!

That's exactly what Joseph Smith did!

So ...

He is married to her, who is married to him and him, both of whom are married to her and her, and her and her, one of whom is pluraly married to the first him, the second of which is pluraly married to the second him, who is ....

All of this comes from a religion that firmly claims to believe in TRADITIONAL marriage!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: madalice ( )
Date: December 06, 2014 01:35PM

My two children are supposedly sealed to some guy in Idaho that they have never met, and most likely never will. In fact, he doesn't know they exist.


You see, I was married in the temple to Idaho guy. Divorced him 24 months later.

Ten years after that I married a nevermo. We have two kids. The church rules say they are sealed to hubby#1. That's the most ridiculous load of BS i've ever heard.


I'm sealed to tons of people I never met, i'm also sealed to people I want nothing to do with. I didn't have a say in any of these sealings. That alone makes the whole sealing concept stupid.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: beyondashadow ( )
Date: May 23, 2015 06:59AM

.... is the ceiling from which the chandeliers doth hangeth.

Worrying about who will be sealed to whom in Kolobville makes as much sense as wondering if Donald Duck has a penis or not, and if so, why doesn't he ever wear any pants.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: reuben ( )
Date: May 23, 2015 07:56AM

if she gets divorced again and remarried you are on your way to one really kinky four way for eternity. Giggity giggity

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: DWaters ( )
Date: May 23, 2015 08:55AM

This is truly a mindblowing thread. It took me 40 years to understand the concept of double cousins! Now this??? I'm out...

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Lethbridge Reprobate ( )
Date: May 23, 2015 02:02PM

So totally fucked up!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Charlie ( )
Date: May 24, 2015 04:40PM

when my ex married, I was informed that her new husband was my husband-in-law. When she divorced him the second husband became my ex-husband-in-law. All because the sealing between she and I was never disolved.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: rationalist01 ( )
Date: May 24, 2015 04:43PM

I'm still temple-married to my first wife, who has married a female-to-male transsexual person. Will said person be a girl again in the hereafter? Will he be my second wife? Interesting.... BTW, he's a great guy who I get along with. Nice beard, nice Harley.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/24/2015 04:47PM by rationalist01.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: ExMoBandB ( )
Date: May 24, 2015 05:13PM

All this is an example of how the Mormons think they can tell God what to do!

It's GOD's Heaven!

God probably won't be interested in any Mormon red-tape. If God is omniscient, He will know who belongs with who. Also, God has control over His Dead, and doesn't need Mormons to perform rituals for them on Earth. God will probably let us choose our own rewards in Heaven, without rules, visitation restrictions (the terrestials can't visit the celestials) or race (the less valiant) or sex (men can have many wives) or earthly religion (the Mormons have their own heaven that no one else can get into). This is not God's way!

If you don't believe in God, then you can just laugh at all this nonsense. Just make sure your children don't believe it.

I am one of three temple wives, sealed to and civilly divorced to a man who beat us all! My children, born years later, fathered by my second husband, also are automatically sealed for eternity to the wife-beater. My bishop, SP, and others said, "This is such a BLESSING to you, that your children are sealed to you!" (you and an abusive criminal) What joy in the Mormon Celestial Kingdom (sarcasm).

Don't let the nonsense make you crazy.

Options: ReplyQuote
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In


Screen Name: 
Your Email (optional): 
Subject: 
Spam prevention:
Please, enter the code that you see below in the input field. This is for blocking bots that try to post this form automatically.
 **     **  ********   **     **  **     **  **     ** 
 **     **  **     **  **     **  **     **  **     ** 
 **     **  **     **  **     **  **     **  **     ** 
 *********  ********   **     **  **     **  **     ** 
 **     **  **          **   **   **     **  **     ** 
 **     **  **           ** **    **     **  **     ** 
 **     **  **            ***      *******    *******