My son quit attending the LDS church while still in junior high but managed to stay friends with all his Mormons. Now that they have all graduated last spring and are going about their Mormon lives, it seems that he is the one they feel comfortable griping about the stupidities of Mormonism to. They never tried hard to reactivate him (other than a few passing comments) and now that they are on missions or at BYU or BYU-I DO (what they call BYU Idaho), when something bugs them about Mormonism, my son is who they call or e-mail to complain - because he will understand and not judge and they can keep up their image around other Mormons. Just this week:

His very TBM friend on a mission in Japan e-mailed to complain that since their MP won't let them drink green tea, they aren't having much success meeting new people to teach. People seem to take offense at their offering of a drink being refused.

His friend who is going to BYU-IDO called crying about the pressure to marry when all she wants to do right now (she's barely 18) is to get an education and how one particular RM is really trying to pressure her into getting serious - it's her first semester there.

Another friend on a foreign mission actually thanked him for being "the one person who he can be honest with" about what the mission is like. He also told a story about an investigator offering to turn on the TV so the missionaries could watch the news reports about the situation in Paris. When my son's friend explained that they weren't allowed to watch TV, this investigator, who already knew about the WoW, asked them to leave because "your religion is too weird."

But it is very true that the Mormon kids are afraid to voice their real concerns to other Mormons, their parents etc. And that they are noticing things about the church to complain about. My exmo daughter, who is still in high school, tells me all kinds of stories about her Mormon friends, who is lying to their parents, who is sneaking out at night to meet guys, who is probably going to get pregnant despite showing up all virtuous looking on Sunday etc...I know teenagers don't always confide in their parents but it seems like I know more about what these teens really think and get up to, via my kids, than their own families. And I'm the heathen. Go figure.

Stories like yours give the 'church monitors' who come here the fits! The 'monitors' don't mind reporting stories that portray us as raving maniacs, but a story like this, no way do they want to associated with it! This is a raw truth that hurts! This is the church losing touch with its future; worse, losing control of its future.

I hope he occasionally mentions RfM to them...

Your son and you are the heathens, fallen so far away from the light that your darkness surpasses all of theirs.

I've experienced the same thing. I am not invited to any family events (yeah!!!) but I know all the ways my siblings and cousins have slipped up over the years. I can be trusted to give real life advice and not judge them. As my nieces and nephews get older I hope they will continue the trend.

Honesty, caring, acceptance, joy, and love; how being an exmo makes you a better person.

That's cool that your kids' friends feel that they can be real around your kids. Hopefully that will continue.

" MP won't let them drink green tea, they aren't having much success meeting new people to teach. People seem to take offense at their offering of a drink being refused."

This YELLS CULT! When is the cult going to realize that going along with the investigator's cultural norms will get them more converts than their CULT attitude. You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar (my mom always said!)

Besides, GREEN TEA is very good for you. MORON CULT!

It makes me wonder what mishies in Kentucky's bourbon country do when offered world famous Kentucky bourbon. I know what I'd do for sure. I'd be gracious and swig it down and say thanks and mean it.

It actually made me appreciate my MP who had lived in a lot of foreign countries as part of his job, prior to being called to be a mission president. He understood adjusting for the culture and told us upon arrival that we would be offered Coke and Diet Coke a lot and we should either get over ourselves and drink the stuff or find a very good excuse why we, personally, didn't like Coke. He didn't want us offending the locals, who drank Coke like water, with our holier-than-thou attitudes. I never had a problem drinking caffeine though so I was fine but I appreciated his realistic attitude.

We all have stories like this.

kids and teens are stuck because of parents.

Millenials have friends stuck in missions or BYU

YAs are stuck because of wives and young kids

30's to 40's are stuck because of parents and jobs

soon over's stuck because of kids and habits and have no where else to go and know no other life...

Even though all of these generations either never believed and many flat out know it is all a lie and can't believe in the fairy tales... but they keep living the "Santa Claus and Easter Bunny" traditions for someone else's happiness and enjoyment and the someone elses are lock in just as much.

Spot on!^^^^

This exactly. I wonder if everyone had a thought bubble about what they really believed, appear above their heads, how many Mormons would be outed. Too many people are sacrificing their authenticity for the comfort and approval of others.