We left tscc a year ago. Things have been really tense with my in-laws. Before leaving tscc we were very close with dh's family. We've been married for almost 20 years and would frequently see them.

So the other day I texted BIL happy birthday. And he said "who is this." I say my name. And then he responds "who" again? I say "your SIL." "Oh I know a few people with that name." My first name is uncommon and my name spelling is even more uncommon.

He always seemed like a nice guy, like someone who wouldn't treat someone like that. What's the deal? Is this Normal behavior for a TBM to treat an apostate relative?

Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for a "faithful" mormon to do this to a familymember, friend or even loved one. I'm so sorry that you too, have to endure this.

Unless your number has changed, he deleted you off of his phone. You no longer exist. What an ass.

Well, you did make Jesus, Holy McGhost and all the angels cry.

:( I'm sorry for your experience but it's not uncommon for Mor(m)ons to act like that. My BF doesn't have a younger brother anymore and also his oldest sister and her entire family doesn't know him anymore. Similar to your experience he texted her on her birthday and she was like I don't have a brother named Joe. And his youngest brother, who is a missionary, wrote him that he don't want to be affected by BF's weak spirit. (BF returned home early and resigned immediately after he was home)

It's so sad they can't see the cancer they spread. Weak spirit indeed,if hers was strong enough, she could confront it, so who' weak?

Next text: Oops, sorry, wrong number, I know a lot of people with your name too. Deleting this number, won't happen again, my bad.

I would text back, "Nothing says cult more than shunning."

+1

with all the discernment of the sphincterhood...

Hurt me once...shame on you. Hurt me twice....shame on me. When someone tells you they are an A$$, Believe them.

Cross em off the list. Life is too precious to spend one drop of time or energy on people who are rude. What they think of you is none of your business.

Sorry you were dissed.

Unfortunately, it is normal behavior. My BIL barely looks at me and does whatever he can to avoid any family outings that I attend. But boy, he's sure quick to ask for help with any networking problems.

Isn't that contrary to recent from the pulpit talks of the GA's about how to treat members who leave?

I may be too optimistic here, but could it have been his way of teasing you that you've been out of contact so long that you're becoming a stranger?

Not for nothing, lots of people are clueless how to spell other people's names if they are unusual. Knowing nothing else about your BIL, I could give him a "maybe" on that.

Years and years and thousands of hours of "Gospel" training.

So you know, it's what Jesus whould do.

Wow. What a snooty butt-hole. No loss there, honey.

Could be the beginning of dimentia!

Next time ask if he is feeling better now. That might let him know you think he is ill. Which he really is....socially ill.

But it puts the problem on him, not you.

If he actually knew several people with your name....why would he respond with "who?" He would have said "which one?...my SIL, my co-worker...the woman I'm hooking up with at the gym?".....not "who?".

A classy person either pretends to know who you are until they get enough clues, or failing that, they profusely apologize for not knowing you.

If someone says, "I don't know who you are," it is meant as a slight. It is also a way to put you at a disadvantage by making you feel unwelcome and intruding.

A good BIL would say, "So good to hear from you again!" He clearly was trying to put you down in a passive-aggressive manner.

If your name got deleted from his contact list, he would only see the phone number. The first "who?" is excusable. The second one is not, unless dementia is the reason. Unfortunately, that is a possibility, especially if he is older.

Possibly it's a slight... but given that this was entirely by text, I'd hold off assuming that. You can't guess tone from a text message.

Next time, give him a call instead. Or just send a birthday card that has your return address attached.