I Got a text from a family member telling me she hates to see me struggle and then she proceeded to tell me her testimony, telling me she felt she should. Funny thing is she doesn't really know me and has never bothered asking me what I believe. So this is news to me that I'm "struggling."
And I don't know where she came up with that. I ignored her for now.

What do you do when family does this? Particularly, do you share your current beliefs/non beliefs with them?

You could tell her you are not struggling, and you haven't told anyone you are struggling. Tell her you'd love to talk to her about why someone might say that if she would be interested. Or ignore her, let your gut be your guide.

Maybe she was "chosen" to be the one to 'pry'.

Yes! Share your beliefs-wisdom. Bear your testimony (except you know) over theirs. Repeat, "STRUGGLING?", What do you mean? Counter their points with the truth, saying you don't know about _____? Say, it seems like you are struggling... since you aren't even aware of the truth, the facts about the _____, _____, _____. SHOW THEM who is more informed, happier and healthier. Tell them you care about them and hope that one day they wake up to reality, before it is too late. Besides, you don't have time to educate all the listless Mormaniacs in the family - heaven knows, many times there are too many.

Sometimes avoidance seems like the best policy. Boy, if they just had a (real life) testimony, some simple facts, a little knowledge, wisdom, critical thinking skills. Family, they still are in some strange way.

Maybe something like this?

'There was a time I was struggling with the problems of the LDS belief system but I have found the answers through diligent study. If you ever find yourself struggling with your LDS beliefs, perhaps spend some time pondering the issues on mormonthink.com'

^this. Plus, bear your testimony about what you do know. They have been trained to accept testimony and feelings, and they just can't argue with that.

My family still refers to me as "struggling" with my testimony or "questioning" my beliefs.

No matter how many different ways I explain to them that I have no questions about my beliefs and am not struggling with my testimony in any way they never get it. I think it just makes them feel better to refer to it that way. So they can think of the problem as being with me and not the church.

I don't think it's just to appropriate blame on you to save their perception of the church. It could also be so they can retain hope that you could come back. That's how tmb's reconcile their love for a family member with the ultimate sin--ceasing to believe. This way it wasn't really your fault. You didn't realise what you were doing.

Turn it on her, if you wish to respond. Tell her, "I'm not struggling, but YOU seem to be struggling with the idea of my leaving the church. I feel you need to know why I left, so here is...." Or something like that. They always make it sound like you are in the wrong. Give her a dose of her own medicine. Maybe she'll spread the word not to bother you about your "struggles" to other family members. Or, she may look into it and leave the church too. You never know. It's always a condescending attitude with members, isn't it?

I suggest she might be the one struggling with the testimony if she felt compelled to state it to you unsolicited.

Reply with this Quote. Tell them today must be a good day indeed!

"I find my own heart strengthened in the truth by getting rid of the untruth, the spectacular, the bizarre, as soon as I learn that it is based upon worthless testimony." - B. H. Roberts

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHa!

Ask her if she meant that she thought you had "doubts". If so, convey to her that you have no doubts at all. You KNOW TSCC isn't true and you know that JS was no prophet, and you knows that the BoM and the BoA etc. are all phony.

I'm always for being nice when someone is not purposely being rude.

I'd start with

"Thank you so much for writing to me, although I fear there has been a misunderstanding."

And then explain however you want to explain.

And then I'd end with some sort of inquiry after the family health and some well wishes.

Remember the old quote (based on the story of the Trojan Horse):

"Beware of Greeks bearing gifts!"

Also:

"Beware of Mormons bearing testimony!"

ahaha or how about "Beware of Mormons bearing casseroles..."
Or "Beware of Elders bearing cookies"

I'm not struggling. When it comes to the church I have the strongest testimony i've ever had my entire life. I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that the church is not the icon of truth it claims to be. I know more about JS than any other person in American history. My life is better, my mental health is so much better that i'm a bit shocked by the difference.

I have more peace of mind than i've ever had. I don't miss the artificial friends, the endless busy work, money that disappears down a dark hole and shows up as a fancy mall in SLC.

My family is closer, happier, and more content than we'e ever been. My only regret is that I didn't know the truth decades earlier.

I say this in the name of peace and truth, and hope you can also experience this soon.

And that is MY testimony. If someone wants to have a testimony meeting, i'm happy to jump right in.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/24/2014 09:26PM by madalice.

Some of these are so funny I can't stop laughing! Thanks for all the good advice - and keep it coming; it's helping!

"Struggling" = WAKING UP

...but they want to phrase it in a way to label YOU as defective rather than the cult which is actually defective and a monumental fraud.

so freaking annoying right.... I haven't been to church in a while. I got a cutsie little card from a lady in the ward today. I have no clue who this person is. But clearly they have been inspired to write me a little note about how I have been on their mind and they just need to let me know how much heavenly father loves me at this time!

yeah they are so inspired!.... barf

Ya--struggling...like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEdBndu0YUM

"struggling"

Add this to the other terminology on the list:

"offended"
"lazy"
"wanting to sin"
"influenced by Satan"
"unworthy"
"not able to live up to Mormon standards"
"shaken faith syndrome"
"less active"

You know that your Mormon family representative is using the same language that was in last Sunday's lesson on "Helping loved ones who are struggling with their faith."

The words that Mormons use are a dead giveaway that they have been taught these things in meetings. You have been assigned as her project.

Yes. FIL said we were "floundering" and proceeded to bear his testimony and inform us of how we can find 'absolute truth' (live the gospel, pay tithing, be active, pray, read scriptures).

Copy and paste her email to a new one. Change the words that reflect your own testimony, like changing "the one true church" to Pizza Hut or whatever your belief is. Mail it to her.