At the beginning of this year I read the CESletter and my shelf immediately collapsed. It suddenly made sense why the church seemed like such bullshit...because it was!

Once in awhile, however, I have this stupid little thought creep into my head that maybe the church really is true, and I let myself get too relaxed so Satan was able to trick me into reading "anti" material to deceive me and lead me astray. These little moments are always very brief, and I quickly remind myself of the litany of evidence against the truth claims of the church, and how I have virtually nothing to go on to prove that it is actually true. Does this ever happen to anybody else? Lol, fucking cult.

I remember a single incident where I entertained the idea that maybe I had made a mistake in my judgement about the church. Then, exactly one split second later, I thought, NAH!! No way. Too stooopid.

What struck me the most was this realization:

Everything makes sense now. Once you realize the church is a made up club, the actions of Joe, Brigham, Gordon, Spencer, Boyd, Bruce... all make sense now.

When I tried to make the pieces fit as "god's one and only true church" there were holes and questions everywhere.

Next time you wonder WHY the church does something, just remember it is all about the money. And real estate. And business. It all fits so well now.

Sometimes I think that's the reason that many of us read and post here. The brainwashing is so effective (from birth for me and others) that we can't entirely rinse out its filmy residue. It's like having a stubbornly greasy saucepan in one's cranium.

Mormonism is the sticky filth of the intellect.