Hello all to all. I do not post often on this board but I come here often to view the threads and remarks on this board as I can. Many post here and of course we mostly do not know your real name nor much about you that post as this is anonymous. For all who care to share, I thought it would be fun and revealing to give a little nutshell glance of who we are (not giving our real names) and a bit of our history.

Let me start first. I picked my handle (NewLifeGuy) because after I started my journey of the exploration of Mormon history about 8 years ago, it led to my leaving the church, losing my marriage, and the start of a whole new and very different life for me which has been painful in many ways and yet exciting as I discover the new and much more authentic me.

I come from a third generation very active Mormon family in Idaho. My father (one of the best men I have ever known) was very active in leadership roles in the church having been a bishop, stake president, mission president, etc in his life. He was a great man and very outgoing and a super example to his children. I was much more reserved and tried to follow his example though I was never comfortable with leadership roles and never strived for them although I excepted them. My father was dying when I finally decided to remove my blinders and explore some of the questions about the church I had shelved over the years. This led, like many here, to my total loss of belief in Mormonism and my eventual resigning from the church at age 62. It also ended my near 40 year marriage to a woman I had met at BYU in 1967. Thus I became a very New Life Guy after my divorce.

Other little nutshell tidbits about my life. Served a mission, temple marriage, six children, Air Force pilot, Navy optometrist, and grandfather now to 10 children. Church callings included scouting, Sunday school teacher, high purest group leader, bishopric, and high council among others.

I am now really exploring what I really believe but am pretty agnostic overall. I am alone and lonely but very much enjoy my freedom to explore just who I really am and enjoy life as best I can.

So there you have my "nutshell" of my life and how the Mormon church was involved so you can know who I am a little better. Now let us hear from others who frequent this board to know a little bit more about them. Looking forward to reading your responses.

Hi NewLifeGuy and welcome,

I believe many here understand the loneliness of which you speak. This board helps with some of that due to many of us being in a similar situation.

There is still some fear of posting identifying details since there are Orwellian eyes on the lookout trying to police dissenters (while simultaneously claiming to not be cult ... yeah right).

Anyway, I am from the Mesa Arizona area. I started doubting LDS beliefs while still in high school (35 years ago). I was guilted into serving a mission. The only things that I really learned on my mission were 1) Spanish, and 2) that I didn't need to serve a mission.


I still struggle with trying to help my brain-washed TBM family members overcome the mind control of their beliefs. I am always astounded that they can look at a mountain of evidence right in front them and still conclude that it is not there.

Cashew.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/22/2014 03:06PM by donbagley.

Me too....extra large cashew...

RB

Some people don't like me and I don't understand why.

I'm married to an exmo convert. He has two daughters from his first marriage who are TBMs. They disowned him and haven't spoken to him since 2004.

My husband just retired from the Army over the summer and took a job in Germany, so that's where we are now. I am originally from Virginia and was raised Presbyterian. We have no kids (don't really count his daughters anymore since they have nothing to do with us), but we do have beagles. I love to sing, travel, and write. I grew up showing horses. I'm a returned Peace Corps Volunteer-- served in Armenia in the 90s. I like beer and wine and dirty jokes. I'm a nice person most of the time, but I have little patience for foolishness or disrespectful people.

I have three degrees that I don't use, hence my blog entitled The Overeducated Housewife.

That's about it. Welcome and nice to meet you!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/22/2014 03:06PM by knotheadusc.

Been out since I was 15. Had a big argument with bishie (according to him I was questioning his authority and the authority of the CULT) about the rock in the hat translation.
Turns out now that of course they were lying and I wasn't. I also played "Light My Fire" on the CULT's organ. I was in a rock group and the CULT organist at the same time....(my CULT calling!) And the bishie caught us playing this in the chapel. So since the age of 15, I haven't been inside of a wardhouse except for funerals of TBMs. I was disfellowed and didn't want to go back. GEE I WONDER WHY? IT IS SUCH A HAPPY CULT, NOT!

Paternal great grandparents came over from Denmark and Norway (stonemasons) to build the temple. Had a bunch of promises if the'd come which of course were not fulfilled.

Most of my family is still in the CULT (cousins etc.). Not my brother though or his kids. My daughter (and hubby and grandson) are NOT a TBMs either! I have literally hundreds of cousins (many I don't know) who are TBMs.

The ones I do know well and love will not listen to me about the CULT. I have given up on it. If they want to worship Lucifer, let um. Nothing I can do. I is like banging my head against the wall. I am the awful family apostate (PROUD TO BE SMARTER THAN THE REST OF THE FAMILY THANKS!)

I just took my refuge vows into Buddhism last week. For me, Buddhism is the POLAR OPPOSITE of the CULT and I love it.

I did grow up in SLC and had all of the usual Moridor pressure. My parents were borderline jack-Mos, no TRs THANK GOODNESS. The only calling I remember that my parents had were mom's primary chorister and primary teacher. My dad didn't have callings. He was a High Priest whatever that means. He never was one to flaunt the priesthood in any way.

SO that's my nut shell.

For the poster who said that people worship Buddha as a God, you are wrong. The Buddha is an example to follow, not to worship. People DO NOT pray to the Buddha.

The poster used picture of statues of the Buddha to show that the Buddha is worshiped.
With that thinking, I guess people pray and worship at the Lincoln Memorial? There is a statue there after all. I have yet to see people praying to Lincoln because of the statue there.
There are statues of Jefferson, Washington etc. I've never seen anyone praying to these statues or worshiping these people, but perhaps that poster has.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/22/2014 03:05PM by verilyverily.

Good for you, welcome and congratulations. For a minute there I thought you were a guy I know from Nampa but he just got released as a bishop. Glad to have you aboard.

Ron Burr

Were you ever stationed at Vance?

I was never stationed at Vance but remember landing there once when diverted for bad weather from where I was going on a cross country mission. It was horrible weather at Vance too but was my best choice on the fuel I had remaining. Barely made it down as ceiling was 200 feet and could hardly see the runway at minimums but pushed it lower as it was that or bail out.

My flight training was at Laredo AFB in Texas but this flight was in an F-106 that I was assigned to fly after flight training.

I am getting some response on this thread but it seems a lot of people are unwilling to share things about themselves. I guess that is understandable. It seems I come across as new to RfM but I am not as I have followed this board for some time. I just do not post a lot.

I'm married, live in the PNW, have two grown kids and one grand baby. I paint, my husband hunts and fishes. He'll be retiring soon.

I a bic from 5 generations of mormons. As far as I know, i'm the only one that's ever left in my family. Husband and I left together 3 years ago on Thanks Giving Day. It's been a great 3 years.

26. Suffered with mental illness all my formative years in the church. Currently Byui. Haven't left yet. Life is lonely, but I have a quiet private peace now that I wouldn't trade for anything. I'd love to have the years of anxiety back wasted on "worthiness" and stuff you're supposed to hope for. It isn't gonna happen. Oh well. At least I have a new enthusiasm for living that I never had before.

This is a public place. If anonymity is important to you, use caution and good internet judgement.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/22/2014 05:25PM by Susan I/S.

Hello! What a lovely idea! Great to have you aboard!!!

I was born and raised in Australia, in the state of Queensland. So I guess that makes me a Queensland nut, what you would call a macadamia nut! Or just plain nuts perhaps? Heh heh!!! I came into contact with tscc as a teenager. I joined and then my family did also. I had wonderful teenage years with tscc, LOTS of lovely activities and I loved all tscc stood for.

I meet a missionary who had almost finished his mission. We obeyed mission rules totally, but after he went home we began to write. I eventually joined him and we were married in the temple. I refused to marry until I had a 'confirmation' eg the burning in the bosom.

So much for my confirmation, he was a SHOCKING abuser, mentally, and on occasion physically!

I went on to have 6 children in 10 years at which time I discovered my husband's multiple adulteries. I stayed with him for another 10 years because of the children but was finally told "I was not nearly good enough for him!!". Am I bitter and angry about that? Hell yeah!!!

It was after my separation I got my degrees and now tutor at a university (In Australia). I left tscc after my marriage breakup and resigned about 15 years ago. It was all just SO wrong to me by then, but all this was confirmed by the internet and this site to a greater degree once I found it all.

Today I am in my early 60s, love my job and am a VERY happy ex-mo enjoying being able to think for myself. I live with my beautiful ginger cat and have a quiet happy life.

I am very pleased to meet you, NewLIfeGuy and wish you all the best. I too understand your loneliness, but for myself I enjoy it more than my awful marriage. It doesn't sound like you feel that way and I hope everything works out for you.

All the best of Aussie luck to you!!

I will be 69 in three days. As you can see by my handle my name is Michael C born in 1945. I live in Texas. I was a convert in 1966 and married my wife in '68. We were sealed in St. George after I

came home from Vietnam. We have four children, six grandchildren and very soon our fourth great grandchild will be arriving. My wife and I both departed the church together after thirty years of

activity. All of our kids are out of the church.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/22/2014 05:11PM by michaelc1945.

He is very glad that those returning today are not treated the way you two were. When he retires he wants to become involved with the Wounded Warrior Project.

Live with dw and two dogs in WA. Raised in the cult until 18 then left CA for PNW. Married a never mo had nothing to do with the cult,and discovered online the Mormon church is a fraud in 2006. Resigned in 2007.

Fascinating to watch the cult being forced to open up because of the internet.

Read CES Letter and enjoyed Mormon stories Jeremy Runnells interview.

Agree with JR about the Mormon church being "a clumsy hoax". Exactly.

TBM family in CA who we have very limited contact.

I converted in my early 20's, married an RM in the temple, had 5 kids and was a stay-at-home mom. I do not live in the Morridor. I was very believing and conforming, to the point that I lost who I really am. I've been a widow now for 15 years and resigned from TSCC last May.

I like acting and got my screen name from being in the Wizard of Oz.

I am glad to be out and no longer living with enormous amounts of guilt because I can never do enough. Now I just accept myself as I am, and life is better because of it.

I joined a year ago and resigned near the end of September.

Whst happened in between involved me peeking around the internet and finding out many negative things about tbe church. Some of these sources came from RfM. Other sources include Denver Snuffer and Waterman's Pure Mormonism blog. What ultimately broke my shelf was just a lack of respect from the ward.

Aside from being an exMo, I am a quiet laborer who enjoys reading and enjoying the occasional beer.

My name is Ken Clark. I taught full time for CES for 27 years (3 years of part time seminary before that while teaching school). Lots of leadership positions including bishop. My wife and I left the church together in 2002, after learning that you cannot change the church from the inside. They were not about to admit that objective histories are a better reflection of facts than faith promoting histories.

I'm retired now, though I do a little consulting; after working in higher education after quitting CES and the church. I live in Moscow, ID.

Thank you for inviting others to nut-shell their status. I like reading them.

Ken Clark

I'm so glad to meet you all. So glad there are others out there. I'm not all the way out yet as a nonbeliever, but I'm getting there. Since there's just so much Mormon stuff to figure out, I lurk around here a lot learning from others. I'm a mom to 3 boys and a homeschooler. I read and paint and garden, and I'm fascinated by Buddhism at the moment (studying works by Paramahansa Yogananda now). (What are "refuge vows" into buddhism?)

high purest group leader ?

Ya I caught that after I posted and too lazy to figure out how to edit on here, lol. Oh well I figure most would know I meant priest. Heck, you ought to see my texting, so many typos. Thanks for reminding me I still do that all the time.

Doug

Funny! I thought 'high purest group leader' must just be a ex-mo board term I didn't know yet. I like it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/22/2014 09:23PM by dinah.

My moniker is a play on procrustrean bed. The legendary Procrustes would have visitors lay on his bed and then make sure the bed fit perfectly by either stretching the visitor or cutting off part of his legs. That pretty much sums up my experience with the church. I had to cut out significant parts of myself to make tscc fit, including parts of my personality, critical thinking skills, dreams and aspirations, etc.

I was on the fast track moving my way up the tscc hierarchy when I realized tscc was probably a fraud. Shared my thoughts with my wife a couple years ago, and that pretty much ended what I thought was a prefect marriage. We're still together, but we're still trying to figure out how to have a meaningful relationship between an agnostic/atheist and a tbm.

In a nutshell, I'm still trying to define and find propose in a life after the church. Unfortunately, the church is like dog poo, and now that I stepped in it, I'm having a hard time scraping it off. And the harder I scrape, the more it flies off, lands on other things in my life, and makes them stink.

I had to look up Procrustes when I first saw you post here. I thought your name (and the myth behind it) perfectly described what the church does to people.

I love this post. It's so inspiring to hear what others have been through and how they left. Here's my story in a nut shell :)
I was BIC, TBM to the core. I lived in Utah all of my life and almost went on a mission after a few years of college and no husband. I just didn't feel right about it for some reason. Met my husband that next summer outside of Utah. He wasn't Mormon and we ended up falling in love. He got baptized after a year of being together and we waited another year to get married in the temple. After being married for 4 years, he told me he was done with the church. I kept going but decided that I needed to reinforce my testimony to be strong enough to do it on my own. I considered divorce, but I just couldn't imagine my life without my husband. I was simultaneously going to therapy for some childhood issues and my therapist was encouraging me to acknowledge any anger I experienced. When I would be at church by myself, I started to feel angry about how people treated me as a woman with an inactive husband. I also started recognizing my issues with the messages given, etc.
I started doing research to strengthen my testimony and ran into Joseph Smith's list of wives, and read D&C 132. I took my garments off that night and never went to church again. It's been a little over a year now.

That's a very brief version of my story :)

I think it's great that 132 did you in. I couldn't open it for 15 years. Once I was fed up enough to read it again, I was done, too.

Born and raised TBM in UK. Scandalised my ward when I married a divorcee with three children after my mission. I adopted the children, who were all baptised at 8~10, but all left church in mid-teens (I obviously raised smart kids). We now have 5 grandchildren too.
I started studying to find doctrine versus dogma at age 45: result? Shelf collapsed within days. Two years on I am ex-mo and my wife came straight out when I did. I am really lucky in this respect as I have friends who left and got told "I choose church over you!" Heartbreaking!!

In my sixties, live in Alberta, work in the oil patch, lost all interest and any hope I had for the church a few years ago. Am NOM now, and do a lot of good getting people to see the real side of mormonism. Not a drinker and not much for coffee, so the question always comes up "are you Mormon". My reply is not anymore and this is why. I have lost count of how people have changed their view of the church after a bit of conversation. I hold a high position in the church, and use it to my advantage to encourage people to research their questions and doubts. I will maintain a recommend because I have to in my position. Also, my spouse is a TBM and I will not sacrifice our relationship. She knows my position and she is fine with it. I don't push her and she doesn't push me. I figure I can do more good exposing the church from the inside than I can as an outsider.

Skepticism got me out of Mormonism, and so that is the role I tend to fill in online communities. That is pretty much me in a nutshell.

Dinah - taking refuge means that you take refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha; the Enlightened one, the teachings, and the community of Buddhists. Here is a lot more info...

http://www.lionsroar.com/the-decision-to-become-a-buddhist/

Notice the 12th paragraph that starts "If we adopt a prefabricated religion..." - to me it sounded like it was speaking of the CULT through and through.

Anyway, this link explains it much better than I ever could.

This other link explains how Buddhism doesn't have a savior/diety. The teachers are not gods.

http://www.lionsroar.com/teachers-not-gods/

They don't tell you who to be friends with and who not to etc., and one of the "rules" is to respect other religions. Can you imagine the CULT saying that? It sure beats
"THEY ARE ALL ABOMINATIONS."

Thanks for asking and I hope I could help. Best of luck on the path.

Thank you!

I'm off to read those links!

I'm a late 30s exmo, from USA, but living in Northern Germany. I'm a University instructor in an art/design related field. I made a New Years resolution in 2001 to stop going to church. It's probably the only New Years resolution I've faithfully kept. In real life, I'm named after a polygamist polyandrous con-man and seer stone peeper who has been in the news lately, but I won't name any names ;-)

DH and I resigned in 2012 while DS was on a mission in South America. Unfortunately, this did not shake DS's faith and he is still Mormon. DS is pretty liberal, and I would describe him as NOM. I held various positions in YW, Primary and RS, but never president, since I've always worked. Unworthy, I suppose, but I never wanted the time commitment either. I've had many changes in my thinking since leaving. I struggle with self-confidence and sexuality. I can't lay all the blame on TSCC, but it surely reinforced all my issues. I am currently stuck on "the truth" and can't fathom why so many people seem to have the "ra ra go team" attitude toward big business and government. Obviously, my bread isn't being buttered by these groups.

Alcohol is so relaxing. Maybe if I could go to work buzzed I could be a "ra ra team" person. Until then, I sift through reality in my introvert shell.

Edited to add: My RM DH baptized my golden self when I was a senior in college (21).



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/22/2014 08:50PM by dissonanceresolved.

Guess I have a typical Mormon history... Utah all my life, mission, BYU, married in temple, kids... except that when my husband realized the church was bunk it took me a few years but I eventually realized he was right. Now I hear rumors that his family blames me for leading him out! He says that's not fair, he deserves the credit. :-) I'm still working on putting together my shattered worldview, but I am relishing the ability to really think for myself for the first time in my life.

Welcome to the board! :-)

Dual Canadian/U.S. citizen living in Utah. Ancestry includes Jews & Cherokees. Converted by my best friend to The Morg at 19. Moved to Utah at 21. All but de-converted by 29. I've seen and observed enough on multiple fronts to end up with a pretty interesting perspective on Morg culture, IMO.

i joined the church as a young man and remained committed for a while. within a year i started to doubt and became inactive. i'll post something on the bio page soon

i was a recent convert so i wasn't as invested in the church as others nor did i idolize it. I had a testimony of the BofM and the Church but I only saw it as a means to an end

I now am an agnostic

40 year old, mother of a 6 year old son, professor of chemical engineering, wanna be farmer, living in Amish country. BIC but knew it was false by the time I was five years old. Haven't been in a Mormon church for anything other than funerals since I was 18. Only got around to formally resigning this year, it felt awesome!
I grew up in southern California and would love to know if there is anyone on here from the Ridgecrest Stake!
Dabners