Today my 17 year old son told me how he noticed how much happier his dad is since we all left the church. He said that he has noticed he is a lot more relaxed, that he is home more, that he complains less, and that best of all he laughs and jokes with them.

I have noticed these same things with my husband and with myself. My children are so much happier. I can't think of anything positive about being part of the church but I can see dozens of positives for leaving.

Yeah, spending time with your kids (instead of being away at church meetings), and laughing and joking with them (instead of demanding they not masturbate) is priceless. And terrific :)

Colorful underwear!

Oh, yeah, and happy kids are great, too!

Was your husband in a "leadership" position? I've had multiple people, including TBM family members, tell me that being in a bishopric or stake presidency destroyed their relationships with their wives and kids...all while weeping in church about the great blessing of being able to serve, the blessings their families have received as a result, etc... I think they're still TBM's, but two members of the bishopric here (bishop and counselor) have asked to be released in the last year because of the strain on their families. The counselor was asked to bear his testimony when he was released and all he talked about was looking forward to spending more time with his wife and repairing their relationship.

When my husband left he was the scoutmaster, he has served in the bishopric, in the young men's presidency, and in the sunday school presidency, he said being scoutmaster was the worst. While we are a very outdoorsy family church scouting isn't true scouting, there are far too many restrictions on the leaders and he had a hard time getting help. Being in that position nearly cost him a relationship with his boys, in fact I have to wonder if the harm it did with our oldest son will ever be corrected. It took up far too much time and while some of that time he was with the boys it wasn't a fun time at all.

I can confirm that being involved with church scouting sucks. Ours was a small scout program (not a lot of youth in our ward) so the burden fell on just a few leaders. It was a major time suck.

Our lives are so much more enjoyable, stress free, and easier since leaving the church.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/21/2014 06:26PM by twistedsister.

Happiness is the main benefit of leaving the church, at least for me.

About the scout thing. My sister-in-laws TBM niece joined us on a family camping trip. The niece came with her four sons (ages 1,3,5 and 7) and no husband. She had to set up camp and tend all of her boys by herself. I asked her why her husband didn't come and she said he is with the church scouts at another campground. I am like what the hell!

In his defense, usually a big scouting campout is something that is planned weeks or months in advance. Perhaps it was already planned long before they knew of the family trip.

So!? Sorry scouts I had something else come up.

My TBM wife tells me how much happier I seem now that I have left. She told me she wishes the 1st 14 years of marriage had been like it is now.

If I could only get her to leave.

More money
pretty lingerie
nice dinners with wine
good coffee
leisure time on the weekends
only people I like come to visit
no unpaid labor
No outsiders butting into my family life and marriage
We are just normal. Nobody cares if we go to church

My pastor always ask how we are doing and thanks us for being in church, but never butts in our personal lives

sleeping in which is hugely important for happiness and sanity.

Yeah, NO MORE SEMINARY!!!!!

We stopped going to seminary two years ago, I took my oldest for two years, then he got really sick and we stopped. I tried to be a good mom and get approval for home study but apparently my bishop didn't feel I was sacrificing enough and wouldn't approve it. So we stopped going. That was the catalyst for us leaving the church, I wanted to know why seminary started and why it was so important. Down the rabbit hole I went. But still yeah I lost two years of sleep, I did miss out though on a decade more. Woohoo!!!

I have been out over a year:
--- Freedom from religious bondage (HT, callings, must dos, don't dos, must believes, meetings!
--- Mental freedom to study and learn many things.

--- Time and money!

Having the time and money to enjoy life!

Not being concerned about worthiness and having my life judged in this life or the next.

Becoming involved with a woman! Best high ever!

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit and rediscovery Of eternal Happiness.

And to do what's best for me and my family.

It's MY life. Not God's. Not the church's. Not the ward members'. Not my Mom's or my Dad's. I don't need to ask any of those people (real or imagined) for approval or permission.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/22/2014 08:01PM by imaworkinonit.

10% increase in pay and sundays off.

We haven't quite had that 10% increase in pay yet, we are still donating part of my husbands income but it is to charities and people that we choose to help.