It's been nearly 2 1/2 years since sithlord told me that he didn't believe in the church. In that time, we have experienced a lot of highs and lows. Last week, we got some of the best news ever!

We have five sons. The oldest had been home from his mission for a few months when sithlord defected from the church. He got married 10 days later. We were estranged from him for over a year, even missing out on the birth of our first granddaughter. Things have been great with them, and though our son is still TBM, his wife is not. She's basically done with the church, but she has that tricky task of navigating a mixed faith marriage. Still, things are good between us all, and we see our granddaughter a lot. I have a great relationship with my DIL, and for that I'm grateful.

Our second, fourth, and fifth sons left the church when we did. Our third son, however, who was 16 at the time we left the church, has been faithfully attending church until recent months. He also had a long time girl he had been interested in for a couple of years. He had been planning on serving a mission, getting all of the necessary medical and dental work done, and working on his paperwork. Of course the ward was tripping all over themselves to pay for his mission, since he has such horrible parents. (sarcasm) He would often get people approaching him at church with concerned looks in their eyes, asking if he was OK. It's good they were checking on him since sithlord and I began snacking on kittens and beating him regularly.

He and his girlfriend broke up, and he slowly stopped going to church every week. He didn't attend General Conference this past October, nor had he been to church for a month or so leading up to GC. He has a medical condition, which is not serious, but requires close follow-up, so his doctor was requiring him to stay stateside for his mission. He recently asked to upgrade his cellphone to a smartphone, but we were reluctant since we'd be stuck in a contract with him leaving on his mission. So, he dropped the awesome news on us that he's not going on a mission!! Wooo!!

Now we just need to have a conversation about the church, and gently ask whether he's been wondering if it's not really true. I couldn't be more thrilled, even if he decides to stay Mormon, that he won't be subjected to a two year, boring, unpaid sales job.

Things are looking up, Twojedis. Thanks for the report. :)

Awesome! The good news keeps coming in today!

staying away from Church for some time to get perspective on it?

Thanks for giving everyone hope, Twojedi's. You have a very positive attitude, and a great deal of patience!

Statistics show that if one parent leaves the cult, or is already non-Mormon, a child is 75% likely to leave. So, your children had BOTH parents leave, so they have a 125% chance of leaving. Good on you, for being good examples, and loving your children through this.

My husband led us out of the cult, simply by offering us MORE in life, especially more unconditional love. More knowledge. More family fun together. Life is sweet!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/20/2014 11:46PM by forestpal.

No, it'd be 150% chance of leaving, unless you think one of the parents had a little less conviction about it?

Your story gives me a burning in my bosom so it must be righteous and true. Good luck, and may The Force be with you.

"Snacking on Kittens"... best line ever!

I'm happy for you twojedis.

I "pray" for the day my ex and her children see the light and rejoin humanity.

I'm happy for you. Our family has bad news today so I am happy that your good news helps to balance things out.

That is great news! One step at a time.

However, if you quit eating the neighbors cats he might listen to you a little better.

Thanks for such an awesome update. You and sithlord have been on my mind for a while and I am glad to hear that you are doing good.

Thanks for the update.

So glad you're doing well.

And one last thing:

Mmmmm... Kittens ;-)

Tom in Paris

Good damn story, too.

Wonderful news! Patience and unconditional love got you there! Well, maybe the kitten snacking helped.

WOO HOO!

Love hearing good news first thing in the morning. I'll bet son # three is well on his way out. Son #1 will more than likely throw in the towel, eventually, with his wife and "kitten eating ; )" family showing a better examples of love and compassion than his corporate, money grubbing religion. It just takes a little time.

Look forward to hearing about the day you have your whole family out ! My fingers are firmly crossed for you.

Congratulations!

Kitten: it's what's for exmo breakfast!

Sure beats the ward Christmas ham dinner.

Our former ward dropped the ward dinner and has only had a christmas breakfast for the past years, last year they decided to only do cereal and donuts. Talk about cheapness.

Such fantastic news!

That's great news! I thought missionaries had to go where they were sent, even if doctors wanted them to be stateside. Anyway, you'll save money that would have been used on the mission.

What happy news.

Good news indeed!

Excellent news! Thanks for sharing this update!

Fantastic news,

I have been following your progress from the sidelines, it's wonderful to hear that things are working out.

The ward reaction to your son's decision could be the stimulus for him. To date he has been lauded as a faithful hero; BUT, TBMs can be almost guaranteed to treat mission-refusers or early returnees badly. There is a good chance that he will be feeling betrayed by the people he thought were his friends, quite soon.

Be there for him, and express dismay when it happens, not anything he could interpret as "gloating", "glee", or "told you so"; let him know you hurt with him and maybe tell him about how you were hurt by similar false friends. Let him know his parents are there no matter what. Maybe some board members have experience with TBM reaction to mission-refusal that could be useful.


(Sorry for piling in with unasked for advice - I am a meddler by nature! You guys have handled this situation brilliantly, and are a source of inspiration for others negotiating family departures)



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/22/2014 07:40PM by spanner.