As the new essay unintentionally hits the fan, Mormons are reeling and responding with their classic denials, claim of victim-hood and their typical repertoire of logical fallacies.

Soon, their favorite defender, the straw man argument will be in full regalia, culminating in a passive aggressive indirect platitude statement (such as doubt your doubts, you have to go around the BOM, etc.) in the next general conference to which members will cling to for life.

Already I have been contacted by members with their "straw man babies". So I have compiled a list of the quorum of the 15 straw men arguments that Mormons are making about this already:

1) It’s not that some girls were married “back then” at age 14. It’s that she was NOT married to Joseph, since he was married to another person who was not aware of the situation. 14 years old were by no means older back then. He had sex with his foster daughter, period. He has sex with the wives of men who he sent away on missions and made the women lie about their liaisons, full stop.

2) Joseph was forced to practice it by an angry angel. Joseph must have been one hell of seer to know to start practicing it before the revelation AND the angry angel came. It’s that none of the 40 women, suspiciously, including Emma, ever saw the angry angel. It's that he didn't have 40 wives, he had one, and 39 KNOWN affairs that he spend most of his time and efforts trying to conceal.

3) It’s not that the church is being "honest". It’s that there is a term for when before you are being honest, for 180+ years.

4) It’s not that some marriages MAY not have had sex, it’s that some did. It’s that some were married to other men and some were children. It’s that the ones that turned him down were destroyed and shunned. It’s that all were coerced or forced to practice it. It's that the church has, for the past 180 years, trying to collect, destroy, deny or file away any reference to these relationships being physical.

5) It’s not that it's OK because Emma accepted it and felt peace about it, it’s that Joseph got her best friend pregnant and did not tell Emma, and she in turn threw her pregnant friend down the stairs and she miscarried, maybe the peace came after that, or after she threw Fanny Algers on the street. Maybe the peace came after she left the church.

6) It’s not that people are demanding that Joseph smith be perfect, it’s that maybe a convicted con-man, polygamist, bank defrauder, fugitive, liar, pedophile, wife-thief, serial adulterer, plagiarist and murderer might not be the best person to trust with a story about an invisible gold book. it was Jesus when speaking on how to tell false prophets that said "by their fruits ye shall know them"...well, here's your sign.

7) It’s not that it was about raising children, or marrying a virgin, or being approved by the first wife, or about being more women than men or that it was OK after 1834…because NONE of those applied to Joseph.

8) It’s not that it is OK because “it was a long time ago”. It’s that it happened at all. It’s that those girls were children. It’s that it was a revelation and then he denied over and over and in May 1844 (he had 30+ wives by then) he offered to prove his accusers to be perjurers and to provide (falsified) affidavits.

9) It’s not OK because you have a testimony. It’s that your testimony is based on a fictitious character carefully created by the church media department. If you have a testimony, you don’t know the real Joseph.

10) It’s not about the church discontinuing the practice by the commandment of God. It was that they were forced to by the US government and therefore it shows that the church will change its history, doctrine, practices, and policies to make sure that the corporation survives.

11) It’s not that it is not practiced now. It’s that Gordon Hinckley lied on national TV a few years ago and said it was only practiced after they came out West and it was not doctrinal. Well, the thing is that an angel appearing 3 times is pretty doctrinal and so is The DOCTRINE and COVENANTS,which is canonized doctrine. It's that thousands of now ex-Mormons were excommunicated, attacked, gas-lighted, called names and shunned for even suggesting what these essays contain.

12) It’s not that it’s a fleck of history. It’s that thousands of children suffer in sexual relationships with adults in cults TODAY because of the practices and doctrines you cowardly failed to address, up until now, and which your founders taught as a requirement to enter heaven.

13) It’s not about polygamy; it’s about your church pretending that they are the defender of monogamous marriage, between one man and one woman as stating that this has always been so. It’s that you are stepping on the civil rights of others, just like you did those women, all in the name of religion. You can't claim those relationships to be marriages and at the same time, use your sudden love for the law, to deny other people their right to marry, so, pick a side.

14) Is not that the church has abandoned it. It’s that the concept of men forcing women and children into their bed using revelation is "a thing" in your doctrine. It’s about Warren Jeffs being JUST like Joseph Smith. He did not die an innocent lamb at the hands of evil men, he died because he slept with children and other men's wives, he died because he violated masonic oaths, he died because when his adultery was exposed by his former close associate, whose wife he tried to shag, he destroyed the printing press. It's that men can be sealed to more than one woman TODAY in the temple and women can't do the same.

15) It is not that the media and world does not understand Mormonism; it’s that you don’t understand Mormonism.



Edited 14 time(s). Last edit at 11/12/2014 05:53PM by sb.

Wow. Just, WOW. This is brilliantly stated. I want to post it directly to Huffington Post.

Those are the comments that will never, ever dawn on a TBM. And beyond that, even if they are shown these comments they will never, ever embrace them. I know this from a very reliable source: My TBM wife, whom I love dearly. I just don't understand what goes on inside her head when it comes to anything Mormon.

I believe that if the Mormon church were to take the proper responsibility for polygamy in the United States, especially the Mormon West. Polygamy would come to an end, or at least be in extreme decline.

Mormons are in charge of the law enforcement bureacracies of that Region and Mormon polygamy has grown under their management.

The video of Hinckley and King showmthat Hinckley feels no responsibility for the ongoing polygamy. The Mormon prophet started polygamy it will take a Mormon prophet to end polygamy.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/12/2014 01:15PM by gentlestrength.

This statement isn't really true. The political mormons do not like polygamy and don't protect it. It's a stain on the public face of modern Mormonism. However, there is a strong strain of Western "don't tread on me" feeling in the very rural places that polygamy inhabits. When a prosecutor takes on polygamy there is strong push-back from the get-the-government-out-of-our-lives libertarians. Ultimately, polygamy is a women's issue. Women's issues are low profile in rural Utah.

You are wrong. I have spoken to the two former attorney generals about it and they defend it by ignoring the practice.They know that if they go there, the open up the lid to the church's past. They could have had it squashed in a second.

I'm curious. If polygamy has been ignored in Utah, why did Warren Jeffs have to move to Texas?

Why is there a Chicago temple if the Mormons were kicked out of Illinois!?

There are over 50,000 polygamists in Utah.

If you are curious, google it.

GREAT ARTICLE! Please don't let it get buried. And YES, publish it on the various news sites under comments sections! Contains
All the logical answers to TBM inadequate replies.

I'm blocking and copying it and putting it on FB right now. It's on there now. So now my lovely family has the ball in their court. Thanks for offering me every hit back when the ball is back in mine. There is no way to spin this to make it look OK.

I laughed about #6, but this is so powerful that I am crying now.
sb - you have nailed it so well. This is so well said and so powerful.

Those girls back then really lived, really had feelings, had emotions, had sex with JS against their will. They matter! Just because it was a long time ago doesn't mean it doesn't matter. I know it doesn't matter to LD$, but if it were a real religion, it would.
Thanks for allowing everyone to see that YES THEY MATTER.

I Just posted it on my polygamist cousin's in Colorado City's FB page. Now the shit will hit the fan.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/12/2014 04:08PM by verilyverily.

Thank you! I'd love to see the responses on your FB.

Perfect

number 9 is the best of the lot:
"if you have a testimony, you dont know the real Joseph"

That is so spot on.

Yes it is. No one will listen though. Apparently, until the book of Mormon is explained away to perfection, tbms will keep using it to dismiss all criticism of the man.

Utterly brilliant! I am saving this.

Wow! That's everything in a nutshell. Thank you for posting!

Excellent! I was envisioning someone just blown over, laying flat on their back on the floor!

Sadly, when the COMMUNITY of the church is the most important thing to someone, they will do anything to avoid losing that community. It is the only world they know and it is their identity.

So they're just going to close their eyes, put their hands over their ears and go NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH !

They can. people will believe in Mormonism, all they have to do is want to...


...however...

The days of coming to someone's door and pretend to be logical are over. If they believe its because they are crazy, no because it makes any sense or because it is right. They can use all the fake logic and blubber tears of confirmation and testify of what happened 180 years ago all they want... conning a logical person will be almost impossible now that the cards are on the table, they have lost the moral, logical and historical upper hand.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/12/2014 06:00PM by sb.

I agree. Missionaries will need to take off for some R&R for the next 3 months... ehhh just pack your bags and go home unless you are in a cool country. Pretend to go out, make up some numbers and go sight seeing like crazy. It's over.

Upping