I think it's crazy to have a family who treats you like that. Two of my 3 siblings just act like they don't know I left (but they do cause my wife told them)
My mom hasn't really said much and my in-laws (FIL is a bishop) haven't said a word which I am surprised about.
So I have been pretty much left alone.....except for the wife. Who the last week or two hasn't said much on the matter.
I was considering doing the same thing for my TBM parents and siblings who do not yet know how far gone I really am from TSCC.
Hey - Would you have any tips or do anything differently or even the same?
My goal would be to go for a sort of truce where afterwards they acknowledge there are legit issues and they put the prayers on behalf of my eternal salvation to rest.
The conversation really couldn't have gone any other way.
My dad doesn't understand the reasons we left even though I explained it to him a year ago. I've been an active member for 35+ years. He thinks I left to sin. Me showing him that the church is finally acknowledging the reasons we left didn't change his mentality.
In his mind the church saved his life because his family was pretty messed up. So he thinks he owes everything to it because the church changed his life. Which is partly true. Me leaving is a slap in the face to him so he can't fathom why I don't take my family to the church or any other church. He told me that my children are pretty much damned and won't have the life I had.
It was worse than that. He basically started a "who's dick is bigger" contest, asking me what I've given in my life and what do I contribute since I don't "tithe" anymore. He started bragging how much he has given and asking how my children are going to know what it means to be charitable without attending a church.
Next time I'm going to have to just record the conversation and then transcribe it. It was all over the place. Crazy crazy talk. Plus my dad is very intimidating and loves to argue.
I am thinking of the same for mine and the siblings. But I think it would need to be brought up more as a question than a statement of fact so it is less confrontational. Perhaps something along the lines of "I don't know what to make of the church essay on..." to start.
Not sure your story, but after I started attending a different church, my family sent email saying I was evil, etc. They deleted me on Facebook, etc. Not all but most.
They just can't bring themselves to admit all the lies of TSCC.
My parents also think the video of the garments was "awesome!"
So they are lost. It's a bummer but I try not to think about it. They had their crazy arguments with me a year ago and now we just agreed tonight never to speak about religion ever.
This essay brought "contention" into their home according to them.
I asked them "would the article have brought contention if I was still a member and I showed it to you?"
We are talking about baby boomers who took 30 minutes to find the page on lds.org even after I sent them the link via text.
And they still couldn't admit that the article said he had sex with other mens wives even while they read it. Then they asked who these women were. So I told them to go read the "evil internet" and find out for themselves.
this was also after telling me that they "already knew about this" and "everyone at church knows this stuff".
When I told my dad about the "Joseph Smith papers" the church released a few years ago and are still releasing he told me he read all that back when he was in high school in the 60's. He had no idea what I was talking about.
My parents don't know about any of the essays. My dad likes to brag he knows it all because he has been a gospel doctrine teacher for over 20 years. Whats sad is he doesn't know shite.
I think of all the kooky defenses of Jammin Jo Jo, the "he never had sex with the other wives" one could take the cake. So these Victorian women testified in court, to a Victorian judge, jury, public etc... That they did in fact have sex with Joe. But they lied?
My TBM mother once told me that she was as disappointed with me for leaving the church as she is with my TM older brother for raping me, our younger brother and several other kids.
I told her to retract that comment or never see me again.
If she were ever to tell me that my children were damned, it would be the last conversation we would have.
I've long decided that I will never again argue with a TBM about the Church. There's no use in using arguments, facts or logic. It will ALWAYS end in enmity.
Despite your best efforts, I think we're all agreed with the conclusion that discussing religion with your folks won't end well for anyone. As tempting as it is to bring up topics, I think it best to avoid this now and focus the relationship on other things.
If you want to turn a room full of TBM's against each other, ask them all this question: Did Emma know about the other women?
Some will say yes. An admission of Joseph's night side activities. Some will say no. In that case, Joseph violated Sect. 132. Some will say what other women?