Wondering if anyone here has had any experience with the following scenario.
Let's say a couple is sealed in the temple. They get divorced and go their separate ways. If they want to get sealed to someone else the ex-wife has to have the previous sealing canceled or the ex-husband needs to get a sealing clearance.
But what if one of the spouses either resigns or is excommunicated?
Does the above process still apply even though resignation automatically cancels a sealing anyway? And does the ex-spouse somehow find out through the church that their former spouse is no longer a member?

My husband resigned and he was sealed to his ex wife. I have been told by people on this board that resigning doesn't actually cancel the sealing because the person who resigned could decide to go back. If the person went back and was rebaptized, the prior "blessings" and shit would be reinstated.

In my husband's situation, he told his ex that he wanted their sealing cancelled. And she said she was "working with her bishop" so that she could be sealed to her current husband. But some have said that even after one spouse resigns, they may still get paperwork from the church if the other spouse wants to remarry in the temple. For the record, my husband never got anything regarding his ex's desire to be sealed to her third husband. In her case, I'm guessing it's because she'd rather not be sealed to him (#3). She flat out told my husband that she never wanted the divorce that she initiated and never wanted to marry the guy she's with now. And in her little mind, being sealed to my husband still gives her a hold on him in the afterlife and she can taunt #3 by saying she's not sealed to him. But hell, I could be wrong. They could be sealed and all blissful by now.

Someone who has another, more recent, experience will surely chime in.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/26/2014 04:04PM by knotheadusc.

The "shit" is reinstated ONLY if the individual's blessings are restored. Re-baptism isn't enough. It took me 12 years for my blessings to be restored (by Neil Andersen while an A70). However, for me, my ex-wife had already requested a cancellation of sealing, of which I highly approved and was granted!

I just wish I wasn't stoooooooopid enough to crawl back in. I should have stayed out! ("crawl" was chosen on purpose)



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/26/2014 05:26PM by moose.

And... my husband says that in another exmo group he's in, a mother reported that her daughter would be sealed to her stepmom, since mom resigned. But I can't imagine that that will fly for a lot of people, since I can't imagine many parents being okay with their kids being "sealed" to someone else, even though it really is a bunch of hooey.

So it sounds like an ex-wife would have to get the sealing canceled anyway even if her ex-husband were no longer a member.
And it's possible that the ex-wife might find out about the ex-husband's resignation through this process.

I left the church about 15 years ago, and only months after, annulment with then temple-married wife (no kids).

Three years ago I got a letter from her bishop, certified mail, saying she wanted to cancel her sealing to me. I wrote back and said if you're asking for my permission, go for it, wish her well.

FWIW here is the text (which looked like the bishop wrote it himself, it was two paragraphs)

I am Bishop (so-and-so) from the (such-and-such) Ward, (such-and-such) Stake. A request has been made by (her first and last name), one of my members, to start the process of the cancellation of her temple marriage and sealing to you. Several steps are required by the Church in this process. First is the notification to you of her desire of the cancellation. The second step is to ask if there is any requirement of the court of payment of monies by (first name) to you that have not been paid in full. The third request is to ask you if you would like to make any comment regarding this action in writing.

If you would please respond back to me in writing or by phone it would be greatly appreciated. My address is (address). You can call me at my home phone number, (number), or my cell phone, (number), at any time in response to this letter and request.

is there a ceremony for cancellation of a sealing? or is it just divine paperwork?

<snort>

No ceremony.

I think there is a ceremony

If I recall right, it involves jumping up and down, dancing a jig and consuming fermented beverages. Followed by a huge smile.

Why does it matter? If they are an ex-spouse, are you concerned that they might disapprove of your resigning?

I would advise thinking as little as possible about an ex-spouse, so that you can move on with your own life. Seriously, don't worry about what they think, what they know or what they think they know. You aren't married anymore, so none of it matters.

ain't that easy.

I was married & faithful to TBM(?) ex.; nine kids.

I've been lied to by both church & her, what am I supposed to do?

I'm not a Robot, I'm a human being with feelings, emotions of love & wanting better things, for the sake of All Involved.

The LDS church is a Lying Machine, that OKs lies of it's members (temple recommend). That doesn't sit well with me.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/26/2014 10:21PM by GNPE.

Doesn't matter if they disapprove of the resignation or not, they will know that the person has resigned and might tell others about it, whom they would rather not know about it.

Um, actually, it's incredibly relevant.

When the Fourth District Judge (in utah of course) tells me, in court, that his decision on whether he will grant me visitation rights or not is dependent on whether I take the kids to church on the weekends that they're with me, then yea, it's ridiculously relevant.

So yes, I had to be continuously concerned with what my ex knew, and what the family court system in utah knew, about me and the church.

Youngest is now 18. I finally, finally, am able to be open about my beliefs and life, with my kids most importantly.

(And for the record, me and the kids never once attended church while they were with me on my weekends. There was no way in hell I was going to waste my precious time with them in a smelly chapel for 3 hours.)

I was temple married, divorced, we moved to seperate states and had no contact. I was later ex'd. A few years later I got a letter saying he was getting married and wanted our sealing cancelled. It did not seem like he or his bishop knew I was ex'd. I already considered our sealing cancelled and was happy to make it official.

I was once in a TBM/temple marriage. I later went through a divorce and resignation process. It's very a strange and confusing process. The LDS church certainly throws salt into your wounds. You might have to notify them that you are divorced--as crazy as that sounds.

Here's my story:

I decided to wait until my divorce was officially finalized before resigning my LDS membership. You see, the divorce was a no-fault filing and I didn't want anything to disrupt the non-combative nature of the proceedings. My disbelieve was what set off the separation and divorce--so why aggravate things at that last moment.

By the time the divorce was finalizing we had been living in different states for several years and had no contact with each other. I hadn't attended an LDS church in several years and had no idea where my records were even located--and I didn't even know the location of the nearest LDS chapel or temple. So I sent my resignation letter directly to LDS headquarters via certified mail.

However, one week after COB received my resignation letter, I started receiving invites, ward bulletins, and etc. via mail in my ex-spouses name! And then the bishop, home teachers, missionaries and etc. came looking for my ex-spouse! My ex-spouse didn't even know my address and hadn't even lived in the state.

You can be sure that I called more than a few folks at COB to voice my displeasure. It turns out that member records doesn't know you get divorced unless you actually tell them. When COB processed my resignation they transferred my ex-spouse's records to my address. It turns out they my ex-spouse had gone inactive and moved a few times and my ex-spouse's records were in the infamous "lost records" file. When an address finally popped up for me when I sent my resignation letter, the system automatically assigned my ex-spouse to my address as we were endowed/sealed. To make matters worse, COB refused to transfer my ex-spouses records back to the "lost records" file--they wanted an actual, physical address for my ex-spouse's records.

So, me, as a resigned, former member of the LDS church, and a divorcee, I had to send another letter to SLC (cc'ing the local ward I had never attended) instructing them to transfer my ex-spouses records to a known address--I used my ex-spouses parent's house as I remembered that address.

I don't think the LDS church needs to know of your whereabouts or what the status of your relationship even is. However, if they don't know you are divorced their computer system will keep trying to reunite you and your ex-spouse!

Those going through a divorce might benefit from making sure that gets noted in your LDS records if you want to head off unwanted mail and visitors for your ex-spouse.

I testify to you that this is true, in the name of minding your peace and quiet, amen.

Chapter and Verse??? It's ALL complete Bull$$it. Who get sealed to whom or "un" sealed is a shell game at best. It all depends on who is in charge...the big$hit, the Stale President, who knows and who 'likes' who. The game children play are more meaningful and exciting.

You can't win with TSCC. After we die, all that "shit" will be reinstated by some deluded Mormon relative.

I know it annoys you to think people actually believe you are still sealed to someone who beat you or cheated on you, and even worse to know that TBM inlaws and other family members think that your own children are sealed to some person they've never met. The only way to obliterate these evil notions is to wipe out the Mormon church altogether. Actually, I pray for that every day.

All we can do is TELL TSCC THAT IT IS ALL NULL AND VOID. In my resignation letter, I declared that I and my children had nothing to do with the Mormon church or any of the temple ordinances. My children, at least, know that they are not sealed to a stranger who is not their father, a stranger who beat, raped, and strangled me, years before they were born. What kind of idiots believe garbage such as this? Brainwashed cult members, that's who.

The only insurance you might have is to do what we did: formally resign from LDS, get baptized into another church, and put your names on the "Do Not Baptize" list. Plan your funeral to take place anywhere but in a Mormon church, assign the speakers, and put it in your will. I paid for mine, already. You can write in your will that none of my money is to be donated or given as tithe to the Mormon church. Still, they'll do it to us anyway.