Posted by:
Visitor001
(
)
Date: November 02, 2014 12:22AM
Hey Guys!
I attended the wedding of one of my old friends from high school today. Although we haven't been close since graduation, we reconnected on Facebook a few years ago and now both live in the same city. His family is what many on this board would call "Pioneer Stock," and I believe he told me once that he is descended from Brigham Young. The bride's family, on the other hand, is less distinguished. Clearly, one of her parents comes from a long line of TBMs while the other is a convert to the LDS Religion. Thus, half of her family would have been unable to attend a temple wedding. So, in what was obviously a compromise, the couple agreed to have an "Exchange of Vows" today at a local wedding venue followed by a temple sealing a few days from now.
Because I am not now, nor have I ever been a Mormon, there is no way I could have witnessed my friend's temple wedding ... and though I care deeply about my friend, I would have never subjected myself to the degrading experience of sitting in the temple lobby while he and his wife were married. This is why I appreciated that they decided to have a non-denominational commitment ceremony to share their special occasion with their non-Mormon friends and relatives. However, although this was not a specifically Mormon event, I would estimate that perhaps 80% of the people there were Mormons. Knowing there would be a substantial number of Mormons present, I deliberately dressed myself in a way that was sure to offend their sensibilities.
1) Hair: I've had my hair long for over a decade now. It's not scraggly or unkempt, but it comes down below my ears and swoops outward. Definitely a far cry from the buzz cuts and fauxhawks favored by Mormon men my age (early 20's). I definitely had the longest hair of any male in the entire gathering.
2) Shirt / Tie: I've seen numerous posts on this website regarding the Mormon obsession with white dress shirts, so I was determined not to wear one. I ended up settling on a shirt that's best described as a dark shade of turquoise, which I paired with a gold tie with turquoise paisley patterns and a matching pocket-square. Sure enough, my shirt and tie combination stood out in the crowd. Although I did notice a few adventurous souls wearing more conservative shades of blue, most had white shirts and monochromatic ties with plain, geometric patterns. I was also the only man aside from the wedding party to wear a pocket-square of any kind.
3) Suit: I wore a three-piece suit that is such a light shade of gray that it looks almost white from some angles. The suit is specially tailored and very form-fitting. As I sat in my chair, I saw that many of the other men in attendance wore drab, ill-fitting suits of black, navy, or charcoal. As I watched them adjust their clothing, I couldn't help but notice that many of the Mormon men were very obese, even the younger ones.
4) Hat: I wore a fedora that's a slightly darker shade of gray than my suit. Both the service and the reception were outside, so I had the hat on my lap during the actual ceremony but put it back on my head when it was over. I got a lot of dirty looks from older men, but some of the younger men complimented me.
5) Jewelry: I wore two rather conspicuous pieces of jewelry for this occasion: a pocketwatch and a lapel pin, both of which are silver. I draped the pocketwatch chain across the front of my waistcoat where it could be easily seen, and made a point of pulling the watch out whenever someone cast an inquiring look in my direction. The lapel pin was obviously very conspicuous, and probably would have gone unnoticed but for the fact that it's in the shape of a cross. I have long known of the Mormon aversion to crosses, and wore this particular pin today just to test how people would react to it. Of course, no one made any direct comments ... but I did notice that quite a few people would steal quick glances at my chest before immediately averting their eyes.
6) Shoes: I wore a pair of black shoes (to match my belt) that I polished to a high shine. I suppose that the couple was going for a kind of hipster-chique look for the wedding party, because the groomsmen all wore plain shoes of brown leather. Other men wore black or brown dress shoes, but none were of the kind that has to be polished regularly.
Despite my obvious efforts to flaunt Mormon social expectations, I have to say that I was generally well-received by the Mormons I met. A small crowd of mostly young men (16-17 to early 20's) gathered around me at the reception ... whether they regarded me as a missionary effort or simply as a curious oddity I cannot say. Although I did not set out with his objective, I hope that my little fashion show demonstrated to young men like the ones who flocked around me that it is possible to present yourself to the world in a dignified manner without adhering to the "Mormon Mold."
Thanks for reading.