Hey Guys!

I attended the wedding of one of my old friends from high school today. Although we haven't been close since graduation, we reconnected on Facebook a few years ago and now both live in the same city. His family is what many on this board would call "Pioneer Stock," and I believe he told me once that he is descended from Brigham Young. The bride's family, on the other hand, is less distinguished. Clearly, one of her parents comes from a long line of TBMs while the other is a convert to the LDS Religion. Thus, half of her family would have been unable to attend a temple wedding. So, in what was obviously a compromise, the couple agreed to have an "Exchange of Vows" today at a local wedding venue followed by a temple sealing a few days from now.

Because I am not now, nor have I ever been a Mormon, there is no way I could have witnessed my friend's temple wedding ... and though I care deeply about my friend, I would have never subjected myself to the degrading experience of sitting in the temple lobby while he and his wife were married. This is why I appreciated that they decided to have a non-denominational commitment ceremony to share their special occasion with their non-Mormon friends and relatives. However, although this was not a specifically Mormon event, I would estimate that perhaps 80% of the people there were Mormons. Knowing there would be a substantial number of Mormons present, I deliberately dressed myself in a way that was sure to offend their sensibilities.

1) Hair: I've had my hair long for over a decade now. It's not scraggly or unkempt, but it comes down below my ears and swoops outward. Definitely a far cry from the buzz cuts and fauxhawks favored by Mormon men my age (early 20's). I definitely had the longest hair of any male in the entire gathering.

2) Shirt / Tie: I've seen numerous posts on this website regarding the Mormon obsession with white dress shirts, so I was determined not to wear one. I ended up settling on a shirt that's best described as a dark shade of turquoise, which I paired with a gold tie with turquoise paisley patterns and a matching pocket-square. Sure enough, my shirt and tie combination stood out in the crowd. Although I did notice a few adventurous souls wearing more conservative shades of blue, most had white shirts and monochromatic ties with plain, geometric patterns. I was also the only man aside from the wedding party to wear a pocket-square of any kind.

3) Suit: I wore a three-piece suit that is such a light shade of gray that it looks almost white from some angles. The suit is specially tailored and very form-fitting. As I sat in my chair, I saw that many of the other men in attendance wore drab, ill-fitting suits of black, navy, or charcoal. As I watched them adjust their clothing, I couldn't help but notice that many of the Mormon men were very obese, even the younger ones.

4) Hat: I wore a fedora that's a slightly darker shade of gray than my suit. Both the service and the reception were outside, so I had the hat on my lap during the actual ceremony but put it back on my head when it was over. I got a lot of dirty looks from older men, but some of the younger men complimented me.

5) Jewelry: I wore two rather conspicuous pieces of jewelry for this occasion: a pocketwatch and a lapel pin, both of which are silver. I draped the pocketwatch chain across the front of my waistcoat where it could be easily seen, and made a point of pulling the watch out whenever someone cast an inquiring look in my direction. The lapel pin was obviously very conspicuous, and probably would have gone unnoticed but for the fact that it's in the shape of a cross. I have long known of the Mormon aversion to crosses, and wore this particular pin today just to test how people would react to it. Of course, no one made any direct comments ... but I did notice that quite a few people would steal quick glances at my chest before immediately averting their eyes.

6) Shoes: I wore a pair of black shoes (to match my belt) that I polished to a high shine. I suppose that the couple was going for a kind of hipster-chique look for the wedding party, because the groomsmen all wore plain shoes of brown leather. Other men wore black or brown dress shoes, but none were of the kind that has to be polished regularly.

Despite my obvious efforts to flaunt Mormon social expectations, I have to say that I was generally well-received by the Mormons I met. A small crowd of mostly young men (16-17 to early 20's) gathered around me at the reception ... whether they regarded me as a missionary effort or simply as a curious oddity I cannot say. Although I did not set out with his objective, I hope that my little fashion show demonstrated to young men like the ones who flocked around me that it is possible to present yourself to the world in a dignified manner without adhering to the "Mormon Mold."

Thanks for reading.

Sounds like you were fabulously dressed!

Thanks! I actually thought about strolling in with my silver-tipped black cane as well ... but I thought that might have been a bit too much.

Nah, a silver-tipped black cane would've been fine.

A monocle might have been over the top, though.

I suppose they wouldn't admit to getting it on prior to the temple thing... which doesn't cheapen the commitment ceremony, but still reflects the cult's control of sexuality.

For weddings, my hair's already long, but I don't tie it back, I stop shaving when I get the invite, and all my First Nations silver comes out of the drawer. I'm like Jesus with Nephite adornment!

I'd bet a substantial sum of money that my friend and his wife have been *cough* active for a pretty long time. Even though his family is TBM, he has never struck me as a particularly enthusiastic member of the religion. He did go on a mission, but not all that willingly from what I understand. He doesn't drink or smoke, but he does let the occasional curse word slip and even admitted to me that he masturbated while we were still in high school. I was surprised to see him sporting a beard for yesterday's ceremony ... Based on the comments I have seen on this board, I was under the impression that facial hair is verboten for Mormon men. I wonder if that was perhaps one small act of rebellion on his part.

I thought those sorts of ring exchange ceremonies were not allowed before the temple sealing, only after. Supposing they had sex after that but, before the temple sealing? Would they face church discipline?

Sounds like you looked wonderful. Mormon men don't tend to put a lot of effort into their appearance, although I've known a few guys who regularly showed up looking terrific. I think it's a combination of not having many good examples, losing a lot of their wardrobe money to tithing, having too much else to worry about and with a lot of them, the feeling that their commitment to the gospel and giant priesthoods entitle them to a beautifully righteous woman so why bother. I mean, everyone wants a worthy priesthood holder, no matter how they are dressed, right?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/02/2014 02:45AM by CA girl.

Looking around at the assembled crowd yesterday, I did notice that many attractive Mormon women were married to very plain or downright frumpy looking men. It's amazing to me that men who can score women like that don't undertake every effort to make themselves as attractive as they can possibly be.

Next on your agenda: a Mormon funeral.

You must be in Europe. In the US, the temple ceremony must take place BEFORE any ring ceremony--otherwise the couple has to wait an entire year before going to the temple. During that year, they are gossiped about. The rumors fly--she must be pregnant, or they were morally unclean, or unworthy for a number of reasons. They punish the couple, as a deterrent to other couples. Why? Because statistics show that if a Mormon couple gets married outside the temple first, they probably won't bother to get married in the temple at all, ever.

I actually live in Southern Florida. The groom and I are originally from suburban Dallas, but after high school he went to BYU while I attended the University of Miami. After college, I stayed in the Miami area and he ended up moving here for work. He met his wife while attending a local Mormon church. She grew up in one of the coastal communities north of Miami, so that's why they decided to have the ring ceremony here.

Several people have commented that Mormons who elect to have another wedding ceremony in addition to their temple sealing must have such services after visiting the temple. After seeing posts like this, I thought that I must have misunderstood my friend when he told me his temple ceremony would take place after the ring ceremony but before his honeymoon. However, when I looked on Facebook today I saw that one of my friend's Mormon relatives had written this post on his wall:

"So glad we got to join you and ----- yesterday to watch you exchange rings and vows. It's obvious you love each other very much ... but just wait, soon you'll be sealed together for eternity!"

What do you make of that?

Yea!

My first thought too - must not be in the promised land, having a civil ceremony before the temple sealing.

Sounds like you looked fantastic!

I married my Catholic husband in a non denominational church on a military base. We had a non-mass Catholic wedding.
I wore off the shoulder dress and my sisters chose spaghetti straps for their bridesmaid dresses.My TBM mother sulked the whole time. Dad, who is probably only still active because he wants peace at home, insisted she attend gracefully. She got the last laugh though. The priest gave her the wedding certificate to look after, and she "lost" it. We had to make statutory declarations a week later, to register the wedding.

Now THAT'S style.

It sounds like you conducted yourself with a lot of class, too (the removal of the hat during the ceremony). I appreciate that kind of class and dignity. Mormons know reverence, but dignity? No way. I guarantee to you that a few of those guys noticed your style and felt twinges of envy.

Thanks for saying so! If it wasn't clear, my goal was to announce myself as a non-Mormon as loudly as possible while still dressing appropriately for the event. It seems that I succeeded. I also have a large collection of hats (not baseball hats, but fedoras, panamas, even a bowler or two) that I wear quite often. I know it's not something most people do nowadays, so I am every conscious to remove my hat whenever I'm indoors or at any kind of religious event. My hat did seem to seem to be an object of fascination after the ceremony ... a couple guys even asked me where I bought it. Perhaps we'll be seeing a few fedoras at the local Mormon church next Sunday!

At a friends catholic wedding watched one person get in the face of a mormon friend who was there and jumping him about an angel moroni tie tac. Probably the only tie tac the guy had - and this Catholic character really took offense.

No offense was intended and the guy with the tie tac left as he was being yelled at for it.

I can imaging what he told his lds friends and neighbors about Catholics after that. He lives in Brigham City and this happened in Ogden, UT.

If this had happened in a Catholic Church outside of Utah, I doubt there would be anyone who would recognize then tie tack at all.

Weddings typically involve folks from other religions coming to the event. So non-Catholics of any number of stripes would be expected at a Catholic wedding.

This guy's weird inappropriate anger outburst makes me think that there is a dangerously angry Catholic guy living in Utah who should find a more peaceful place to live. His anger towards Mormons (whatever the reason) isn't good for him or anyone else.

That's not typical Catholic behavior. Catholics are used to having people of different denominations and faiths at their weddings. The weddings are open, after all.

I agree, that's not typical Catholic behavior as they're used to seeing non-Catholics attend weddings as they're open to anyone the couple wants to invite. Catholics are likely to push their religion down the throats of their own children, but they don't harass their non-Catholic neighbors, co-workers, etc.

Love it when men take a risk with fashion (meaning express themselves at all) esp with one of the 50 shades of gray.
love a pocket watch. I want one and i'm a girl. bravo.

mormon men are fashion cowards....you'll never know, but maybe there'll be some turqoise ties in church today.

Vestis virum redd*t.

"Red*it" is apparently a banned word on RfM.

Ooo i love pocket watches!

Love the outfit, but if the event was indoors, I can understand people scowling at the hat. Gentlemen don't wear hats indoors. *still hears Marine father barking, "Cover off!" when she came inside the house in a baseball cap*

Exceptions: people who wear a hat as part of a uniform that are performing their duties indoors (think military Honor Guard at a church funeral) and ladies wearing ladies' hats.

The OP specifically stated the wedding was outdoors and he purposely removed his hat for the ceremony. He did nothing inappropriate.

Gah! I missed that both the device *and* reception were outside. In that case, I still love the outfit and will support the OPs right to wear his chapeau with pride and élan.

*service, not device. Ye gods and little fishes, I hate taking cold medication. *goes off to play with spoons in the corner as that's all she should be trusted with*

I don't know how I managed to get the spam prevention code as my screen name (more coffee!), but that last was me. *wanders ever coffee-ward*

DANG!!!!! ;-) No doubt you stole the show. Nice job! I would have loved to see that.

My niece is getting married January 2nd in the temple. They are going to have a ceremony for the grooms side of the family because he's a convert. A let you know if it's before or after the temple.