Showed up at work this morning. Some die hard TBM's were pretzel twisting their brains to explain away the polygamy essay in the Tribune.

One of the comments; "But Joseph Smith didn't want to do it, he was commanded to by that angel with the sword".

It was quite interesting to listen to, from people who never showed any hint of questioning the religion, EVER.

So Joseph was forced to bang all those women....?

That angel could have been holding a spoon and Joe still would not put up much of a fight.

I can hear it now...."Emma, Jesus wanted me to bang all those chicks or the angel would kill me"

Emma: "You should died like a man....and now I am going to poison your coffee"

But Joseph didn't drink coffee. It is against the Word of Wisdom. Stop reading that anti stuff.

Good one, bona dea, good one.

If those girls were your daughters or sisters etc. Wouldn't you want to beat the sh!t out of the guy. Or tar and feather him.... Some of the history is starting to make sense, why he was so persecuted.

EXACTLY. The persecution wasn't about Mormon's spiritual beliefs... There were all kinds of crazy new sects popping up that weren't persecuted the way Mormons claim they were themselves.

Mormons were persecuted because of their abominations against traditional marriage and all of the other scandalous behavior Joseph engaged in, and led the members in to.

Yes, it makes sense why they chased him down. If it was my 14-year-old daughter, or my 16-year-old daughter, and some grown man was sniffing around - he'd get to explain his intentions to the Mossberg 935. Especially if it was a grown man who was "translating" books using a rock in a hat.

Polygamy was a big factor,but there were other issues such as Mormons determining elections by voting in a block, Mormon military power,and the standoffish attitude as well as the slavery issue in Missouri

He would be dead and I would be in prison.

Ask them, "if someone were in your neighborhood doing with the
wives and daughters in YOUR neighborhood what Joseph Smith was
doing in Nauvoo, would you want him arrested and punished to the
full extent of the law, or would you make excuses for him and
say that normal morality and laws shouldn't apply in his case?"

If they say, "yeah but this is different," tell them, "that
should be the slogan on Utah license plates "BUT THIS IS
DIFFERENT." If this hypothetical sexual predator in your
neighborhood used the defense, "yes, but this is different,"
would that make any difference to you? What would you think of
people who supported him?

"What do you think of people who support Warren Jeffs? That's
what you should think of people who support Joseph Smith's
sexual predator antics."

^^ This to the umpteenth ^^

Brigham Young was smart enough to realize that the people around them weren't going to fall for his perversion.

He packed everyone up and drug them across the country out of the way of laws, and law enforcement. He had a hey day collecting women in the name of God.

Exactly! +100

Just imagine leaving everything behind in the old world with all these promises of the promised land. As a woman you leave England endure a terrible journey, then you end up having to marry some man with all these other women.
However, you have no money or resources as you spend everything to get to the "promised land".

While I think the "angel with a sword" defense is about the most laughable excuse I can imagine and I have no idea how they say that with a straight face in this day and age, I am dying to ask a TBM who buys that excuse this:

What IF that was a test Joe failed? Maybe he was supposed to tell the angel "take my life. That is wrong and I refuse to participate". Because that is what a man of courage and integrity would have done.

<snort> Brilliant!



'What IF that was a test Joe failed? Maybe he was supposed to tell the angel "take my life. That is wrong and I refuse to participate". Because that is what a man of courage and integrity would have done.'


Not to mention what a chaste man would have done ...

How was he even ABLE to obey? if you catch my drift.

A man of integrity would be anatomically incapable.

That is brilliant indeed. Abraham was about to filet his son on a rock because God told him to, but hey! This was only a test!

Joe Smith put at least two of his associates thorough hell with a "test" (you know, like God did with Abraham, because, you know, only God and JS can pull crap like that):

"The Prophet went to the home of President Taylor, and said to him, 'Brother John, I WANT LEONORA.'" Taylor was stunned, but after walking the floor all night, the obedient elder said to Smith, "If GOD wants Leonora He can have her." Woodruff concluded: "That was all the prophet was after, to see where President Taylor stood in the matter, and said to him, Brother Taylor, I don't want your wife, I just wanted to know just where you stood."

"Sometime in late 1840 or early 1841, Joseph Smith confided to his friend that he was smitten by the "amiable and accomplished" Sarah Pratt and wanted her for "one of his spiritual wives, for the Lord had given her to him as a special favor for his faithfulness" (emphasis in original). Shortly afterward, the two men took some of Bennett's sewing to Sarah's house. During the visit, as Bennett describes it, Joseph said, "Sister Pratt, the Lord has given you to me as one of my spiritual wives. I have the blessings of Jacob granted me, as God granted holy men of old, and as I have long looked upon you with favor, and an earnest desire of connubial bliss, I hope you will not repulse or deny me." "And is that the great secret that I am not to utter," Sarah replied. "Am I called upon to break the marriage covenant, and prove recreant to my lawful husband! I never will." She added, "I care not for the blessings of Jacob. I have one good husband, and that is enough for me." But according to Bennett, the Prophet was persistent. Finally Sarah angrily told him on a subsequent visit, "Joseph, if you ever attempt any thing of the kind with me again, I will make a full disclosure to Mr. Pratt on his return home. Depend upon it, I will certainly do it." "Sister Pratt," the Prophet responded, "I hope you will not expose me, for if I suffer, all must suffer; so do not expose me. Will you promise me that you will not do it?" "If you will never insult me again," Sarah replied, "I will not expose you unless strong circumstances should require it." "If you should tell," the Prophet added, "I will ruin your reputation, remember that."

Wow, quotes and everything, hey, I feel like a regular Steve Benson Burner!

Oops, pasted the wrong article!

“During the summer of 1841, shortly after Heber's return from England, he was introduced to the doctrine of plural marriage directly through a startling test-a sacrifice which shook his very being and challenged his faith to the ultimate. He had already sacrificed homes, possessions, friends, relatives, all worldly rewards, peace, and tranquility for the Restoration. Nothing was left to place on the altar save his life, his children, and his wife. Joseph demanded for himself what to Heber was the unthinkable, his Vilate. Totally crushed spiritually and emotionally, Heber touched neither food nor water for three days and three nights and continually sought confirmation and comfort from God." Finally, after "some kind of assurance," Heber took Vilate to the upper room of Joseph's store on Water Street. The Prophet wept at this act of faith, devotion, and obedience. Joseph had never intended to take Vilate. It was all a test."

Use the Farce, Joey.

Lightsabers are a dime a dozen on Kolob.

The angel with the flaming sword story ranks right along with these excuses:

"The devil made me do it!"
"The dog ate my homework."
"It was the effects of my new medication."
"It was doctor's orders."

I always wondered how the conversation with the flaming sword fairy went. Maybe something like this

JS: Gee angel do I really have to have sex with a teenager? I have already complied with the polygamy commandment on multiple occasions. Must I really?

angle: Oh yes you must because of my flamiest of swords.

JS: (reluctantly) OK I guess ... if I have too.

One thing you can say in ole sleazy Joe's favor is that guy had one wild imagination. Flaming swords has quite the ring to it.

Is this the same angel that taught him about shaking hands as a test of the angel's being of god or the devil?

If he had tried to shake hands with the angel who was weilding the flaming sword, the angel would have had to put the sword down and then Joseph could have grabbed the sword, using his magic hat as an oven mitt, and killed the angel with it the way Nephi cut Laban.

Gotta watch out for those angels.

Honestly--from Moroni to this angel with a flaming sword. What rot.

Of course, the flaming sword could have been a euphemism, and then the story gets a whole lot worse.

Did JS, himself, say that an angel visited him 3 times, or did 3 of his WIVES say that JS had told them the line about the angel?

I think in that essay it implies that JS told the part about the angel.

I would LOVE to see a video of how JS spoke to people. He must have been SO PERSUASIVE. Guess we'll never know exactly. But so many of them were totally loyal to him - or at least in what they wrote down.

I wonder if he had lived longer if he would have found new and more horrible ways to get people to debase themselves on his whim.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/24/2014 02:06AM by seekyr.

I feel like the LDS scriptures in D&C related to polygamy describe it as being SO important and SO exalted, that I would expect members to express more REGRET that such an important law must be given up.

And I would think they would LOOK FORWARD to one day having it reinstated as soon as possible. And shouldn't they be doing everything they legally can to change the TERRIBLE and UNJUST laws restricting polygamy?

BUT - I NEVER hear any words of regret AT ALL. Members seem to distance themselves just as far from it as they can.

Yes JS FU*KED every woman and GIRL in sight but didn't drink coffee. He did drink alcohol though. He had a bar in his house (a wet bar! HA!) but Emma got P.O.d about it and make him take it out of the house. Too bad all of the girls he molested didn't go with the bar and leave.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/24/2014 02:12AM by verilyverily.

See if this latest essay.... causes any cog dis too.

Many many Jewish people decided to take trains to Auschwitz, a suburb in Poland for a vacation. So many decided to go to Poland that the regular trains were overcrowded and the nice Nazis had to use some of their cattle cars to transport the Jewish people. For some of them, it was quite cold when they arrived in Auschwitz so some decided to go into the large shower house and take a hot shower.

These poor souls did not know that if they had asked, they would have been told by the nice Nazis that some animals were very sick and were scheduled to be gassed to death to prevent the spread of disease. Nobody wanted any Jewish tourists to become sick on their visit to Poland because it would ruin their vacations so precautions were needed.

Unfortunately, the Jewish people who were planning to shower went to the building where the animals were going to be put to death by gas rather than to the big shower building. It always pays to ask about these things. It is unfortunate that they didn't.

The Jewish people were gassed to death instead of the animals that were originally scheduled to be in that gas chamber. The nice Nazis were very apologetic about the entire incident which occurred regularly. When asked why they didn't tell the Jewish people on the incoming trains not to go into the wrong building, their replay was "We don't speak Polish."

After reading all of the horrifying lying essays and especially this latest one, is there anyone who thinks that these NO NAME writers (ashamed to say who they are?) would NOT write the above story?

I've been in LE for 20 years and I have to say that Joseph's excuse for cheating is the best and most original I've ever heard. However, why do Angels still carry swords? Couldn't they just kill with their heavenly super strength or maybe carry a celestial gat??? Hmmmmm...

Why didn't a heavenly messenger appear to EMMA or to any of the potential other wives, to let them know that polygamy was okay and that they should cooperate? Wouldn't that have helped smooth things over? But noooooo . . .

Girl cooties, which apparently have not yet been eradicated in TSCC.

"If those girls were your daughters or sisters etc. Wouldn't you want to beat the sh!t out of the guy." - NO I'd want to slit his slimy throat from EAR TO EAR and DISEMBOWEL him in public all the while screaming PAY LAY ALE at the top of my lungs.