So after resigning they send an elderly couple to my door. Of course no, appointment, just show up, introduce yourself and begin with the intimate questions:
Old Elder: Well hello! I am Elder Old and this is sister old. Did you just move in?
Me: Sorry who are you?
OE: We are from the ward. We were just called to this mission.
Me: What can I help you with?
OE: Well we “heard” that you moved in and wanted to know of you had a chance to meet the bishop?
Me: I don’t know anybody with that name.
OE: haha, well we wanted to know of you were a member of not.
Me: member of what?
OE: (turns red): Oh of the church, we show that you are or were.
Me: I was.
OE: Oh why did you leave?
Me: That is a deeply person question. I hope that you understand that I met you 30 seconds ago and therefore don’t feel comfortable discussing this with you.

EO: Oh, we don’t bite, just was curious.
Me: you mean you need to report something back to Mr. Bishop?
EO: Oh, well we want to know who is in the ward, do you have any issues with the church?
Me: Well I resigned, if that gives you a clue.
EO: the Bishop would be happy to stop by and discuss any doctrinal questions you might have.
Me: I don’t have any questions, at all. I know more about the gospel than you, but the gospel has nothing to do with the church. I left the church because it is too far from truth, kindness, honesty or any other principle taught by Christ.
EO: You sound like you do?
Me: Do you want me to mention the history, anachronisms, lies, abuse, false doctrine, changing doctrine and racism so we can work down the list of apologies and excuses culminating in the speaking as a man excuse or should we just jump to the feeling that it is all icky and I am happier now that I left?
Either way it is NONE of your business, none.
EO: well, sounds like you might not want further contact…
Me: Maybe having my name removed was not a clear enough hint. I don’t know why I can leave the church and the church can’t leave me alone.
EO: Well…hummm. Thank you, it was nice to meet you.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/23/2014 02:15PM by sb.

They also claimed they weren't sure you'd resigned.

Nothing worse than a OLD fool who should have gained wisdom over the years.

Yeah, I had that too :(

It was cool when I got to tell them I had resigned, told them why and told them I actively did all I could to help others to leave too.

Yes, that bit was good!

how annoying! you can leave the church, but they can't leave you alone.

Funny: I read your topic as "God visited...after resignation". Figured that would be a sure sign that you made the right decision if HE stopped by to shoot the bull with you....

God I'd let in the door so I can ask for my money back.

I was thinking "Wow, someone has actually met Him!"

Me too! Got a chuckle just thinking about a visit from God.

WOW sb! Props! That was amazing what you said to them! I hope if this ever happens to me, that I can do something of the same!

Great dialogue.

Don't the morons have an answer for everything? "Oh, we don't bite...." As if we really gave a care if they bit or not.

I especially laughed at your Mr. Bishop.

That was excellent!

Im sure they are spreading the news of the angry vile and downright rude ex member they oh so sweetly visited and how they just wish they could help you see your errored ways...

Good work!

I resigned in August 2013.

Some older-than dirt, forgot to die, set of senior missionaries knocked on my door one Sunday a month or two ago. I watched them and they were working just the in-actives and the exmos. I eventually saw a list clutched in her hand.


Sister Forgot to Die: "Would you like us to come in and teach you the gospel of Jesus Christ?"

Bite Me: <blank stare, crickets, a silent WTF?> "Uhhh, no thank you and please put us on your do not contact list."

Sister Forgot to Die: "You mean you don't want us to come in and teach you the gospel of Jesus Christ?"

Bite Me: <another blank stare, more crickets, another silent WTF?> "Like I said the first time, no thank you and please put us on your do not contact list. Buh-bye." <closes door>

That was entertaining. WOW! MORONS

This sounds like something my 80 year old parents would do.

If they come a knocking, just know this: They can take it. If they couldn't, they wouldn't be knocking on your door. You see, they love the mormon church more than themselves, their children, grandchildren, siblings, greatgrandchildren, etc. They have zero feelings toward humanity. In fact, they are cold as ice. They have loved a corporation for 80 years that has never loved them back.

They will do anything, and I mean anything for the corp. They will spend their last penny, they will render themselves homeless, do without necessities, live a miserable existence, whatever they need to do to bow down to the corporation. I hope door they knock on greets them with some truth.

You see, they've only heard truth one or two times in their entire life. I know that, because I was the one who told it to them. They didn't believe me. They won't believe you either. Still, I hope you tell them the truth. They need to hear it over and over before they die. Maybe one day a tiny little light will come on. Maybe they will live at least a moment of their life surrounded by truth. That will be the best thing that anyone could do for them.

If they stop by my place I will tell them an angel with a sword told me to start molesting little girls and if they have anyone in their ward to "recommend".

Funny! Yet, that TBM will write down in his notes. Possible child molester. Put on bishop's watch list if he ever decides to come to church.

Yet, you could go to any ward with a new name. I don't think the clerks actually ever ask for a license or real identification. They just give you the form, you feel it out, and bam, you are are now in the system. They may come back to you saying salt lake couldn't find your record.

Just look puzzled. Well that's odd. Well Brother Jasper, Jesus knows who I am.. hahaha chuckle. Okay, well I'm off now. Good day!

Resignation/change of address notification... same thing to them!