I attended a memorial service this weekend in Southern California at the college where my recently deceased my ex-husband worked. It was wonderful and I met so many people who worked with him, had him as an instructor and other friends. There were more people there than at his funeral in UT.

What struck me is the number of people I encountered during the weekend who assumed that I was a mormon simply because I live in UT. When I politely said I was not a mormon, they seemed surprised.

Really, is that the main thing people associate anyone from Utah with?

Yes.

Out here, if someone comes from Utah, you pretty much assume they're mormon.

Yes, I get that all the time both inside and outside of Utah.

Glad it was a nice event for you. It's always interesting to meet people who knew the deceased in different ways.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/19/2014 11:47AM by caedmon.

Pretty much, yes. :)

What was so very reassuring to me was how much he was admired and missed at the college. Students, faculty, staff and administrators sharing their respect for him and so forth.

I think it really made an impact on my grown children who have had a hard time coming to terms with their dad's homosexuality. They still cling onto the mormon faith and have had the "love the sinner, hate the sin" mentality. Seeing all these people who didn't seem to give a flip about his sexual orientation was just so refreshing.

They were also glad to see pictures of his earlier life when he was a college student and also when he had this family. Some were surprised by it.

Also, PapaKen was there...and it was great to visit with him too.

I have an older relative who is still a closeted gay man, no one in the family knows but me. I am anticipating some interesting moments at his funeral when his gay friends come as we have several homophobes in the family.

Almost everyone I meet who finds out I went to the U of U, and lived in SLC, asks me if I'm Mormon. I always reply, "I used to be."

I was glad I could make it to Don's memorial service. I really enjoyed seeing you Gemini! And meeting your 4 children and grandchildren. Your oldest son reminded me so much of Don - you should be proud of your kids! (and I know you are.)

For those who don't know her, Gemini is a wonderful woman who has been through a lot in her life, but has "weathered" the storms so very well. I have great admiration and respect for her.

What a wonderful gift to have that kind of closure instead of just the Plan of Salvation dog and pony show. I am really happy for you.

And yes, people most always assume you must be Mormon if from Utah.

It would be very tempting to respond, "Oh my gosh, I hope I don't give off that type of vibe." Too mean? Probably. My TBM family are actually pretty nice.

Most people do assume that if you're from Utah, you're Mormon because they know that state was founded by Mormons.

Yes, that's about the only thing most people know about Utah, is that it was founded by mormons. They know enough about mormons (or have their perceptions of mormons) of "why would anyone choose to live in Utah among mormons if they aren't one?"

It's sort of like if someone says they are from California, people assume they are liberal ("if you're not liberal why would you choose to live in CA among them?"), if they are from the south they are redneck Bible-thumper ("if you're not one, why would you choose to live among them?"), etc.

When I meet people and they learn I am from Utah, you can see the wheels turning in their head of "are they mormon?" but no one has ever asked. The only people that ask are mormons in Utah.

Oh yes it is. WE were military when we lived there, only hung out with military due to being shunned but if we met someone new they assumed we were military. Sad that a state has that reputation. But it is the Mormons who think it. Others don't assume. I never did until I realized these cult folks won't talk to you if you are not one of them. So once I realized it, I would say hi...often get ignored, and then I'd never bother with them again KNOWING exactly what they were.

Definitely.

I live in the Southeast, and around here, you would be presumed to be Mormon.

Well not quite the same as living in California if you are not a liberal. No one in California knocks at the door and doesn't take no for an answer if you aren't a liberal. No one shuns you and looks down at you for your beverage or underwear choices. No one shuns your children if you aren't a liberal. Liberal friends will still invite you to their children's weddings and will actually be friends with you even though you aren't liberal.

So no, not quite the same.

I've been in California for years, and I've had occasion to say I'm from Utah. But I don't look or act mormon. Once in a while I'll get questions about mormons, (you know, to get the other side of the story), but not about me personally.