I was taught that god and also Jesus have a glorified body. It has also been taught that god's body and Jesus's body is perfect. So my questions is this - is god's penis also perfect? Is god's penis the perfect size? What is the perfect size? 4 1/2 inches? 6 inches, 12 inches or perhaps 24 inches? JS taught that god's robe was open. Did JS see, feel and touch the many perfect penis's from the perfect gods and angels he spoke with? Why has the prophet not told us about god's perfect penis? Maybe god likes 14 year boys instead of old men.

Is god's penis circumcised? God wanted his followers to have circumised penises. Was that to make them more like him?

Who cut the foreskin off god's perfect penis? Was god's penis not perfect with foreskin?

Such questions about the penishood.

It hangs a little to the left.

That's why Mormons tend to lean to the right. There must be balance in the universe.

I love irreverent questions like this, mostly because I was never allowed to ask them. I always got told that it was inappropriate (Mormons love that word, don't they?) and that I was making light of sacred things. Well, fuck that.

One of the things I always wondered was, if God wants his followers to be circumcised, then why did he create them with a foreskin in the first place? Or did he purposely create the foreskin just so his followers would have something to cut off in the most painful place possible, just so they could prove their devotion by torturing their infant sons?

There you go, thinking again! Dammit stop that. Don't you know that comes from the devil? Just accept your "Jewish" butchered penis as it is and don't play with it. Understand?

Does god get jock itch?

Prescription, holistic medicine, or just over-the-Pearly treatments?

if God wants his followers to be circumcised,



It is the Jewish God of Abraham that made that covenant!
Jesus did away with the code of Moses......


Mormon are not required to mutilate their baby boys, but many do.

Don't try and justify it by saying something about cleanliness....the planet is doing just fine, serveral million strong, with uncircumcised men.


This question was not irrelevant, since the Mormon god wants to know everything about underage teenagers sexual activities....they have a right to know what a 'perfect' body is don't they?
After all they're being grilled about theirs......

Schwing!

It's right there in the BoA facsimile, something like: "Hey, Baby, you wanna see what a real *cubit* looks like..?"

So God also has a perfect appendix- a remnant from being human?

A "perfect" body would be the perfect height. It would have the perfect skin color and eye color (awkward!). Perfect stools (what are the intestines supposed to do?). God could clone more Gods from his own DNA. Why the need for women breeders?

The slightest moment of thought spent on this topic reveals how stupid it all is. I cannot believe people just accept this kind of pap.

I know right. The only reason for sexual reproduction is evolution. It creates more variation so a species' got a chance to stay ahead of its parasites and diseases. What's the use of that in the spirit world? What's a celestial kingdom with parasites and diseases, and evolution?

.....I'll go out on a limb and opine that the perfect penis is not 4.5 inches. :-)

Hahahaha! I wish there was a "LIKE" button sometimes!

The other extreme, 24 glorious inches! Uh... No thanks!

.....24 inches, but they're there if you want 'em :-)

And the next think you know you'll have dick in your throat.

OK, but what does the perfect asshole look like ?

Like my dead father.

Can god create a condom so big that not even his penis can fit? His foreskin was cut by Bill Brasky.

shem was born circumsised....

http://search.yahoo.co.jp/search?p=shem%20circumcised&sp=1&tid=top_ga1_sa&ei=UTF-8&fr=top_ga1_sa&SpellState=

Larry, Curley and Shem. HAHAHAHA!

...immaculate circumcision?

Mormons can't believe in evolution, which is a provable fact, and an anthropomorphic god.

Other religions that believe in an un-embodied god don't have this issue.

In my mind, this issue comes before Book of Mormon issues, BofA issues and Joseph Smith's BS.

Though educated Mormons like to think they can reconcile evolution and Mormonism, it does not work.

When I have to discuss why I left, I start with this, evolution.

Otherwise none of us would be here as exmos.

I don't think any of us were happy when the Mormon god fucked us.

I am guessing the perfect penis would automatically change size, shape and direction as needed, and probably would have a little vibration as well.

I gotta think that Joseph was a total let down for Mary. I mean, once you have ridden that type of package, a mortal schlong would seem boring.


In a related note, what position did Elohim use when impregnating Mary? I have always thought it was reverse cowgirl.

Lol. That got an audible laugh out of me.

Sadly, if you take a look at the research in http://cesletter.com/Letter-to-a-CES-Director.pdf
on p. 26 he mentions how Smith translated an Egyptian god of sex with an erect penis as Heavenly Father. More proof that Smith was obsesses with sex. Nobody here can say they did anything as blasphemous as create scripture with a drawing of God's penis.

God is America, and his penis is Florida.

and Lake Okeechobee is the giant Prince Albert piercing

Zing!

I'm surprised none of you noted the giant CTR c*ck ring!

The Jewish tradition has the bris (circumcision) set at eight days old. I certainly don't remember mine, so I don't know how much it hurt.

I just want to welcome any mormons who are new arrivals to RFM and are looking for answers to troubling questions.

That's relative; one person's perfect penis is not another's, and people's height and general sizes have increased over the millennia, so there's no way to tell what the perfect penis is (or anything else for that matter, it's all relative).

I can't even speculate as to whether God was genitally mutilated as a baby, that's a strange thought.

Beauty standards change from culture to culture. However God sees everyone as beautiful. So when I get a blessing saying I'll get a beautiful wife that heavenly father has in mind- is she beautiful in his standards or my standards?