So my favorite (not) Grandpa and Grandma missionary were back today (complete with the constant doorbell rings/knocks until I answered the door), even though I made it very clear last time I wished to be left alone. Today's topic was Meet the Mormons. Had I heard about it? Yes. Was I going to go see it? No. Why not? I don't have money to waste on movies. (Although to be fair, it's THAT movie that would be a waste).

When that failed, he whips a couple of tickets out to a 'quilt show'. Because THAT is going to be the catalyst to get me back to church.

I honestly don't understand why me saying NO translates into "come back in a few weeks and harass me some more".

From the design & layout of the 'ticket' (because these events are in such demand you need to limit attendance and all), it's literally people showing quilts they've made.

But again I am a quilter. I would never give someone tickets unless it was also an interest of theirs. You get to see what others have done and often catch up on new products and fabric lines. The best part is the shopping!

I'm a middle aged guy, so not exactly the 'target demographic'. I'm really not sure why he even offered it.

Oh come on! What middle age guys DOESN'T love to quilt? :D


well....I guess I am a middle aged guy who doesn't....so yeah...nevermind.

I'd never heard of one down here in the sunny South. I do know one quilter, but she lives in New England. I guess it's just too danged hot down here to quilt.

And Sersly, that's the strangest reactivation tactic ever. I'm aware that the pro-football player Roosevelt Grier did needlepoint, but the average middle-aged guy is not going to respond to quilting show tickets. Desperation, thy name is Mormon Missionary!

Actually, there are quite a few quilt shows in the south. There's a huge one in Atlanta. And I think in Dallas too. I've been to one in Nashville and a much smaller one in Memphis. And, of course, the granddaddy of them all is in Paducah Kentucky, near the quilt museum.

But if you're not into quilting, you probably wouldn't know or care.

Have you considered not responding to their knocks? You reward their efforts every time you open the door.

I've gone that route already. This is what happened:

3 doorbells, 4 knocks on back door.
4 doorbells, 5 knocks on front door.
2 more doorbells, 3 more knocks on back door.

The last time they were here, I straight up said : I don't plan on going back to church.

I thought we were at an understanding. It's been over a month, then they show up again today (although as soon as they quit, I did start suddenly getting home teachers popping by at random times). I, again, told them today "I'm not going back".

Why should 'I' have to cower inside and avoid them, they're the ones who don't understand social cues.

What I need is Cheryl's hose.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/12/2014 05:34PM by serslyqustning1981.

Try SusieQ#1's door sign:

NOTICE:

I am under no obligation to:
avoid all loud laughter,
lightmindedness,
evil speaking of the lords anointed
or any other impure or unholy practice

Enter at you own risk
Rachel, My New Name

(Big Smiley Face here!)

Here are some other ideas:

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1281895

And seriously, don't open the door. Your home is your castle. Treat it as such. Don't let down the drawbridge!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/12/2014 07:23PM by summer.

THAT SIGN IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!

But my wife would kill me.



But then again...how does she know my new name wasn't Rachel...hmmmm

An air horn might be effective.

I don't want Mormons on my property. I don't want to walk out into my yard and find them driving or walking up to me. I don't want them to park and come to the door close enough to read a sign. I don't want to have to explain a sign to other visitors who are not involved. I'm a friendly person and I don't want to discourage non-religious people from my door.

Next time answer the door in your underwear with a beer in your hand. Then tell them you've had a revolution.

It was close...my pajamas (sue me, I'm having a lazy day) and a glass of wine.

actually takes off their pajamas and puts on CLOTHES on Sunday? I had no idea.

:)

You should've opened the door with the glass of wine in your hand and said:

"Geez you're killin' my buzz man."

In hindsight, a White Russian and "Hey, Careful Man, There's A Beverage Here!" would have been appropriate as well. Although, I'm sure the reference would have been lost on him.

If they show up again, you'll file a police report which would be embarrassing to them and their church.

Every citizen has a right to file complaints with the police and send copies to the offenders.

Anyone at temple square will be arrested if they wear the wrong clothes or give speeches against the church. People in their homes have a 100% legal right to ban anyone from their property. They don't need to convince anyone that their reasons are sound.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTD5_FwdiBU

Hook this up to the stereo speakers and crank it up!

I love quilt shows too but I doubt I could get my husband, who will cook dinner, bake bread and help me tie a quilt, to go to one with me. Like a gun show, it has a specific demographic and why they thought you'd fit into it is beyond me. Here is what I always recommend in your situation:

"Hi missionaries. I've told you several times I left the church after a lot of study about the historical and doctrinal problems Mormonism has. If you keep coming back, I'm going to assume that you have doubts about Mormonism too and want more information to help you prove Mormonism is a fraud and get you out of the church. I'll prepare some of my best material for when you return that will help convince you that Mormonism is poison and in the meantime, look up Mormonthink.com. I realize you have to come over pretending to be missionaries at this point but you and I will both know you are on your way out of the faith and want to know more about how to do it. The information I have is really damning - you'll never want to be part of the church after you read it. See you when you return."

If they return, give them the CES letter or something easy to print from the internet. If they still bother you, look up the number of the mission president and leave the following message on his machine "Hey, there is a senior missionary couple in my area who came over asking for information debunking Mormonism because they know I'm an apostate and are seriously questioning the church. I just can't remember their names and don't have their phone number. Can you call me back with their number so I can get this information to them? Thanks."

BTW - Mormons are more scared of losing their testimony than they are of police, a loaded gun, hoses, swearing, angry dogs or coffee/wine/beer. Threaten them with anti-Mormon material and be excited they want to leave the church. Either they will leave you alone or they will leave the church. If they do neither, none of the above would work either. At that point, you'd have to get a restraining order.

The missionaries in my area started coming to my door about every week, after being on the once a year visit plan for several years. I finally got so annoyed that I sent in my resignation letter. A week later they showed up again and I told them that their constant visits had spurred me on to resign. They never came back.

Wonder if they lost sleep for driving you away.